Should I pay for the girl?

Original post by Mancini

I remember opening a door for a lady , just being my kind self. This lady I'm guessing she's gone through feminist indoctrination refused to go through the door , she stood there and looked at me and I looked at her kind of confused as to what was happening. She gave me a faint smile with her arms crossed and held the door herself and motioned for me to walk through, I smiled, perplexed as I walked through the door. I take it she was somehow offended by my opening of the door for her as if it was a sexist act. It's really sad that a guy can't just be kind to a woman without her thinking it's something sexist these days.

Note these women are only opening the doors for men in reaction to some false notion that all men are sexist and with their patriarchy not out of kindness.

What you did was very nice, idk if I should tell you not to get jaded, that their are some woman who still do appreciate it, or to tell you let the door slam in their faces. Rarely guys will even open the door for a woman pushing a stroller, and I can't even feel bad for them, because if they are strong enough to push out a baby they can manage to push a stroller and find a way to open the door at the same time right?. Guys are losing their kindly acts because of feminists.

Reply 85

Zechs

14

Original post by xobeauty

What you did was very nice, idk if I should tell you not to get jaded, that their are some woman who still do appreciate it, or to tell you let the door slam in their faces. Rarely guys will even open the door for a woman pushing a stroller, and I can't even feel bad for them, because if they are strong enough to push out a baby they can manage to push a stroller and find a way to open the door at the same time right?. Guys are losing their kindly acts because of feminists.

It feels like a waste of time trying to be nice to women, a few seem to think you must have some ulterior motive so even I pretty much don't care no more although I try not let such people change me. There are still good kind well mannered women out there though and this women who reacted like that to me looked kind and I'm sure she thinks she's doing the right thing maybe because of the fact she was older then me she thinks she's teaching me something in behaving like that but to me it's wrong.

Me opening the door for a woman does not mean I simply see her as a sexual object or her below me or that she's weaker then me , guys even open doors for men just seems these new age feminists want to change society to the extremes. Look around society everyone seems miserable, they are only changing society especially just ordinary everyday norms concerning manners for the worst.

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 86

Zechs

14

To the OP paying whether in full of half is really upto you and how you feel also your relationship with this girl. Paying doesn't mean the girl will necasserily be more impressed with you or that you will keep her longer. I'm glad I've met girls who don't mind paying for themselves, it should never be you have to pay just because you have a penis nor you have to pay to be a gentleman whatever that means.

Reply 87

Original post by Mancini

It feels like a waste of time trying to be nice to women, a few seem to think you must have some ulterior motive so even I pretty much don't care no more although I try not let such people change me. There are still good kind well mannered women out there though and this women who reacted like that to me looked kind and I'm sure she thinks she's doing the right thing maybe because of the fact she was older then me she thinks she's teaching me something in behaving like that but to me it's wrong.

Me opening the door for a woman does not mean I simply see her as a sexual object or her below me or that she's weaker then me , guys even open doors for men just seems these new age feminists want to change society to the extremes. Look around society everyone seems miserable, they are only changing society especially just ordinary everyday norms concerning manners for the worst.

That's what I meant when I said people are taking feminism to a whole new level. They are making guys with manners feel like they are doing something horrible- they are apart of the reason why society has become unpleasant. Guys don't know what to do with themselves concerning woman, the most simplest tasks like paying for a girl or not, they don't know what to do with themselves. Even something so simple like opening the door for a woman has come an issue. Last time I checked, if a guy opens a door for you that **** should make you smile like wow how nice what a sweet gesture, but apparently it's like ew how dare you.

Reply 88

lilylf

9

I'm a girl and I would recommend you pay for yourselves? for example if you have lunch and yours costs £10 and hers cost £8 then you should pay £10 and she should pay £8, I feel that just makes sense? idk..some girls like men to pay.

Reply 89

If it's our first date, I definitely expect you to pay for it.

Reply 90

TheGuyReturns

16

If the date goes well, no! Split it. If it goes badly, excuse yourself to the bathroom and slip out the window.

Original post by Peachykeen09

If it's our first date, I definitely expect you to pay for it.

What about 2nd? 3rd?...

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 91

zill1

OP

6

Original post by Makadia

I don't think it is a date though, and I think he is asking the question for that very reason, because although it isn't a date, he does want to date.

Yes, correct.

Reply 92

Original post by TheGuyReturns

If the date goes well, no! Split it. If it goes badly, excuse yourself to the bathroom and slip out the window.

What about 2nd? 3rd?...

If I see that he paid for our first date and I get asked out again, I don't mind splitting or paying for it. I need to see that dude's willing to treat a girl right first and to me that includes planning a nice first date and paying for it.

Reply 93

Original post by zill1

Yes, correct.

Did you go yet?

Reply 94

Anonymous #1

Original post by xobeauty

It's the first date you pay. I can't believe guys really are so unsure of this.

1966, if the man doesn't offer to pay he shouldn't expect a second date.

2016, if a woman doesn't offer to pay half she shouldn't expect a second date.

Few men want unambitious, old-fashioned women who lack any semblance of independence. You should question the long term intentions of them men that do.

Reply 95

Llamageddon

18

Original post by Peachykeen09

If I see that he paid for our first date and I get asked out again, I don't mind splitting or paying for it. I need to see that dude's willing to treat a girl right first and to me that includes planning a nice first date and paying for it.

Treating somebody right isn't about paying for her meal. First date there's no way you know her well enough to be investing £50+. Where there's no emotional investment there's no financial investment. You're going to find only really sleazy men who just want sex with that sort of attitude.

Or weak doormats.

Reply 96

Original post by Llamageddon

Treating somebody right isn't about paying for her meal. First date there's no way you know her well enough to be investing £50+. Where there's no emotional investment there's no financial investment. You're going to find only really sleazy men who just want sex with that sort of attitude.

Or weak doormats.

If money is such a problem then I would say don't go on dates or only go one dates where you know beforehand that the girl is on the same page as you. As for me, I think that's how first dates should go and it's a turn off if the guy is being a cheapskate. The guy asked me out on a date, I didn't so he should pay. Nah, I have a boyfriend and he paid for our first date completely as it should be done. Now we split or I pay for it sometimes but majority of the time he pays and that's how it should be.

Reply 97

Makadia

2

Adressing the females here, answer this as i think it will be more helpful to the OP.
If your male friend, who you are not going out with, asked if you wanted to go to the cinema with them (or whatever activity) and you say yes, would you expect your male friend to pay for you then? And if he did pay, even if you didn't expect him to, what would you infer from that?

(edited 8 years ago)

Reply 98

Original post by Llamageddon

Treating somebody right isn't about paying for her meal. First date there's no way you know her well enough to be investing £50+. Where there's no emotional investment there's no financial investment. You're going to find only really sleazy men who just want sex with that sort of attitude.

Or weak doormats.

Imo you shouldn't be dating and stay single until you're well on your feet. If 50$ is a problem your focus should be on other things like a better job, finishing school ect.

Reply 99