Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Hi,

I will try to keep this short as possible but please read all of it

I`m 19 nearly 20. I dropped out of University last year after one year as I couldn't stand the pressure and the whole best time of your life rubbish. I didn`t make many friends since I don`t drink much and I am kind of shy due to low confidence and this has affected me in a way that I can be in a room full of people and still feel disconnected and lonely.

Since then I feel like my life is just passing me by. I volunteer and have singed up for a walking group and will hopefully be joining them on walks soon. I feel like I am a failure because of many things. One of them is being a virgin and never having any sort of physical relationship with a girl at my age and I feel if I do meet someone they would think I am pathetic that at 19/20 years of age I haven`t experienced a natural encounter or even been on a date.

Second of all I also have low confidence due to being bullied from primary school all the way till the end of college. Now some people have said get a grip you`re 19! Well OK that`s true however I just feel like I don`t fit in and not being able to have any decent long lasting friends, I feel like I`m not going to be able to live a normal life. So now I am in constant cycle of feeling low and trying remain positive to no avail. It`s like I am empty on the inside and nothing seems to make me happy anymore.

With the things I have spoke about above and returning to a different University this September I am really dreading the freshers week because I don`t like the whole get pissed and high as possible and getting off with everyone you see. I struggled with one year at Uni and I am really worried it will be a full repeat of last time but at a different Uni and I really can`t go through the turmoil and distress of a second time round of anxiety and loneliness.

Does anyone have any advice or their own opinions on the things I have wrote about above?
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Anonymous #2
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Hey dont worry. I'm almost 20, and still a virgin. It puts me down sometimes when all my friends have relationships etc. Ive never even had a proper relationship thats lasted longer than a month
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey dont worry. I'm almost 20, and still a virgin. It puts me down sometimes when all my friends have relationships etc. Ive never even had a proper relationship thats lasted longer than a month
Hi,
It is really demoralising isn`t it when you try to be confident about oneself however (from my perspective) that if someone asked me and I told the truth I would be ridiculed. Not by some 15 year old but people my age! It doesn`t really help when I don`t particularly like myself even though others say I am a great person to talk to.
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username2340301
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi,
It is really demoralising isn`t it when you try to be confident about oneself however (from my perspective) that if someone asked me and I told the truth I would be ridiculed. Not by some 15 year old but people my age! It doesn`t really help when I don`t particularly like myself even though others say I am a great person to talk to.
Yh I know what you mean. I tell all my close friends the truth, but not people at uni. They'll take the mick otherwise. I'm the only girl I know at uni whose still a Virgin


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Findlay6
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I don't drink and didn't go to uni for the "best time of my life". This did mean that I didn't make any best friends at uni, and missed out on the nightlife 100% of the time but it didn't bother me, because it's not something I was interested in doing. Instead, I did things I enjoyed doing and met friends that also enjoyed not-getting-pissed.
Same thing happened during my MA - everyone wanted to go out and drink after lectures, I'd go with them, have a soft drink and leave when I wanted to.

The people at Uni have no idea who you are, whether you got bullied; that you left uni - nothing, unless you tell them. This is an opportunity to become the person you'd like to be. Nobody is forcing you to drink every night, bars serve non-alcoholic drinks too. Join societies or clubs that you find interesting and meet people that way, or join websites like "meetup.com" where people create clubs to join.

As for sexual activity - who cares? It's not an issue unless you make it one. At least when you are with a girl, she can be assured that you're STI free, and haven't slept with every female in the area. Good trait to have. Saying that, if you are craving some form of intimacy, get online - dating sites are everywhere, and you can sell yourself and be picky.
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LJStudent
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Be proud of who you are. You have the power in yourself to be what you want to be and do the things you want to do. Out of your whole life, this is a very small part of it and the bad times will pass. I can promise you that.
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Anonymous #2
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in all honestly, im a virgin myself and id rather my partner also be a virgin. like someone said, it allows u to realise they have no STIs and i feel its more special too
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olivizzaa
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If uni is something you really want to do you need to push through the bad at the start. Firstyear can be really lonely for a lot of people. Things didn't start looking up for me until halfway through second year. If the course is what you want to do, you need to focus on that.
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Anonymous #1
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Thank you for your advice/opinions as they are really helpful and Knowing that other people feel the same and other people find that it isn`t a problem.
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