The Student Room Group

I feel incredibly stupid posting this but..

I am 17, in 6th form and have never had sex, ever. I have never had a boyfriend, I haven't even KISSED a boy in my entire life and until today it has never bothered me..well it has SLIGHTLY but not as much as it does now. Like an hour ago my mum was asking me why I didn't have a boyfriend and I didn't know what to say, I don't know WHY I have never had a boyfriend.

I'm not exactly the most SOCIABLE person in the world, I don't go to town in the night or pubs or anything but at school I know pretty much everyone...all the lads I have liked in the past have all had girlfriends and this one I have a HUGE liking for has a girlfriend..who is my friend..so it would be nice to have someone else to think about.

I don't really know what I'm asking here..but if you met someone in my situation (17 and never even kissed a boy) would you think they were really weird?

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Reply 1
no, i wouldn't. the thing that makes me suspect people are weird is if they're being weird.
Reply 2
No, we wouldn't be surprised, because there are a billion threads identical to this on TSR. Search :wink:
Reply 3
jeez of course u aint wierd! if i met a girl who was 17 and never kissed or dated anyone before i would feel so privileged to be the first.
i was 18 before i was kissed and 23 for sex
Reply 5
Im in the exact same situation but im male.



awhright.


An no its not weird. There are plently of people like you.
Reply 6
Yeh I wouldn't worry about it. Will be 18 in June and am in the same situation
Reply 7
yeah, I was 18 when I had my first kiss. Not at all strange. Some of my friends still haven't and they are 19/20.
Honey, you sound just like me, i was 17 never had a boyfriend never been kissed. I'm now 20 in my second serious relationship and happier than ever. At 17 i had almost given up hope, my confidence was crushed to dust, i was convinced i would never have a boyfriend, but having moved sixth from had made some fab new friends like i'd never had before, they helped me regain my confidence i became more outgoing and sociable and my first (now ex) boyfriend found me just the summer before i turned 18. Don't give up hope, go out of your way to be sociable, talk to people, anyone. don't go looking, don't spend your time waiting around for a boyfriend. If you don't expect one or act/seem like you want one then one will come along. If not check out some guys you like, the worst they can do is say no and don't let that get you down, if they don't want you they are not worth it.
Reply 9
blackparade
I am 17, in 6th form and have never had sex, ever. I have never had a boyfriend, I haven't even KISSED a boy in my entire life and until today it has never bothered me..well it has SLIGHTLY but not as much as it does now. Like an hour ago my mum was asking me why I didn't have a boyfriend and I didn't know what to say, I don't know WHY I have never had a boyfriend.

I'm not exactly the most SOCIABLE person in the world, I don't go to town in the night or pubs or anything but at school I know pretty much everyone...all the lads I have liked in the past have all had girlfriends and this one I have a HUGE liking for has a girlfriend..who is my friend..so it would be nice to have someone else to think about.

I don't really know what I'm asking here..but if you met someone in my situation (17 and never even kissed a boy) would you think they were really weird?


Your post reminds me of something I would have posted a couple of years ago, so you are by no means alone here.

My advice is this: tell your mother it's none of her business, or vary your wording according to how pushy she's being. If she persists, ask her if she'd rather you go out with the first random guy who came along just to make her happy, while actually making yourself miserable in the process. When I did this i asked my mother if she'd like to see me pregnant because she was 17 when she had me so it was a personal connection.

