Is my father sexually abusing my sister?

My little sister and my father are really really close - he loves her more than anything it even makes my mum jealous !
She's 8, and basically a mini version of me (looks wise).

However I'm getting slightly suspicious because

a) he always wants to sleep with her in the same bed - which i thought nothing of but when my mum went away for a few weeks she told me not to let her sleep with him - so I made her sleep with me which he got really upset about. Eventually he started taking her anyway when we were sleeping and I didn't wanna cause trouble so I just let him.

b) he always talks about how she's beautiful and has the best body figure of all of us (she's skinny I guess but she looks just like any other 8 year old girl) and says that we all should have her perfect body. Whenever she dresses up for occasions he does that 'contruction worker whistle' and he puts her make up on for her.

c) he always kisses her on the lips and face and chest etc. but it's just a peck.

d) he takes her everywhere with him when he goes out (other than to work obv)

Am I overthinking this? I tried talking to her asking her if anyone's told her to keep a secret, touched her where they shouldn't etc but she said no...

It makes me feel strange and I wanna know that I'm not making a big deal out of nothing - what do you think?

Whether he is or not that's really ****ing weird and creepy.

It sounds like really creepy behaviour to me.

That's really weird

Please report this.

It sounds pretty weird, but she might just be his favourite. Have you spoken to your mum about it?

he is most likely - why don't you just ask your sister what goes on when they are sleeping. like does he put his arm around her?

I know it is hard to speak to your mum about this but casually mention how your dad always likes to sleep with your sister when he's in the room and study his reaction.

I think you need to talk to someone about this, it's not normal. Speak to your mum and let her know how you feel about it and then think about talking to someone who knows what they're doing, perhaps ring Childline or another helpline and see what their advice would be.

Hi there,

I’m sorry to hear that you are going through this, it can be difficult to know whether it is nothing or not but in a situation like this it’s often good to seek guidance from other people; maybe talking to your mum or a teacher/college or uni tutor or counsellor about this? If you’re really concerned about it but don’t want to speak to someone you know, then I would strongly recommend you ring ChildLine, they can they talk to you and give you advice on what to do in this situation and it will make you feel better to have some guidance.

Here’s the number for ChildLine in case you would like it: 0800 1111 or visit: https://www.childline.org.uk/pages/about.aspx

Take care

you need to talk to your sister and your mum and report this to the police

My advice to you is talk to your sister, when your dad is away sit her down. Kind of indirectly get information from her dont go all out and ask if he is doing something to her, just try and be sneaky about it. Seriously though, you're her brother and I genuinely think he is abusing her from the information, so protect her as the longer this goes on the more psychologically damaging its going to be for her.

PM me if you need further advice

Hmm yeah (I'm her sister lol ) but that also makes me wonder why her and not me or my other sister? I mean I don't remember any abuse going on between me and him, and he and my other sister are probably on opposite ends of the family not close at all...

I'll keep trying to get something out of her but I'm scared she might mention it. The other day she mentioned she didn't wanna sleep with my dad and he asked her why and she said "because I'm old now" and he threw the biggest fit and went round asking who told her she was too old, who told her it was inappropriate, who told her not to sleep next to him and she got upset and started crying and then she agreed to sleep next to him I just feel so bad for her

Hmm yeah (I'm her sister lol ) but that also makes me wonder why her and not me or my other sister? I mean I don't remember any abuse going on between me and him, and he and my other sister are probably on opposite ends of the family not close at all...

I'll keep trying to get something out of her but I'm scared she might mention it. The other day she mentioned she didn't wanna sleep with my dad and he asked her why and she said "because I'm old now" and he threw the biggest fit and went round asking who told her she was too old, who told her it was inappropriate, who told her not to sleep next to him and she got upset and started crying and then she agreed to sleep next to him I just feel so bad for her

My little sister and my father are really really close - he loves her more than anything it even makes my mum jealous !
She's 8, and basically a mini version of me (looks wise).

However I'm getting slightly suspicious because

a) he always wants to sleep with her in the same bed - which i thought nothing of but when my mum went away for a few weeks she told me not to let her sleep with him - so I made her sleep with me which he got really upset about. Eventually he started taking her anyway when we were sleeping and I didn't wanna cause trouble so I just let him.

b) he always talks about how she's beautiful and has the best body figure of all of us (she's skinny I guess but she looks just like any other 8 year old girl) and says that we all should have her perfect body. Whenever she dresses up for occasions he does that 'contruction worker whistle' and he puts her make up on for her.

c) he always kisses her on the lips and face and chest etc. but it's just a peck.

d) he takes her everywhere with him when he goes out (other than to work obv)

Am I overthinking this? I tried talking to her asking her if anyone's told her to keep a secret, touched her where they shouldn't etc but she said no...

It makes me feel strange and I wanna know that I'm not making a big deal out of nothing - what do you think?

Just because your also his daughter and did not get abused doesnt mean it cant happen to your little sister. As a person you sound quite wise and inquisitive maybe he picked up on that when you were a child and thought this is not the right target if that makes sense. Anyway my point is dont wait around for her to say something, do something about this straightaway. Defo call childline for advice- dont worry its completely anonymous.
And if your dad puts up a big fuss when your sister doesnt want to sleep with him how about saying straight up 'im sorry i have to speak out- this is not right if she doesnt want to sleep with you she doesnt.'
Maybe create a plan with your sister- like pretend you sleep walk or something and need someone to be in the same room as you, theres an excuse to keep your sister in your room. Please though do not let your sister spend one more night with him, even if it is doubts the reality is he can be abusing her whilst you are asleep- imagine the torment she must be going through! It stops now.

Is there a teacher you trust? It's important you get advice BEFORE you talk to her as if she makes a 'disclosure' [technical term] you need to know what to say so her evidence can be used.

Either talk to a teacher [child protection designated person in your school would be best] or ChildLine.

Rah i feel 4 u g. Not easy being second favourite child, my condolences are wit u. Stay strong fam.

Don't go straight to the police without finding out properly first, although it sounds a bit suspect you MIGHT be overthinking it

This might be a bit well dodgy but tell her to spill water in the bed in the middle of the night and pretend she wet the bed? And if it happens consistently you could say she's dealing with some sort of trauma and needs to change her routine or something and a means to overcome it, thus sleeping in her own bed. But convincing her to do it would be a bit difficult, tell her it's a prank? And no one would want to sleep in the same bed with a bed wetter right? Ah I dunno. But there is something pretty dodgy about your dad and your little sister