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I'm a girl. I like girls. I'm a "Muslim" and Asian. What to do? Watch

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    (Original post by Josb)
    It's 'you', not 'u'.
    F u
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    thuy shesh
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    OP just want to say that I'm here for you if you need to share anything. I know it can be very depressive. Feel free to pm me. Dw I won't judge you nor will I expose your identity.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *cue muslims saying "astaghfirullah"*

    Yep, you read the title right.

    I like girls. I like their hair. I like the way they smell. I like that they're soft. I like that I can connect with a girl far more intensely and quicker than I do with a male.

    I've always liked girls. It's always been like that. When I was a child, I'd never see the hype with boys when my female friends would be getting boyfriends. Even through my teenage years, I'd never have crushes on boys - on girls though, YESSSSssSss.

    Right, enough about girls. Let's move onto me, as a person.

    I am a female adult who was born and raised in an Asian AND Muslim household. Both identities are notorious to shun out anyone part of the LGBT community.
    I'm not a practicing Muslim. I don't believe in a God. Yet I don't drink nor eat pork. I even eat Halal food. Maybe there's a part of me that's super scared that there is a God. Anyways that's another forum topic.

    I don't believe in a God because why would he/she make me the way I am? Why would he bring me into a world where people will reject me and think I'm disgusting for merely just loving another human being?

    And for those who think "you chose to like girls". Um, no. I didn't wake up one day and think "Hmmmmm YESSSS I'm going to go against my religion and my ethnic background and fancy girls. Just for the #baNTZ!!!". Oh no no no. I didn't chose to be like this.

    I;ve never been in a relationship with a girl, not been with one sexually. I lust after both these things. But I have a feeling that I'll never be able to do so. Even if an opportunity came, I would feel guilty.

    Being from an Asian background and Muslim background, marriage is a big deal. I'm in my 20s. I'm finishing up my studies. This is the prime time for girls and boys of my background(s) to get married. Marriage is such an important thing in Islam and in all South Asian communities.

    So marriage is traditionally between a man and woman (god said adam and eve not adam and steve, am i right ?!?!), and guess what, I don't like men in that way. I've tried to invest myself with a man. I can't connect with a man on an emotional level. The though of their genitals does not make me aroused. How on earth can I get married to one? If I don't get married, I'm a failure. If I come out, I will be shunned by my family and the Asian and Islamic community.

    Sooooo, I'm pretty much f*cked. Let's be real, I'm not coming out any time soon to my family or friends.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to get married. I don't want to ask "God" for forgiveness. I simply do not believe in him/her.

    If you're a Muslim and reading this, do not pray for me. Don't make dua for me. There's nothing wrong with me.
    I'm a female middle eastern Muslim and I'm not gonna pray for you to get cured, but I'll pray for you in how the Asian and Muslim community act because they are very slow to keep up with times, they are very narrow-minded people however due to the world around us I am sure it son will be common and people will become more accepting in the society. I suggest you tell your family your not ready for that kind of commitment and when you feel ready or when islam is ready tell the world how you feel.
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    'do that thing' lol.
    You can move out sure. Live as most white british people do. However, you've been brought up so differently you likely won't fit in.
    What about the OP's upbringing would not allow her to fit in? please elaborate.

    I'm an indian male that lives with a Filipino woman and a Goan man, yet we're all surviving and living happily at 21 years of age with no problems. Have I just proved your 'not fitting in' rule completely incorrect?
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    OP, I'm a muslim asian guy, but not really that religious, I believe in god but don't really follow the whole religion stuff too closely, so I have a bit of an inkling on your idea of religion.
    I grew up in a massively homophobic area and saw a close friend struggle to come out to anyone but me (not even our friends circle) because of how bad it was. He recently came out to our circle of friends to overwhelming support from everyone, something he didn't expect! I now live with a gay man and I sat with him coming out to family and given him all the support I could give. Just showing you that not all of us asians are stuck in the backwards culture, we're very slowly moving forwards, so there's some hope that you can have the asian culture and be accepting of other people's sexuality and genders

    Here's a question for you, have you come out to your friends yet? My friends have found having someone that they can talk to in person really helpful.

    If you want to talk but would rather PM me, go for it!
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    (Original post by LtNoddy)
    What about the OP's upbringing would not allow her to fit in? please elaborate.

