Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Self destruction/ Depression and Anxiety... Dunno what to do anymore Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I guess this post is going to be more of a cry for help for more then anything. Last month, I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and instead of getting better, I feel even worse and feel really worse about myself.

    I know its my own fault. I'm in a vicious cycle of drinking > doing stupid mistakes >feeling ashamed > drinking to make myself feel better.. But now I am pretty sure I have lost someone who means alot to me from my life because of how I keep being... I genuinely feel like atm, the best thing for me is to not be alive... But I cant seem to break out the cycle...

    I had 3 weeks off work and recently returned but already I am starting to skip work again because I cannot be arsed to get out of bed and go to it. I have no motivation to do anything at all... Even my flat mate aint happy with me either since I don't help around the flat... but that's because I find it hard to find the motivation to do anything.

    I guess I just want to know... is there anyway I can stop being self destructive?? I have to admit, I have probably lost alot of people from my life because of how I have acted or have been... Does it get better then this? because writing a post on tsr, while crying your eyes out, is one of the lowest points of my life...
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess this post is going to be more of a cry for help for more then anything. Last month, I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and instead of getting better, I feel even worse and feel really worse about myself.

    I know its my own fault. I'm in a vicious cycle of drinking > doing stupid mistakes >feeling ashamed > drinking to make myself feel better.. But now I am pretty sure I have lost someone who means alot to me from my life because of how I keep being... I genuinely feel like atm, the best thing for me is to not be alive... But I cant seem to break out the cycle...

    I had 3 weeks off work and recently returned but already I am starting to skip work again because I cannot be arsed to get out of bed and go to it. I have no motivation to do anything at all... Even my flat mate aint happy with me either since I don't help around the flat... but that's because I find it hard to find the motivation to do anything.

    I guess I just want to know... is there anyway I can stop being self destructive?? I have to admit, I have probably lost alot of people from my life because of how I have acted or have been... Does it get better then this? because writing a post on tsr, while crying your eyes out, is one of the lowest points of my life...
    I don't know how much this will help, i'm not even a psychologist, but I think isolating yourself makes it worse, you can even see yourself that more drinking is not the solution and it isnt making you any better or happier. tell yourself that today is the day you will do something differently even if it is the tiniest weakest smallest attempt you can make its still a step, forget about the damage that you might be blaming yourself for, get those bottles of alcahol and negativity and literally throw them away! think about the pain and sadness that is holding you down in the morning, get up. Dont let it control you or overshadow you, put a smile on your face even if its so weak, even if you feel pathetic for trying- let it out cry your eyes out, let it go. stand up, do the smallest thing that makes you happy, go for a little walk in the park. sit on the grass breathe the air and feel peace, let go of every worry for just a few moments. when you feel the slightest negative thought creeping in, tell it to shutup, literally give it the middle finger. remember the last time you laughed from the heart, do something that makes you the slightest bit happy. you have a wonderful and good heart, dont let anything hold you down. of course its not easy, but start now and never look back
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess this post is going to be more of a cry for help for more then anything. Last month, I finally got diagnosed with depression and anxiety and instead of getting better, I feel even worse and feel really worse about myself.

    I know its my own fault. I'm in a vicious cycle of drinking > doing stupid mistakes >feeling ashamed > drinking to make myself feel better.. But now I am pretty sure I have lost someone who means alot to me from my life because of how I keep being... I genuinely feel like atm, the best thing for me is to not be alive... But I cant seem to break out the cycle...

    I had 3 weeks off work and recently returned but already I am starting to skip work again because I cannot be arsed to get out of bed and go to it. I have no motivation to do anything at all... Even my flat mate aint happy with me either since I don't help around the flat... but that's because I find it hard to find the motivation to do anything.

    I guess I just want to know... is there anyway I can stop being self destructive?? I have to admit, I have probably lost alot of people from my life because of how I have acted or have been... Does it get better then this? because writing a post on tsr, while crying your eyes out, is one of the lowest points of my life...
    Hey there,

    I've honestly been where you currently are. First off all just know that this is not your fault.Would you be so hard on yourself if you had a "real" illness like cancer? The drinking is just a means of escape.Just know that you can and you will get better. It's hard but you can get through this. Just don't be so hard on yourself. I you need to rest you need to rest. Do you have any family you could talk to? Have you had any follow up with the GP? What did they recommend? This too shall pass and I know it seems like it's not ending but after the night we always have day and you have to know it's going to get better. You're doing the best that you can and that's good enough right now.

