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Mending broken relationship with my parents

OK, I didn't come here for judgement, just a bit of advice. But I do know that the situation was my fault and that it has been eating away at my relationship with my parents ever since. :frown:

At the beginning of last month I was admitted to hospital (kind of against my wishes) with a potentially life threatening illness - though not one that it is possible to give yourself so I feel that I won't be coming across as encouraging suicide by stating this, I just want to explain the situation as well as I can. I refused treatment for a few hours and this started a huge arguement between me and my parents. We still haven't recovered from events of that night and our relationship is really suffering at a time when I need all the help I can get. :frown:

Neither of us have yet been able to understand the other person's perspective and we are all really angry with each other as a result :mad:

. I know that I am the one who has to make the first move but I do not yet feel ready to do that (and probably won't until I have overcome my depression). The tension that I have caused that night between my parents and me is really affecting my mood for the worse :frown:

. I know I need to resolve it sooner rather than later but I really am nowhere near the stage where I can forgive my parents for what they did that night, despite it being the right thing. :frown:

I wrote a letter explaining the situation to my parents the other night but do not feel comfortable sending it home as I believe that most of what I was writing was too dishonest. I know that my parents were in the right but I do not believe that they were.

What I want to ask is have I caused irreparable damage to my relationship with my parents by my actions that night or are they just having as much difficulty coming to terms with what happened as I am? Should I send the letter, despite not believing what I wrote, or should I wait until I do believe the stuff I wrote? Is it even likely to have a positive effect on our relationship - they always try and change the subject of the conversation when I try and explain how I feel about events that night. :frown:

Sorry this was such a long post, but thank you for reading.

Reply 1

Crazster

16

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

OK, I didn't come here for judgement, just a bit of advice. But I do know that the situation was my fault and that it has been eating away at my relationship with my parents ever since. :frown:

At the beginning of last month I was admitted to hospital (kind of against my wishes) with a potentially life threatening illness - though not one that it is possible to give yourself so I feel that I won't be coming across as encouraging suicide by stating this, I just want to explain the situation as well as I can. I refused treatment for a few hours and this started a huge arguement between me and my parents. We still haven't recovered from events of that night and our relationship is really suffering at a time when I need all the help I can get. :frown:

Neither of us have yet been able to understand the other person's perspective and we are all really angry with each other as a result :mad:

. I know that I am the one who has to make the first move but I do not yet feel ready to do that (and probably won't until I have overcome my depression). The tension that I have caused that night between my parents and me is really affecting my mood for the worse :frown:

. I know I need to resolve it sooner rather than later but I really am nowhere near the stage where I can forgive my parents for what they did that night, despite it being the right thing. :frown:

I wrote a letter explaining the situation to my parents the other night but do not feel comfortable sending it home as I believe that most of what I was writing was too dishonest. I know that my parents were in the right but I do not believe that they were.

What I want to ask is have I caused irreparable damage to my relationship with my parents by my actions that night or are they just having as much difficulty coming to terms with what happened as I am? Should I send the letter, despite not believing what I wrote, or should I wait until I do believe the stuff I wrote? Is it even likely to have a positive effect on our relationship - they always try and change the subject of the conversation when I try and explain how I feel about events that night. :frown:

Sorry this was such a long post, but thank you for reading.

You know they are right, and you won't overcome your feelings to admit it?

Reply 2

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

OP

9

Crazster

You know they are right, and you won't overcome your feelings to admit it?

That's kind of how it is but put very simply. I'm not always rational and I've very rarely got much will to live but on the occasions when I am rational then I can see that they did the right thing, no matter how much I disagree. I hope that explains it better.

Reply 3

Crazster

16

Then overcome your feelings, but find a reason to live.

Reply 4

randomgirl

14

You just need to write and POST the letter when you are in a "rational" mood. So that you won't stop yourself from sending it?

Reply 5

sidi

1

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

I'm not always rational and I've very rarely got much will to live but on the occasions when I am rational then I can see that they did the right thing, no matter how much I disagree.QUOTE]

Why don't you just write and tell them this? No need to write a lot. Just a note acknowledging what happened will suffice at the moment. Then the building bridges can start properly when you feel up to it. I think the important thing at the moment is that they do hear something from you.

Mending broken relationship with my parents

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