I know it's me, I just don't know what to do about it..

Debussy

....

Reply 1

ßlαcksωαn

Think about why he is with you and not another girl. He's with you and only you, he chose you he really likes you I'm assuming. Stop stressing over his past 'experiences' and think about what you two have together now!

Reply 2

Profesh

The longer you're with him without incident, the easier it will become. He's already evidenced his extensive capacity for promiscuous behaviour; the contrary can only be effectively 'proved' by an absence of such. Assuming a fairly rational mindset (contingent with whether or not you trust readily by default), this may take a long time; but it will happen.

Learning to trust is like learning to swim: rudimentary theoretical components notwithstanding, you'll only improve in practice; and the risk of drowning, however diminished, is ever-present.

Reply 3

MissyP

That was in his past when he was young and foolish. It looks like he wants to have a relationship with you and only you. Why would he mess things up?
You havent got a issue with his past, you have a trust issue and you need to sort it out before they get out of hand and you lose him.

Reply 4

BlackHawk

aww bex

His past is his past. If he still wanted to be with those girls then he would be. He wants to be with you. Don't ruin what you have. People can't change their pasts.

Reply 5

BlackHawk

Loooong time! Wzz and I are married now. :smile:

Have you told him that the reason you’re upset is trust? Do you not trust him because someone has hurt you in the past?

Reply 6

sidi

You need to make the distinction between meaningless sex (bed notches to impress mates) and relationship sex where you choose to be with that person. Don't spoil what you've got with your neuroses!

Reply 7

daniretro

I have just split from a year relationship with my first love. Before me, he seemed to get aorund alot too, and had a lot of female friends. I let his past get in the way of me and him, and i realise now that I was the one he wanted to be with, not anyone else, but at the time i could see it because i was so wound up in paranoia. Its best to think about your relationship, rather than past ones, because thats what basically split us up and now i regret it so much because he was so important to me, but in my mind the past kept cropping up and iterferring.
Its best to let it go, and thnk about how he Feels for YOU, rather then what he DID feel for anyone else

:smile:

Reply 8

Well if he keeps telling you new stuff about other girls, why don't you just ask not to talk about what went on in the past? Honesty to the point of spilling your guts about irrelevant things is definitely not the best policy in this case. My boyfriend's 9 years older than me and, by extension, obviously has more experience than I do. But he doesn't talk about any past relationships unless I ask, and hard as it is to think he's comparing me with them, I just have to trust that he's with me for a reason... because I'm better! And so are you, otherwise he wouldn't still be there.

You should really talk to him about it though, if it's bothering you this much, I'm sure he'll reassure you that he's with you and not them for a reason. Good luck sweetie, I know it's hard but it's so worth it if it works out.