Do you put up a front in large groups of people?

I've noticed recently that a close friend of mine completely changes when other people are around. With me he's very open, but when other guys are around it (or even another individual full stop) seems like he's trying to become a 'lad' as well and totally different to how he is with me. Question is, which one is the real him...the one i see when its just us two or the one that appears when we're in a crowd?

Reply 1

AYE

10

I know exactly what you mean, My friends do this and so do I sometimes.

It either two things:

1. He's trying too hard to impress others

2. He just adapts to the situation, where the other guys may be more lad like i.e. talking about footy all the time and err..being aggressive for no reason? lol

But i do think its more #2 with most people, you dont notice your self doing it so it must be instinct rather than consciously trying to be something your not, which you can notice you doing. <-hope that made sense.

Reply 2

ßlαcksωαn

17

I despise people who put on a front for other people, which the why I try my best not to. I mean sometimes we have to do it...but changing the way you are to be "in" with certain people is a stupid thing to do. To be yourself is the best thing you can do, if people don't like that, they can f off.

Reply 3

Yellowmarshmellow

I always feel more pressured infront of large groups of people and am probably alot more quiter because i worry that people will judge me. I'm sure that when you and him are alone you see the real him because i'm guessing he feels more comfortable and is himself etc as opposed to being around a big group and trying to fit in with everyone and adapt... if that makes any sense lol.

Reply 4

Chris.

1

They're both "him". But like anyone else he is different around different types/numbers of people.

Reply 5

scribble_girl

14

My friend's said this about me.. five people or less and I'll chatter away and not really care; any more than that and it takes me a while to warm up to the group (read: takes a few drinks :p:

) and I'll go a bit introverted for a bit.

I guess everyone's just different, I wouldn't worry about it unless he's being quite obviously fake or something. :smile:

Reply 6

Montrose

17

As Chris said, I don't think he is necessarily putting on a front, people are just different with different people. Personally, I would never be able to put on a front as I am who I am, but I am aware that I am louder around some people than others, make more jokes around some people etc. it's when he changes how he is when just aroudn you that you want to start worrying. :smile:

Reply 7

sufiankane

2

i dont see why you are all getting fussed, it aint a bad thing if person has 2 diffrent sides. if the other side is bad than be annoyed. I d act a bit differently when around with other peple and talk to diffeent people about different things. some of my freinds i talk alot aboutfunny poker stories, another friend i may talk about interesting article n wikipedi and funy sceince storis, anoheronei may tal bout recent boxing matches. I men ithe toher people are talking about footy,you cant exactly instantly change the subject onto something like shoes, so you talk about footy.

Reply 8

Montrose

17

sufiankane

i dont see why you are all getting fussed, it aint a bad thing if person has 2 diffrent sides. if the other side is bad than be annoyed. I d act a bit differently when around with other peple and talk to diffeent people about different things. some of my freinds i talk alot aboutfunny poker stories, another friend i may talk about interesting article n wikipedi and funy sceince storis, anoheronei may tal bout recent boxing matches. I men ithe toher people are talking about footy,you cant exactly instantly change the subject onto something like shoes, so you talk about footy.

I think they mean when someone is consciously trying to be different i.e. pretending to be someone they're not just for the sake of being popular, rather than staying true to themselves. It's not as simple as just talking about different things with different people.

And if you're friends with someone it has important implications. If you don't know whether someone is being 'themselves' with you, trust can be strained.

Reply 9

shatteredmedic

I do it as well i suppose, but isnt it just adapting to the audience?
I mean u wouldnt speak to the queen as you would to a little prick that just keyed ur car would u?

i mean its just how girls wud talk to each other about synchronising periods and whatnot, but u wouldnt say that to a boy.

Reply 10

noodles!

14

I've noticed that converation is better when theres more than one other person with me. I can get on better with one of my friends really well if there's someone there. But put me on my own with her and we don't talk half as much =/

Reply 11

utter_nutter

*Sunflower*

I've noticed recently that a close friend of mine completely changes when other people are around. With me he's very open, but when other guys are around it (or even another individual full stop) seems like he's trying to become a 'lad' as well and totally different to how he is with me. Question is, which one is the real him...the one i see when its just us two or the one that appears when we're in a crowd?

Hey, i do this a lot too, but maybe for different reasons. I feel more uncomfortable in big groups and therefore tend to be quieter...its only after i know all the people well that i can be more outgoing, but when im just with 1 or 2 other people im completely different, way more outgoing even if i have only just met them. i know from this experience myself, the real me is the outgoing one when im with only one or 2 people...thats the time im most comfortable, so id say the real him is the one when he is with you and feels most comfortable. sounds like he feels he has to fit in when there's a group of lads so he is uncomfortable in that situation as he feels he has to change his attitudes...just a thought. sorry that was so long lol.

Do you put up a front in large groups of people?

Related discussions

Articles for you