    I'm an indian male that lives with a Filipino woman and a Goan man, yet we're all surviving and living happily at 21 years of age with no problems. Have I just proved your 'not fitting in' rule completely incorrect?
    I can't speak for her. But I wouldn't be able to fully integrate. I would much prefer living with my family..
    • #6
    #6

    if you don't believe in god then how are you a muslim?
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    There's always a what if. Say I said I had the original Qur'an. Then plant.. Clown may ask what if it isn't.
    At some point you do have to take a leap of faith.
    They have been recorded and kept in many books. There are some that are weaker than others, however I'm not learnt enough to tell you which ones are, and are not authentic.
    So you are admitting that you don't actually know if the Qur'an has been changed or not because you don't have the original.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    So you are admitting that you don't actually know if the Qur'an has been changed or not because you don't have the original.
    I believe it hasn't. Millions people have memorized the Qur'an since it first came down. I know two of my friends that know it from the first letter to the last. They read each chapter EXACTLY the same. But obviously this still doesn't prove that it hasn't been changed in the past.

    However, you can purchase ANY Qur'an in the world and it will be identical. If that doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does..
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    I believe it hasn't. Millions people have memorized the Qur'an since it first came down. I know two of my friends that know it from the first letter to the last. They read each chapter EXACTLY the same. But obviously this still doesn't prove that it hasn't been changed in the past.

    However, you can purchase ANY Qur'an in the world and it will be identical. If that doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does..
    How do all current Qur'ans being identical (which by the way, they aren't. There are slight variations in wording from version to version) prove that the original was the same? It is a non-sequitur.
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    However, you can purchase ANY Qur'an in the world and it will be identical. If that doesn't speak volumes I don't know what does..
    Here are 12 documented textual variants of Surah 2 verse 106 in the Quran. Keep in mind this is one single verse.

    http://i.imgur.com/ipyK25X.png
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    How do all current Qur'ans being identical (which by the way, they aren't. There are slight variations in wording from version to version) prove that the original was the same? It is a non-sequitur.
    (Original post by The Epicurean)
    Here are 12 documented textual variants of Surah 2 verse 106 in the Quran. Keep in mind this is one single verse.

    http://i.imgur.com/ipyK25X.png
    These are very small differences . Doing a bit of research I found there are actually variants in the actual Qur'an, however I think they convey similar meanings. I apologise for my statement above where I said they are all Identical. I am ignorant in the matter and I wouldn't like to tell you false information. I had just always thought that.

    I found a good article here that you may want to read.
    http://submission.org/verify_preserv...ing_Quran.html
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    (Original post by Adeel Ali)
    These are very small differences
    The variant readings of 2:106 can introduce some interesting differences. The one that you will often see written in modern Quran's is "nunsihā" which translates to "cause it to be forgotten". Tthe alternative reading of "nunsi-hā" which according to the English translation of Tafsir al-Qurtubi Volume 1 means "to defer". This could give rise to an alternative reading of abrogation. This could imply that the Medinan verses that abrogate earlier Meccan verses, is only a temporary abrogation, and that the Meccan verses are "deferred" to a later date.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *cue muslims saying "astaghfirullah"*

    Yep, you read the title right.

    I like girls. I like their hair. I like the way they smell. I like that they're soft. I like that I can connect with a girl far more intensely and quicker than I do with a male.

    I've always liked girls. It's always been like that. When I was a child, I'd never see the hype with boys when my female friends would be getting boyfriends. Even through my teenage years, I'd never have crushes on boys - on girls though, YESSSSssSss.

    Right, enough about girls. Let's move onto me, as a person.

    I am a female adult who was born and raised in an Asian AND Muslim household. Both identities are notorious to shun out anyone part of the LGBT community.
    I'm not a practicing Muslim. I don't believe in a God. Yet I don't drink nor eat pork. I even eat Halal food. Maybe there's a part of me that's super scared that there is a God. Anyways that's another forum topic.

    I don't believe in a God because why would he/she make me the way I am? Why would he bring me into a world where people will reject me and think I'm disgusting for merely just loving another human being?

    And for those who think "you chose to like girls". Um, no. I didn't wake up one day and think "Hmmmmm YESSSS I'm going to go against my religion and my ethnic background and fancy girls. Just for the #baNTZ!!!". Oh no no no. I didn't chose to be like this.