    Cleaning right now wouldn't be a priority.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    Try and set yourself mini goals each day, even if it is just to get out of bed, have a shower, and go back to bed again. Having a shower, or a bath, will make you feel a bit better about yourself. I'm not trying to say you never wash btw, but I know the feeling of not even having the motivation to have a wash, even when my hair desperately needs washing. Also, getting rid of the alcohol will really help. I can't speak from experience though. Also, make sure you are eating at least three time a day.
    Expressing your feelings is also really helpful. There are many ways to do this such as phoning a friend or a helpline, drawing/painting, writing in a diary or journal, writing poetry etc
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    I'm in a similar position myself. Talking about it is the first step to treating it.

    Defo worth getting a follow up with your GP and seeing if you can be referred to a consultant. There's no shame in it. I was and it has helped me so much.

    In the meantime setting yourself goals every day will help you as said already, even if it's little things. For me, going for a walk and listening to my favourite music helps me take my mind of my issues and think about positive things. There's an app you can get for most smartphones called headspace which may also help you as may this webpage http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp

    Samaritans are a charity which you can phone any time day or night for free and they'll be happy to talk and keep everything confidential website here: http://www.samaritans.org/ I've heard they help a lot as well.

    You can beat this and you've already taken the first step which is to talk about it.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Hey - firstly, you're not alone. I think it's important to remember this when you're at such a low point in your life. You're not the only one, in fact there are people out there, somewhere, that are in a much worse position than you. So when you say it's the lowest point in your life, just remember it could be worse. Perhaps you can even use that idea to motivate yourself.
    Secondly, you say you've lost people who mean a lot to you because of your depression, again, use this as motivation to stand up, shake it off and rebuild those relationships. Start off by treating yourself to a new haircut, some new clothes, and new aftershave. To be a different person you've got to feel like a different person. Then, you need to think about your career. I'm guessing you have a job at the moment if you're renting a flat? Do you enjoy this job? If not, find something else. If you do, then think about ways you can improve your job performance and do that. Once you've done this, think about getting a hobby. If you don't have anything in particular then join the gym. Get into shape. Replace drinking with exercise. Exercise has actually been proven to help people with depression, it's a great way to release steam and feel good about yourself. Also, if you don't already, get an iPod and fill it with your favourite uplifting, happy songs. When you're starting to feel down, listen to your iPod! Also, keep your room clean and tidy, perhaps put your headphones in and have a massive spring clean of your room... Or even the whole flat! Not only will this impress your room mate but also a clean room = a clean mind and I honestly believe that! One less thing to worry about. Once you've done this, buy yourself a book. Get your ass into water stones or WHSmith and grab a book that catches your fancy and start reading it, read a chapter ever night before bed. Which also brings me to bedtime routine... Do you have a good sleeping pattern? I think people underestimate how important sleep can be to your mental health. Go to bed at a reasonable time (between 10pm and 11pm) every night and wake up between 7 and 8am every morning. Even on the weekends! Don't give yourself a lie in. Although it feels good when you're in bed, it puts you in a sluggish mood for the rest of the day. Finally, reconnect with friends/family you feel like you've lost. Show them how your life is changing. Invite them over for a movie night, order a takeaway, have a chilled night catching up. Overall, start making positive changed to your life. It won't be easy and you will have down days. (Which is fine). Only you can do this and it will take time! But think of the end goal. I hope this helps somewhat.


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Sorry to hear this mate, first of all don't act like your alone there are a lot of people like you, second of all you need to isolate the root of the problem which im guessing is alcohol, its a big ask but when you top drinking you'll notice the recovery, also ask your family for help or your flatmate or perhaps get an appointment at your local GP/doctor. Good luck
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 19, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Should Spain allow Catalonia to declare independence?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.