Can't wait to go to uni and move out Watch

JubilationXXV
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I hate living with my family at the moment. I’m 18, and going to uni this year (possibly Middlesex), and I’m counting down the days till I can move out. I had a really close relationship with my parents until my elder sister screwed it all up by making it seem like I have a boyfriend (my parents are muslim, so they don’t want me to have one), except I don’t have one. I have male colleagues who text me sometimes, and the conversation on their end can get inappropriate but I don’t say anything that can provoke them. My sister takes my phone and shows my parents, and makes it seem like I’ve been seeing these guys (my parents aren’t very literate), and they always believe her, when she’s doing the stuff that she accuses me of and yet tries to seem li I’ve been sexually harassed at work, by 3 out of the 4 managers at Currys (I work for Dyson, in Currys) and to be quite frank I am pretty good at my job, I always reach my target, however because I have just started I was on my probation period and my manager (for Dyson) takes on the feedback about me from the managers at Currys. And the managers at Currys told my manager that I’m inappropriate at work so I got fired, when I haven’t done anything. So my parents were mad that I lost my job and they didn’t believe me when I told them that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I just didn’t want to appeal, because it would simply be my word against the managers (my sister wiped my phone). I just reallllllyyy cannot wait to leave home and go to uni and just do my own thing, I am so restricted and I feel like I go home to hell every day.
So I guess what I’m asking is whether or not time really does fly by.
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
I hate living with my family at the moment. I’m 18, and going to uni this year (possibly Middlesex), and I’m counting down the days till I can move out. I had a really close relationship with my parents until my elder sister screwed it all up by making it seem like I have a boyfriend (my parents are muslim, so they don’t want me to have one), except I don’t have one. I have male colleagues who text me sometimes, and the conversation on their end can get inappropriate but I don’t say anything that can provoke them. My sister takes my phone and shows my parents, and makes it seem like I’ve been seeing these guys (my parents aren’t very literate), and they always believe her, when she’s doing the stuff that she accuses me of and yet tries to seem li I’ve been sexually harassed at work, by 3 out of the 4 managers at Currys (I work for Dyson, in Currys) and to be quite frank I am pretty good at my job, I always reach my target, however because I have just started I was on my probation period and my manager (for Dyson) takes on the feedback about me from the managers at Currys. And the managers at Currys told my manager that I’m inappropriate at work so I got fired, when I haven’t done anything. So my parents were mad that I lost my job and they didn’t believe me when I told them that I didn’t do anything wrong, but I just didn’t want to appeal, because it would simply be my word against the managers (my sister wiped my phone). I just reallllllyyy cannot wait to leave home and go to uni and just do my own thing, I am so restricted and I feel like I go home to hell every day.
So I guess what I’m asking is whether or not time really does fly by.
Although not in the same circumstances as you I also can't wait to move out and have some more freedom. Didnt really feel like this until this year when all my friends moved out to uni (I took a year out) and simultaneously my mum started making me do lots of things and paying quite a bit of board. Good luck with moving out, I think for both of us some time away will be good
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by Neurosci)
Although not in the same circumstances as you I also can't wait to move out and have some more freedom. Didnt really feel like this until this year when all my friends moved out to uni (I took a year out) and simultaneously my mum started making me do lots of things and paying quite a bit of board. Good luck with moving out, I think for both of us some time away will be good
I know where my phone is, do you think I should take it back?
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robinfr
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im a muslim and my parents are the exact opposite to yours so im quite lucky. but im moving out next year, I know its hard being a muslim girl and we need our space. I think you should've appealed even if it was your word against the managers. and why does your sister have control over your phone?
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
I know where my phone is, do you think I should take it back?
I can't really answer that because it seems like you come from a completely different culture from me. Yours seems so much more strict than mine I honestly can't imagine being that restricted. Personally your phone is YOURS and no one else should be looking at it, this is an invasion of privacy in my eyes and is completely wrong. You should also be free to talk to whoever you want about whatever you want. All of these choices are yours to make, you are old enough now not to be dictated to by your parents/elders. however from what I read this sort of behavior is quite routine among muslim families, personally (and im sorry if this offends) but i thinks its completely disgusting and quite backwards.
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by Neurosci)
I can't really answer that because it seems like you come from a completely different culture from me. Yours seems so much more strict than mine I honestly can't imagine being that restricted. Personally your phone is YOURS and no one else should be looking at it, this is an invasion of privacy in my eyes and is completely wrong. You should also be free to talk to whoever you want about whatever you want. All of these choices are yours to make, you are old enough now not to be dictated to by your parents/elders. however from what I read this sort of behavior is quite routine among muslim families, personally (and im sorry if this offends) but i thinks its completely disgusting and quite backwards.
They are muslim...but I just don't really believe in any of the Islamic Teachings. I have 164 days until my exams finish...I start uni late September, I have no idea how in the hell I'm going to survive.
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by robinfr)
im a muslim and my parents are the exact opposite to yours so im quite lucky. but im moving out next year, I know its hard being a muslim girl and we need our space. I think you should've appealed even if it was your word against the managers. and why does your sister have control over your phone?
Ah, you're so lucky. I don't know why she does, she's a *****, she stirs **** up even more. I can't ****ing stand any of them, especially her.
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robinfr
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
Ah, you're so lucky. I don't know why she does, she's a *****, she stirs **** up even more. I can't ****ing stand any of them, especially her.
if you do leave will you come back and see your family or just call once in a blue moon (once in a blue moon for me)
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
They are muslim...but I just don't really believe in any of the Islamic Teachings. I have 164 days until my exams finish...I start uni late September, I have no idea how in the hell I'm going to survive.
To be honest im glad to hear that, its nice to see that some young people are starting to see how ludicrous some of the teachings of Islam are. You don't need religion to make you a moral person but it certainly can make you immoral as can be seen here by your family's somewhat oppressive behaviour.

Did you ever get your phone back and has this issue resolved itself?
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by Neurosci)
To be honest im glad to hear that, its nice to see that some young people are starting to see how ludicrous some of the teachings of Islam are. You don't need religion to make you a moral person but it certainly can make you immoral as can be seen here by your family's somewhat oppressive behaviour.

Did you ever get your phone back and has this issue resolved itself?
Nope, I know I can take it back, but if they find out that I have then some major **** would go down. I just find it ridiculous, like I'm 18 for god's sake, I buy everything with my own money, yet they still think they have control. I tried leaving home but they forced me to stay.
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by robinfr)
if you do leave will you come back and see your family or just call once in a blue moon (once in a blue moon for me)
I really want to see them once every few months at most, but my parents expect me to visit every weekend...the worst part is, is that I have an offer from Queen Marys, which I worked my ass off for, my parents always told me to get really good A Level grades to get into a good uni. But now that I have the offer, they're saying it's too far away (only about an hour and a half by train), and they're forcing me to go to Middlesex instead because it's only a 20 minute drive away, and I really don't want to go there.
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
Nope, I know I can take it back, but if they find out that I have then some major **** would go down. I just find it ridiculous, like I'm 18 for god's sake, I buy everything with my own money, yet they still think they have control. I tried leaving home but they forced me to stay.
Feel sorry for you but don't know what advice I can give

At least you can look forward to uni, where and what are you studying
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by Neurosci)
Feel sorry for you but don't know what advice I can give

At least you can look forward to uni, where and what are you studying
I want to do Neuroscience, and I got an offer from Queen Marys which is perfect because I really want to go there. My parents have made me work like crazy to get good grades and now that I have an offer, they're saying they don't want me to go there because it's too far away (only about 1 and a half hours by train), and would rather me go to Middlesex because it's much closer (20 minutes by car). Middlesex isn't exactly the greatest uni...and it's annoying me because everything I worked hard for is essentially futile now.
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robinfr
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
I really want to see them once every few months at most, but my parents expect me to visit every weekend...the worst part is, is that I have an offer from Queen Marys, which I worked my ass off for, my parents always told me to get really good A Level grades to get into a good uni. But now that I have the offer, they're saying it's too far away (only about an hour and a half by train), and they're forcing me to go to Middlesex instead because it's only a 20 minute drive away, and I really don't want to go there.
what my brother did was just went to London even though my parents didn't agree with it I plan on doing the same not London we all want to go to Oxbridge lol but yeah just do that leave one day and then call them when you get there im just lucky im moving out when im 17 (if my parents gave a sh*t about the law) theyd know that im not allowed but its not like im going to tell them.
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by robinfr)
what my brother did was just went to London even though my parents didn't agree with it I plan on doing the same not London we all want to go to Oxbridge lol but yeah just do that leave one day and then call them when you get there im just lucky im moving out when im 17 (if my parents gave a sh*t about the law) theyd know that im not allowed but its not like im going to tell them.
If I do that, my mother would literally call Queen Marys and pretend like she's calling on behalf of me to tell them that I no longer want to continue at Queen Marys, that's how crazy she is.
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
I want to do Neuroscience, and I got an offer from Queen Marys which is perfect because I really want to go there. My parents have made me work like crazy to get good grades and now that I have an offer, they're saying they don't want me to go there because it's too far away (only about 1 and a half hours by train), and would rather me go to Middlesex because it's much closer (20 minutes by car). Middlesex isn't exactly the greatest uni...and it's annoying me because everything I worked hard for is essentially futile now.
Wow what a coincidence im doing neuroscience too! Yeah Queen Marys is definitely better than Middlesex, have you explained this to your parents, if they don't let you go there they're mad. Explain that lots of people move far away from home (my top 2 offers are both 4 hrs away on a train)
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JubilationXXV
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(Original post by Neurosci)
Wow what a coincidence im doing neuroscience too! Yeah Queen Marys is definitely better than Middlesex, have you explained this to your parents, if they don't let you go there they're mad. Explain that lots of people move far away from home (my top 2 offers are both 4 hrs away on a train)
I have but now they've changed their tune and are saying 'It doesn't matter which uni you go to, as long as you get a degree in the end', when a year a go they were making me study like crazy to get into a Russell Group. When they think they're right, they won't changed their mind.

Which unis are they?
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robinfr
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
If I do that, my mother would literally call Queen Marys and pretend like she's calling on behalf of me to tell them that I no longer want to continue at Queen Marys, that's how crazy she is.
go to queen marys and they'll ask you if you want to discontinue then say no your mothers ill and she forgets things
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Neurosci
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(Original post by JubilationXXV)
I have but now they've changed their tune and are saying 'It doesn't matter which uni you go to, as long as you get a degree in the end', when a year a go they were making me study like crazy to get into a Russell Group. When they think they're right, they won't changed their mind.

Which unis are they?
To be honest your family seems nuts, like clinically nuts, I can't believe you have to go through all this ****.......

I live in the north of england and my top choices are KCL, Edinburgh and Glasgow
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ikhan94
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Sorry to hear about your situation, listen t the end of the day your parents love you and because they're muslim their more strict, so tell them the truth im sure they will come around to it.
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