    I;ve never been in a relationship with a girl, not been with one sexually. I lust after both these things. But I have a feeling that I'll never be able to do so. Even if an opportunity came, I would feel guilty.

    Being from an Asian background and Muslim background, marriage is a big deal. I'm in my 20s. I'm finishing up my studies. This is the prime time for girls and boys of my background(s) to get married. Marriage is such an important thing in Islam and in all South Asian communities.

    So marriage is traditionally between a man and woman (god said adam and eve not adam and steve, am i right ?!?!), and guess what, I don't like men in that way. I've tried to invest myself with a man. I can't connect with a man on an emotional level. The though of their genitals does not make me aroused. How on earth can I get married to one? If I don't get married, I'm a failure. If I come out, I will be shunned by my family and the Asian and Islamic community.

    Sooooo, I'm pretty much f*cked. Let's be real, I'm not coming out any time soon to my family or friends.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to get married. I don't want to ask "God" for forgiveness. I simply do not believe in him/her.

    If you're a Muslim and reading this, do not pray for me. Don't make dua for me. There's nothing wrong with me.

    I'm in the same situation :/ I'm 18 and I'm a gay Asian girl I understand and it's so difficult. But I don't believe in God (of course my parents don't know this) but it makes things a lot better for me personally. I think the worst thing is the whole society we live in and is traditional aspects; because of this we sort of grow up thinking there is something wrong with us and it's completely wrong. I came out to my best friend a few months ago and she a firm believer in God and it was absolutely horrible; she just sort of started crying and told me how I'm making my way to hell and not to mention how she kept asking who had "turned me" gay. I think these sort of reactions are the worst; and we're gonna have to expect more of these.

    Whether my parents stay in touch with me or not; I'm going to get married to a girl and stay happy and live a life where I can feel free and no longer restricted; because if I don't do this for myself I'm just going to live a life in agony and I really don't deserve that. Of course they're going to be upset, my mother is really homophobic, and a few of my cousins have started hinting at me, but to be honest, just do things for yourself for once. I know it doesn't seem like the best answer, but honestly if you get married to a man you're really going to regret it, because you also deserve to be happy .

    I know the marriage thing is going to come up with me soon lol; so I'm waiting to start uni and then I'm just going to run away

    Feel free to dm me if you want to speak further.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    *cue muslims saying "astaghfirullah"*

    Yep, you read the title right.

    I like girls. I like their hair. I like the way they smell. I like that they're soft. I like that I can connect with a girl far more intensely and quicker than I do with a male.

    I've always liked girls. It's always been like that. When I was a child, I'd never see the hype with boys when my female friends would be getting boyfriends. Even through my teenage years, I'd never have crushes on boys - on girls though, YESSSSssSss.

    Right, enough about girls. Let's move onto me, as a person.

    I am a female adult who was born and raised in an Asian AND Muslim household. Both identities are notorious to shun out anyone part of the LGBT community.
    I'm not a practicing Muslim. I don't believe in a God. Yet I don't drink nor eat pork. I even eat Halal food. Maybe there's a part of me that's super scared that there is a God. Anyways that's another forum topic.

    I don't believe in a God because why would he/she make me the way I am? Why would he bring me into a world where people will reject me and think I'm disgusting for merely just loving another human being?

    And for those who think "you chose to like girls". Um, no. I didn't wake up one day and think "Hmmmmm YESSSS I'm going to go against my religion and my ethnic background and fancy girls. Just for the #baNTZ!!!". Oh no no no. I didn't chose to be like this.

    I;ve never been in a relationship with a girl, not been with one sexually. I lust after both these things. But I have a feeling that I'll never be able to do so. Even if an opportunity came, I would feel guilty.

    Being from an Asian background and Muslim background, marriage is a big deal. I'm in my 20s. I'm finishing up my studies. This is the prime time for girls and boys of my background(s) to get married. Marriage is such an important thing in Islam and in all South Asian communities.

    So marriage is traditionally between a man and woman (god said adam and eve not adam and steve, am i right ?!?!), and guess what, I don't like men in that way. I've tried to invest myself with a man. I can't connect with a man on an emotional level. The though of their genitals does not make me aroused. How on earth can I get married to one? If I don't get married, I'm a failure. If I come out, I will be shunned by my family and the Asian and Islamic community.

