This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Loneliness
- I (28m) don’t trust my gf (28f)
- Newbie at uni
- What do I buy for studying Architecture (laptop)
- Bf , 3 years, in his 30s lives with someone
- York St John - City Residence Accommodation
- does anyone else do this?
- KCL accommodation
- Bringing a Gaming PC to Uni? Is it likely to get stolen?
- DSA Remtek CON ARTISTS
- DSA HELP!! Laptop
- iPad or laptop
- Is it normal to feel lonely and that you don’t belong at Uni?
- Can you order DSA laptop from curry’s
- Is it time to go on a break or end it...
- Laptops
- Pearson ActiveLearn
- Oxford HAT
- How do I stop my bfs scrolling addiction?
- Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
My BF left his facebook open on the laptop..
and I read it - which was an invasion of his privacy - but now I know exactly what he has been up to and im ashamed of him now..
Dont know what to do, do i confront him and face the backlash for reading it or just ignore it..
were not tlkin little guy things were talkin criminal behaviour and I just cant look at him in the same way now
Dont know what to do, do i confront him and face the backlash for reading it or just ignore it..
were not tlkin little guy things were talkin criminal behaviour and I just cant look at him in the same way now
Scroll to see replies
purpleone
and I read it - which was an invasion of his privacy - but now I know exactly what he has been up to and im ashamed of him now..
Dont know what to do, do i confront him and face the backlash for reading it or just ignore it..
were not tlkin little guy things were talkin criminal behaviour and I just cant look at him in the same way now
Dont know what to do, do i confront him and face the backlash for reading it or just ignore it..
were not tlkin little guy things were talkin criminal behaviour and I just cant look at him in the same way now
What exactly? Is he cheating on you?
give it a bit of time
cos he may come out to you about it. but not too long.
cos he may come out to you about it. but not too long.
I won't ask you to reveal what exactly this is..but is this criminal behaviour harmful to others? If it is then you definitely need to confront him.
If the behaviour is only potentially harmful to himself (like drug taking) then it's a personal decision over how much it bothers you. You've got to weigh up whether it is worth the potential arguments over invasion of privacy. You shouldn't have been snooping, but you have done and now you've found out something you didn't want to know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss
Also you have to take what is said on a site like facebook with a pinch of salt. Is it possible he is joking or bragging to mates and not actually doing whatever it is?
If the behaviour is only potentially harmful to himself (like drug taking) then it's a personal decision over how much it bothers you. You've got to weigh up whether it is worth the potential arguments over invasion of privacy. You shouldn't have been snooping, but you have done and now you've found out something you didn't want to know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss
Also you have to take what is said on a site like facebook with a pinch of salt. Is it possible he is joking or bragging to mates and not actually doing whatever it is?
just desserts and all that
Well what exactly did you see that it upset you so much?
I don't blame you for having a look, who wouldn't? lol! Also isn't his facebook page viewable by everyone on the internet anyway so couldn't you have discovered it that way?
If you don't feel it's appropriate to say what he has done thats fair enough but it may help me understand more how your feeling and be able to tell you exactly what i would do. But going on what you have said it's something you don't like. Therefore you have to bring it up to him because you can'y go on knowing and feeling awkward around him.
If it is something that you know for 100% sure is true and you don't think you can be with him because of it maybe you should have a chat and tell him you don't think it can work out between you unless his behaviour changes. I don't agree with the person who said its your fault for lookin at his facebook, he really shouldn't have anything on there he would be embarrassed of you finding.
Furthermore if he is willing to keep this thing from you (as he hasn't ever mentioned it to you before) then do you really think you could trust him with other things?
All this said my only real advice would be to have a chat, say your really sorry for looking but went on his laptop and found something... Say you know you shouldn't have been snooping but he did leave it open and you didn't assume you would find untoward things on there. If he is angry with you for looking he obviously has a guilty complex and is annoyed he got found out. Just make sure you don't end up feeling too bad about looking after all it is possibly very lucky? you did?
Hope it all works out for you
If you don't feel it's appropriate to say what he has done thats fair enough but it may help me understand more how your feeling and be able to tell you exactly what i would do. But going on what you have said it's something you don't like. Therefore you have to bring it up to him because you can'y go on knowing and feeling awkward around him.
If it is something that you know for 100% sure is true and you don't think you can be with him because of it maybe you should have a chat and tell him you don't think it can work out between you unless his behaviour changes. I don't agree with the person who said its your fault for lookin at his facebook, he really shouldn't have anything on there he would be embarrassed of you finding.
Furthermore if he is willing to keep this thing from you (as he hasn't ever mentioned it to you before) then do you really think you could trust him with other things?
All this said my only real advice would be to have a chat, say your really sorry for looking but went on his laptop and found something... Say you know you shouldn't have been snooping but he did leave it open and you didn't assume you would find untoward things on there. If he is angry with you for looking he obviously has a guilty complex and is annoyed he got found out. Just make sure you don't end up feeling too bad about looking after all it is possibly very lucky? you did?
Hope it all works out for you
What's with people slamming her for looking at his Facebook 'without him knowing'? Everybody that looks at a person's Facebook does it without that person knowing. It's not private, like reading his emails or anything, it's a profile page viewable by anyone in his friends or in his network, so she's not done anything wrong.
What exactly is it he's done? Maybe you should ask him about it - if you're worried he thinks you're snooping, just register on Facebook yourself and add him as a friend.
What exactly is it he's done? Maybe you should ask him about it - if you're worried he thinks you're snooping, just register on Facebook yourself and add him as a friend.
abc101
What's with people slamming her for looking at his Facebook 'without him knowing'? Everybody that looks at a person's Facebook does it without that person knowing. It's not private, like reading his emails or anything, it's a profile page viewable by anyone in his friends or in his network, so she's not done anything wrong.
If it's really bad (this is where the lack of an anon function is a problem, since you can't really tell us as yourself, I presume) and you don't think you want to go out with him anymore, think of another reason and quickly split up with him! You'll never have to tell him what you did.
...which was a really terrible thing btw. Maybe facebook isn't so bad (not as bad as a diary, for example) but I was still pretty annoyed when two of my friends went on mine the other day; they changed loads of things, and just generally strung me along that they'd messaged people. Especially after one of them left their facebook open on my laptop and I logged them off, because I wouldn't invade their privacy by going on it.
If you do tell him, you'll have to be careful how you put it if you do want to continue to have a relationship with him. I never trusted my ex-boyfriend properly again after he read my diary.
...which was a really terrible thing btw. Maybe facebook isn't so bad (not as bad as a diary, for example) but I was still pretty annoyed when two of my friends went on mine the other day; they changed loads of things, and just generally strung me along that they'd messaged people. Especially after one of them left their facebook open on my laptop and I logged them off, because I wouldn't invade their privacy by going on it.
If you do tell him, you'll have to be careful how you put it if you do want to continue to have a relationship with him. I never trusted my ex-boyfriend properly again after he read my diary.
?? Not exactly sure where all the snooping malarky is coming from. My boyfriend knows everything there is to know about me - and is therefore welcome to read my texts, my e-mails whatever. Why should that be an invasion of privacy if we know each other well enough to be together and to share our lives with one another... that kind of means not keeping secrets from each other. I've certainly got nothing to hide from him, and I want him to know everything about me... He's the person I'm in love with.
*is generally confused by the sentiments that are being displayed in this thread*
I have however, been in a similar situation to you in the past. Although my findings were quite by accident. I'm going to PM you about it, because what I found isn't exactly something I want broadcast over the internet, but if it's similar in any way, then the way I handled the situation may help you decide what you want to do about it.
Cxx
*is generally confused by the sentiments that are being displayed in this thread*
I have however, been in a similar situation to you in the past. Although my findings were quite by accident. I'm going to PM you about it, because what I found isn't exactly something I want broadcast over the internet, but if it's similar in any way, then the way I handled the situation may help you decide what you want to do about it.
