The Student Room Group

Are extroverts attracted to introverts?

Scroll to see replies

I'm pretty much ambivert so could do either as long as we get on and they are not boring!
Reply 21
Original post by Gavin2016
Relationship wise perhaps easier if both are of the same personality type. However, it can be that opposite personality types attract. So you could have two extrovert clubber types that are into the same scene and are the gender other half of each other but not attracted to each other. Myself I'm introvert but often seem to get chemistry with more extrovert girls. This is real difficult as often the girl though attracted tends to pass over me as it is assumed (perhaps correctly) that I would not fit in with her worlds/friends. I understand this but its still sucks and who knows until you try perhaps.

I think its far easier for introverted girls to get with extroverted guys as girls are often thought to naturally be more quiet, its more accepted. Girls tend to get let of more than guys if they aren't quite this or that- the tick box exercise that girls use on guys is not what guys tend to do.Guys will often explain away a bit of poor social skills or objectionable action/position, girls often won't it will be a bone for contention. Not to say dating an opposite as a girl is easy, you'll have the girls wants to sit at home in the evenings watching endless soaps, guy will get tired of it and want to go out with his mates to the pub, girl will moan about it - split up on the cards. However, if your both introvert high chance any children you have may be, ok if born a girls but born a guy - you don't get let off so easy, forming relationships is difficult for introverted guys.



I think girls might think you're not attracted to them since you are introverted, and are therefore less likely to talk to you or ask you out. Do you think for the long term, you won't get sick of going out all the time? and would rather be at home? I mean if you are with an extroverted girl.

Some guys might also think that introverted girls are boring and less adventurous though. I don't know, I feel like extroverted guys would want to go out with the girl all the time and introduce them to their friends.

Thank you for your very long thoughtful response haha :tongue: :smile:
I'm an introvert but I think I'd be better off with an extravert since, well, one of us has to do the talking.
Original post by Mona-S
I think girls might think you're not attracted to them since you are introverted, and are therefore less likely to talk to you or ask you out. Do you think for the long term, you won't get sick of going out all the time? and would rather be at home? I mean if you are with an extroverted girl.

Some guys might also think that introverted girls are boring and less adventurous though. I don't know, I feel like extroverted guys would want to go out with the girl all the time and introduce them to their friends.

Thank you for your very long thoughtful response haha :tongue: :smile:


Shows I'm Introverted, lol.

Possibly the above may be the case, its king of annoying when even more extrovert girls sit back and expect the guy to do it all, initiate convo, etc. Though I've even heard that some extrovert girls have difficulty approaching guys they fancy, they get all embarrassed even though usually with everyone else there fine - so they can never get it together enough to approach the guy even though they are extroverted. I think going out with an extroverted girl would probably tire me out a lot unfortunately, wouldn't mind trying though. Possibly in warmer climates easier as going out on a cold raining night is not exactly enticing.

I get the impression that a lot of introverted girls get the idea that if they get an extroverted guy then they will be moving in their circles and become party girls which I think is desirable to many. However, I think they are often misled with this and it doesn't really occur as hoped. Guy just goes out with friends as she does not fit in or enjoy well enough, guy uses girl for sex, short relationships, etc. End result being girl passing over more suitable men that are introverted.
Reply 24
Original post by The Socktor
I'm an introvert but I think I'd be better off with an extravert since, well, one of us has to do the talking.


hahhaha your comment made me laugh. :tongue:
Reply 25
Original post by Mona-S
Are they? :smile:

I am an introvert and would rather be with someone who is also introverted.


I'm introvert you can be with me , haha joking, :wink:
Even though opposites attract and all but I doubt it to be honest.
Reply 27
Original post by Gavin2016
Shows I'm Introverted, lol.

Possibly the above may be the case, its king of annoying when even more extrovert girls sit back and expect the guy to do it all, initiate convo, etc. Though I've even heard that some extrovert girls have difficulty approaching guys they fancy, they get all embarrassed even though usually with everyone else there fine - so they can never get it together enough to approach the guy even though they are extroverted. I think going out with an extroverted girl would probably tire me out a lot unfortunately, wouldn't mind trying though. Possibly in warmer climates easier as going out on a cold raining night is not exactly enticing.

I get the impression that a lot of introverted girls get the idea that if they get an extroverted guy then they will be moving in their circles and become party girls which I think is desirable to many. However, I think they are often misled with this and it doesn't really occur as hoped. Guy just goes out with friends as she does not fit in or enjoy well enough, guy uses girl for sex, short relationships, etc. End result being girl passing over more suitable men that are introverted.


hmm I think most girls, extroverts and introverts, expect the guy to do the talking, even though this is slowly starting to change. I don't know if I ever would go up to a guy and ask him, just because I never know if a guy is being nice or if he does actually like me.
Do you attend university? You can always find many girls there that are extroverted and will probably go out most days.
Yes I agree with you, I think extroverted guys are more likely to cheat on a girl who is very introverted, am not saying all guys will cheat, but as the girl is less likely to want to go out and have fun.
I am more attracted to introverted guys, just because they seem more interesting to me, and I would rather watch a movie than go out with a bunch of people.
I'd prefer an introvert (I'm an introvert). I usually get bored if people talk too much and I switch off. Having short meaningful conversations is my preference. I can't deal with people talking for ages. I only listen to the start, then i end up daydreaming.
So yeah an introvert for me.
Also when people get to know me, I find it easier to open up and talk to them.
Reply 29
I'm introverted and also prefer other introverts :h:
they can be
Original post by Mona-S

I am more attracted to introverted guys, just because they seem more interesting to me, and I would rather watch a movie than go out with a bunch of people.