    Sooooo, I'm pretty much f*cked. Let's be real, I'm not coming out any time soon to my family or friends.

    I don't know what to do. I don't want to get married. I don't want to ask "God" for forgiveness. I simply do not believe in him/her.

    If you're a Muslim and reading this, do not pray for me. Don't make dua for me. There's nothing wrong with me.
    Honestly, just do what you want to do; don't ask Asian people for advice because honesty a majority are traditional minded. Just don't date an Asian girl if you do come out though; they're annoying, chalak and will most likely still get married even if they're gay.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by murakamami)
    I'm in the same situation :/ I'm 18 and I'm a gay Asian girl I understand and it's so difficult. But I don't believe in God (of course my parents don't know this) but it makes things a lot better for me personally. I think the worst thing is the whole society we live in and is traditional aspects; because of this we sort of grow up thinking there is something wrong with us and it's completely wrong. I came out to my best friend a few months ago and she a firm believer in God and it was absolutely horrible; she just sort of started crying and told me how I'm making my way to hell and not to mention how she kept asking who had "turned me" gay. I think these sort of reactions are the worst; and we're gonna have to expect more of these.

    Whether my parents stay in touch with me or not; I'm going to get married to a girl and stay happy and live a life where I can feel free and no longer restricted; because if I don't do this for myself I'm just going to live a life in agony and I really don't deserve that. Of course they're going to be upset, my mother is really homophobic, and a few of my cousins have started hinting at me, but to be honest, just do things for yourself for once. I know it doesn't seem like the best answer, but honestly if you get married to a man you're really going to regret it, because you also deserve to be happy .

    I know the marriage thing is going to come up with me soon lol; so I'm waiting to start uni and then I'm just going to run away

    Feel free to dm me if you want to speak further.
    Hello fellow brown gay! I'm glad to know that I'm not alone!

    I admire that you've come out to someone. Even though they reacted in a negative way, you've got mega strength to tell someone, so proud of you boo! I'm still wayyyyyyyyy in the closet and haven't told anyone.

    I'm just going to start living my life once I'm graduated and got a proper job. Hopefully that shall be in the next two years or so.

    Hope everything goes well with you! Thank you for commenting. It really makes me happy that there are people like me and in a similar situation to mine.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by murakamami)
    Honestly, just do what you want to do; don't ask Asian people for advice because honesty a majority are traditional minded. Just don't date an Asian girl if you do come out though; they're annoying, chalak and will most likely still get married even if they're gay.
    Asian girls scare me (myself included)

    Deepika Padukune is fire tho.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Asian girls scare me (myself included)

    Deepika Padukune is fire tho.
    Lol yeah they are scary. But I also find them a lot difficult to talk to in terms of being gay; they just sort of look at you weird and pretend they won't judge when they do. I have a deep hatred for Asian girls; mostly because at my college some girls have found it funny to shout "dyke" at me whilst walking past and snigger; so I've sort of become some sort of freakish celebrity .

    I hope all goes well for you; and if you can; if there is anyone that you deeply trust, try coming out to them, maybe it will make things much easier for you. It would be a great step to take only if you feel you can trust someone with that. I hope you get to be happy one day; but please don't let our backwards society or family stop you from being who you are and what life you want to have .
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by murakamami)
    Lol yeah they are scary. But I also find them a lot difficult to talk to in terms of being gay; they just sort of look at you weird and pretend they won't judge when they do. I have a deep hatred for Asian girls; mostly because at my college some girls have found it funny to shout "dyke" at me whilst walking past and snigger; so I've sort of become some sort of freakish celebrity .

    I hope all goes well for you; and if you can; if there is anyone that you deeply trust, try coming out to them, maybe it will make things much easier for you. It would be a great step to take only if you feel you can trust someone with that. I hope you get to be happy one day; but please don't let our backwards society or family stop you from being who you are and what life you want to have .
    Oh man that's terrible! The majority of Asians that I've come across have been super homophobic. Even if they seem liberal, I'm always skeptical.

    I'll come out to close friends once I've got a feel on their attitudes towards the LGBT community. This has never really come up in conversation, so I wouldn't know how they would react.

    Thank you for the kind and encouraging words
 
 
 
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