Cxx
Create
?? Not exactly sure where all the snooping malarky is coming from. My boyfriend knows everything there is to know about me - and is therefore welcome to read my texts, my e-mails whatever. Why should that be an invasion of privacy if we know each other well enough to be together and to share our lives with one another... that kind of means not keeping secrets from each other. I've certainly got nothing to hide from him, and I want him to know everything about me... He's the person I'm in love with.
*is generally confused by the sentiments that are being displayed in this thread*
I have however, been in a similar situation to you in the past.
*is generally confused by the sentiments that are being displayed in this thread*
I have however, been in a similar situation to you in the past.
A lot of people who would not appreciate their partner noseying around in their communications would not see it as showing a lack of trust, or hiding things; they just don't want their business looked over. That's fair enough. Each to their own.
Also I don't really see how you can be so confused by the thread when you say you've been in a similar situation.
Create
?? Not exactly sure where all the snooping malarky is coming from. My boyfriend knows everything there is to know about me - and is therefore welcome to read my texts, my e-mails whatever. Why should that be an invasion of privacy if we know each other well enough to be together and to share our lives with one another... that kind of means not keeping secrets from each other. I've certainly got nothing to hide from him, and I want him to know everything about me... He's the person I'm in love with.
theres a huge difference between willingly telling someone something and them going through your texts or emails etc behind your back. i tell my bf almost everything but there are some things that arent anything to do with him. ie if a friend talked to me/msned about a problem then its not allways something that i can or will share with my bf. i would be very annoyed if he didnt understand that and went through my msn log to find whatever we were talking about. some things hes just better off not knowing.
When I said confused - I was referring to the feelings of snooping etc.
I'm not going to turn this thread into a debate about whether or not being generally open in a relationship is not possible if one half of the relationship keeps their communications with other people private. I appreciate your views, but I personally don't see how you can have that trust in a relationship if you don't want your other half to see some of your communications, as this kind of implies guilt to me. I'm not saying that all you people who like to keep things private are guilty of anything! I'm just putting forward how that comes across to me. If people don't agree, they don't agree. This will be my last post on it.
Have PMed the original poster.
Hope things aren't too bad with you
Cxx
I'm not going to turn this thread into a debate about whether or not being generally open in a relationship is not possible if one half of the relationship keeps their communications with other people private. I appreciate your views, but I personally don't see how you can have that trust in a relationship if you don't want your other half to see some of your communications, as this kind of implies guilt to me. I'm not saying that all you people who like to keep things private are guilty of anything! I'm just putting forward how that comes across to me. If people don't agree, they don't agree. This will be my last post on it.
Have PMed the original poster.
Hope things aren't too bad with you
Cxx
maybe he cares about you more than you think and the reason he's hid his other side from you is to not upset you. I have things about my past that i wouldnt exactly be comfortable talking about with a SO no matter how well i knew them.
People are allowed to have secrets you know, and if its directly nothing todo with you (not cheating etc) i hope you dont judge him by them.
People are allowed to have secrets you know, and if its directly nothing todo with you (not cheating etc) i hope you dont judge him by them.
Well just to say that the whole guilt idea doesn't really wash with the example of high priestess fnord's friend's messages. I mean, she would not feel any guilt about her friend sending her a message, but high priestess fnord may not have her friend's blessing to discuss her with anyone else.
Related discussions
- Loneliness
- I (28m) don’t trust my gf (28f)
- Newbie at uni
- What do I buy for studying Architecture (laptop)
- Bf , 3 years, in his 30s lives with someone
- York St John - City Residence Accommodation
- does anyone else do this?
- KCL accommodation
- Bringing a Gaming PC to Uni? Is it likely to get stolen?
- DSA Remtek CON ARTISTS
- DSA HELP!! Laptop
- iPad or laptop
- Is it normal to feel lonely and that you don’t belong at Uni?
- Can you order DSA laptop from curry’s
- Is it time to go on a break or end it...
- Laptops
- Pearson ActiveLearn
- Oxford HAT
- How do I stop my bfs scrolling addiction?
- Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 1 month ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 1 month ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.