Tends to be the way I am, its not that I mind people I'm just not good at social interaction, more so with people I don't know well so can feel out on a limb and not enjoy it as much as a movie. I can get a bit hung over if people talk a lot, think I subconsciously at least follow it all and get tired.

I guess my father was somewhat towards the extrovert, not out and out extrovert but far more so than my mother who is what I would think of as an extreme introvert. He used to say about her that she's no fun, lol as she does crosswords, researches family history, watches documentary or local/historical interest programmes, also a lot of gardening, not much of a socializer at all. So for an extrovert I guess much stuff towards that direction is seen as pretty boring way to live/spend your free time.
Sometimes, opposites attract

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 33
I'm an introvert and I prefer to be an relationship with an introvert . I feel like extroverts are way out of my zone . I guess at the end of the day it depends on the person so i shouldn't generalise that all extroverts are way out of my zone :smile:
I can't resist threads about introversion/extroversion (I recommend the book 'Quiet' by Susan Cain to all introverts or to the extroverts who wonder what is up with us).

A couple of points:

1) introverted shy.
2) extroverted confident
3) You often get shy extroverts and confident introverts. Crazy, I know, but hear me out!

- All that 'extroverted' means is that you draw energy from social interactions. After a tough day at work extroverts don't want to sit alone in a boring room. They can't wait to hang out with a large group and blow off some steam, probably in a busy environment like a bar or club. This is because the nervous system craves extra stimulation.

- All that 'introverted' means is you gain more energy from periods of quiet reflection. After the same tough day, the idea of a big group exhausts them. They'd MUCH rather chill out alone, or with a couple of close friends/family, in a quiet, calm environment. Apparently this is due to the nervous system being more easily stimulated.

- Confidence is unrelated to intro/extroversion. You can be totally confident in your abilities, able to speak to different people and voice your opinions without fear and believe in yourself fully. But at the end of the day, you hate the idea of a party and you'd rather relax with a good book. You're a confident introvert.

-Shyness is also unrelated to extro/introversion. It just means a fear of social judgement. Those people questioning why some extroverted girls don't ask men out? It could just be that although she loves to relax by spending time in big groups, busy bars/clubs, she fears the negative judgement of others if she asks you out and is rejected (in our culture the expected roles of men/women have a definite part to play in this). Barbara Streisand (who got severe stage fright) is an example of a shy extrovert.

-Introverted men ARE attractive to women. The famous Mr Darcy from Pride and Prejudice (who women the world over swoon about) is a classic example of an introvert. Actually, he is a shy introvert, the double whammy, which is why he comes across as so utterly awkward when Elizabeth first meets him at a party. He doesn't boast about his good qualities but these become apparent over time as Elizabeth completely falls for him.

Do introverts/extroverts mix well romantically? I am an introvert and my longest relationship (8 years) was with an extrovert. It was a complete opposites attract situation and very intense at first. I loved his funny, outgoing energy, he found me calming and a bit mysterious at first I think. Over time, as we moved in together, however, it became very stressful. He really couldn't understand why I'd rather stay in with a book/film than go to a party. I always wanted to go home from the pub before him. And so on. I think other couples do make it work, but you have to be very understanding of the differences.

I have recently been dating another introvert and I find spending time with him so much more relaxing. We understand each other a lot more and don't have to explain our little quirks. From the outside I think we must seem like boring couch potatoes, but we get each other. It's really nice!
Used to be an introvert then became really extroverted, dated (and loved) an introvert, she turned into an extrovert and she lost her anxiety, and I turned into an introvert.

God this is complicated
Reply 36
Original post by Gavin2016
Tends to be the way I am, its not that I mind people I'm just not good at social interaction, more so with people I don't know well so can feel out on a limb and not enjoy it as much as a movie. I can get a bit hung over if people talk a lot, think I subconsciously at least follow it all and get tired.

I guess my father was somewhat towards the extrovert, not out and out extrovert but far more so than my mother who is what I would think of as an extreme introvert. He used to say about her that she's no fun, lol as she does crosswords, researches family history, watches documentary or local/historical interest programmes, also a lot of gardening, not much of a socializer at all. So for an extrovert I guess much stuff towards that direction is seen as pretty boring way to live/spend your free time.


Yes I do agree with you. I do like going out with close friends and having fun, but I don't think I'll be able to do that everyday, with people am not close to.

Aww haha your mother sounds adorable, but I think she's a bit too much of an introvert haha. He must have wanted her to go out with him more often, but good to know that even though they are opposite they still got along. :tongue:
I'm an introvert and my boyfriend is an extrovert.

If anything it really helps me to overcome my shyness. He does all the talking and then I don't feel as bad for not talking :P
Original post by LadyEcliptic
I'm an introvert and my boyfriend is an extrovert.

If anything it really helps me to overcome my shyness. He does all the talking and then I don't feel as bad for not talking :P


The dynamic works until the introvert decides they want to try being the extrovert for once, I dated an exceptionally shy girl (she literally never talked), months later she went to the pub more than me lol.
Reply 39
Original post by Das Ich Man
Used to be an introvert then became really extroverted, dated (and loved) an introvert, she turned into an extrovert and she lost her anxiety, and I turned into an introvert.

God this is complicated


Do you think she turned into an extrovert because of you?
I don't think you can really turn and switch from an introvert to an extrovert and visa versa. I think that might have been your confidence or your self esteem.

Are you still together?

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending