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Should I pay for the girl?

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In my opinion OP, if I went on a date with a girl (By some HALLELUJAH miracle) and she expected me to pay for the whole thing then I'd be a bit put of...

You tight bastard.

Reply 41

Yellow 03

Original post by John55

What if OP's to punk rock for etiquette?

He can be thrash metal, it still applies.

Reply 42

John55

Original post by Cadherin

You tight bastard.

Why am I a 'tight bastard', in your opinion?

Reply 43

JoshDawg

To be honest I clicked on this expecting you to say she was a prostitute.

If you're taking her to dinner you should pay in my opinion, if you're doing something like rock climbing ask if she wants to go with you and mention something like "oh it's £15 a head too".

Reply 44

battycatlady

Original post by Cadherin

You tight bastard.

Legit nothing to do with this thread, but is your username (cadherin) named for the transmembrane proteins or something else? :P So curious haha

Reply 45

Cadherin

Original post by battycatlady

Legit nothing to do with this thread, but is your username (cadherin) named for the transmembrane proteins or something else? :P So curious haha

Yes, I am a calcium cation-dependent adhesion molecule present in desmosomes (cell-cell adhesion structures).

Fun, hey?! (Well, for a cell and molecular biologist anyway). :biggrin:

In relation to this thread, (joking aside with the 'tight bastard') I have to disagree with you I'm afraid, in that I think that (at least on a first date) it is important for the man to pay, and this is coming from a bloke.

Traditionally, it has been the case that the man pays. It's may be interpreted as 'sexist', but I don't care, it's called being a gentleman, sexist or not.

Tradition may be sexist, but does not have an overwhelming bias of one gender - why does the bride's family traditionally pay for the wedding?

Biologically-speaking, the male is hoping the female will one day give birth to his offspring; thus, he puts out a competitive display to attract a mate. (I.e. toned abs, lifts every day, pays for meals - the former two not me by any means btw). Thus, he should pay for dinner.

Reply 46

Abstract_Prism

Original post by zill1

Have arranged to do an activity with a girl that I like and want to be intimate with eventually.

She doesn't know that yet. Question: should I pay for the stuff I do with her or split the cost?

I am not loaded btw.

Split the cost.

I only recently got out of a relationship where I always paid for the girl and bought her gifts and all that stuff. Long story short she came to take me for granted. I can only blame myself really.

If she gets offended about splitting the costs then she's not good enough for you.

Reply 47

zill1

Original post by Josb

What 'stuff' exactly?

Just some neutral activity such as going to a movie.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 48

Obstrepherous

Original post by battycatlady

Split the cost!

Expecting the bloke to always pay is unfair to the man and is sexist to the woman as it relates back to the idea that a woman must be 'kept' by her chap.

p.s. you could be a girl but I assume you are a bloke to be asking this question, so sorry if I got that wrong.

Reply 49

trustmeimlying1

Original post by battycatlady

It's not sexist to open a door for someone. It's sexist to open a door for someone specifically because they're a woman. You should hold the door open because it's basic human decency, not because you're trying to pull. Whoever gets there first should open the door.

Paying for someone on a date is fine. What's not fine is assuming the man should pay because he's a man or a woman expecting that.

On a first date, tbh, you should both offer to pay IMO. And while one person almost always ends up paying on a date (which is cool), to expect it of someone based on gender is stupid.

Also, yes, so glad I don't live back then, where I didn't have a vote or that much choice in who I married.

I get the girl to pay first date.

Reply 50

PossiblyNotGod

You know I don't care if the guy is expected to pay or split the bill, what bothers me is there is no consensus on this today.

There is a considerable split between what women as a whole actually expect in this regard and from a guy's perspective, it's confusing as ****.

Reply 51

redleader1

Offer to pay first then if she says no go half's if she doesn't say anything it depends on the cost and if she actually considers it a date.

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Reply 52

Phoebe Buffay

My understanding of this is that if you invite somebody to something, then you pay (irrespective of gender), whereas if you jointly make plans/agree to something then you split the costs.

Reply 53

phunky_fresh

I think you should offer to pay tbh because it's a nice thing to do. Just see if she attempts to reach for her purse or offers to pay for at least something. Pay for the activity this time around, let her contribute and buy you a drink afterwards or Something, if she is insisting on it. Next time play it by ear.

Another option is to ask her indirectly to see what her thoughts and expectations are. In a nutshell you will be able to tell alot by what she says and how she says it.

Reply 54

Kallisto

Entertainment Forum Helper

Original post by zill1

Why I am thinking about a whore right now? the title of this thread is so ambiguous.

Are you talking about living with your girl in a flat/house together? if that is the case, you should split the cost.

Reply 55

Andy98

Offer to pay, if she prefers to split the bill do that

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 56

PangXie

Refusing to let a guy pay can turn a bit unpleasant. Assuming I like the guy enough to see him again, I always offer to get it. If he refuses I offer to split, and if he insists on paying again then I let him with the explicit agreement that I'll pay next time. It ends the date on a nice note as we both know we want to see each other again. :h:

Like someone said above, if I've already decided I'm not seeing him again, I'll insist on splitting. It's not fair to use his money and bugger off.

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Reply 57

It's****ingWOODY

I'd offer to pay, though if she accepted I'd be silently judging her.

Reply 58

leepalmer

Omg women love gentlemen, that's a law. I think a man has to pay for the first date, make gifts from time to time, open doors, etc. It makes a woman wanting you.