Your situation is by no means abnormal. I'm 20 and I had just turned 20 when I first kissed a guy, so if nothing else you've found someone who is older than you and was in the same position. I say wait for the right person, don't take any crap from your mother, your friends, anyone. If it feels right for you to do something then do it, if it doesn't then keep well clear. It took a lot of strength for me to keep to this, but i'm glad I did now. My mum still says the odd thing but she knows I won't be pushed into anything now, i've made sure of that.
Yeah, Im in the same situation and I am getting severely depressed about it. Before I kept putting it off because boys were (and some kinda still are) real idiots and immature when I was in year 10-11. And it never bothered me coz I thought if I wait for my first kiss etc. it will be special. I still feel that way and I am not having sex till marriage but I just want companionship, dyu get me? I just want a boy to be close to confide in and love. And now its like practically all my close friends have had a boyfriend and their first kiss and I haven't. Practically all of them have someone in their life at the moment and I don't. There are about 10 of us and about 7 of them do, the rest don't care because they are like, people that do exactly what their parents tell them and act like they are in year 5. I mean there are good children, but I mean they are the kind that go to bed no longer than 9 if u get what they mean, so it really doesn't bother them. It bothers me. Especially as nearly all my friends are 18 or will be 18 by the end of this month and I will still be 17. Also, Im really short, with a young face and barely visible boobs so I look way younger than my age. It all sucks really. That is why I am depressed.
Sorry for depressing anyone else.
Reply 11
blackparade
I am 17, in 6th form and have never had sex, ever. I have never had a boyfriend, I haven't even KISSED a boy in my entire life and until today it has never bothered me..well it has SLIGHTLY but not as much as it does now. Like an hour ago my mum was asking me why I didn't have a boyfriend and I didn't know what to say, I don't know WHY I have never had a boyfriend...

I don't really know what I'm asking here..but if you met someone in my situation (17 and never even kissed a boy) would you think they were really weird?


:ditto: I'm the same as you but sweetie it's absolutely nothing to worry about :hugs:

Are you calling me weird? :hmmm: :p:
You're not weird, its just one issue with the young society that thinks its clever to have sex before you're 16. Don't worry what other people think.

I was 18 when i first had sex, which was with my partner of 5 months and it was all the more special coz it was with some one i loved and cared for. Dont go looking for love or sex, let it happen and it will be more special for it
Reply 13
OP, don't feel stupid. I posted a thread like this once :redface:

Just take life as it comes. :smile:

I am 17, in 6th form and have never had sex, ever. I have never had a boyfriend, I haven't even KISSED a boy in my entire life


When I turned 17, I hadn't done any of that. By the time I turned 18, all of that had changed. :wink: Don't lose hope.
You shouldn't let it bother you love.
Relationships (or more like finiding them) aren't the be all and end of our lives at this age. I reckon they're just a bonus. Like someone's already said, society just puts so much pressure on things that that's the way many people tend to feel, that it IS an absolute must.
Don't be dragged into it's "rules".

As I'm sure you've been told sooo many times, it really is worth waiting for.
Be happy with where you are right now. Not sad with what you're missing.
Smile :smile:
______x.
Reply 16
I'm in the same situation. I have become more outgoing since I started working (see sig), but just haven't actually met anyone who is both available and who I actually feel that I want to spend any potion of my life with.
Of course, I am hoping for a new start when I go to uni, and get out of the hell-hole that is Boston (apparently the fattest, laziest, most baby-killing place in the UK, and famous for rioting when England lost the football). So, don't fret it, take life as it comes.
Reply 17
i think its perfectly fine, if not preferable for a girl to have never kissed a guy however its a whole different story for guys.
Reply 18
You haven't had sex yet? What is the matter with you, such a bloody disgrace. Go crawl into a cave and stay there.

:rolleyes:
Reply 19
I wouldn't think you're weird, maybe you're just stuck in a really parochial town where you've never met anyone who you'd want to do that with. It's probably unusual, but that doesn't mean it's something for you to worry about. Going into town at night or pubs doesn't make your life any better and you probably wouldn't meet anyone nice there anyway.

I used to babysit for a family whose mum would often ask me if I had a boyfriend, and my mum has been doing the same since I split up with my ex boyfriend. It is annoying!

i think its perfectly fine, if not preferable for a girl to have never kissed a guy however its a whole different story for guys.


Why do you think this? I don't care whether or not someone has kissed anyone before me, I just hate bad kissers!