TSR DECISIONS DROP IN Q and A NOW OPEN - GET FREE ADVICE HERE >>

is it really possible?

like to know everyone in your year really well. im in yr12. everyone in the common room seems to know each other so well, there are big friendship groups and such but i cant seem to be part of it. i know everyones got their own proper friends, but i cant understand how everyone knows everyone. i feel like im missing out. i try to talk to ppl but im rather shy around ppl i dont know well. i feel really insecure in 6th form, cos i dont get invited to parties often and my parents wont allow me to go to the pub and go clubbing. im still 16. ive got my own friendship group but what im saying is, virtually everyone in the year is friends with most ppl and i only know the odd few. a part of me feels like ive acheived nothing in my 5/6 years at the school. i do make an effort but it all comes to nothing.....
what am trying to say is, is it really possible that everyone is close to everyone in the year?? or am i just seeing something that doesnt really exist or something. it really gets to me..

Reply 1

Elle-Jay

I don't know if everyone is as close as they seem, but as soon as you start to feel a bit insecure or start noticing things like this then you're more likely to feel excluded, alone and even more insecure. It's a vicious cycle. The way I would look at it (and I'm not you, but it's an idea) is that you make friends more slowly than other people, but you probably sit back and watch people and make more observations and the friends that you do make, over time, are going to be friends worth keeping.

Feeling alone with stuff like this is horrible, but try to think of the things that you do have. And if you really do want to get to know a few more people, try pretending to be confident (it can be done with practice, I know!) one lunchtime in the common room or something and ask a few people how they are getting on or what they are planning to do after sixth form.

Good Luck & try not to let it get you down :smile:

Reply 2

Zoecb

Depends how big your year is.

Reply 3

Raindroped

They're probably not as close as you think, half the people in my school didn't like eachother they just pretended they did because it was easier. Now they've left schol you can tell who's friends still and who's not and its quite interesting.
I realise you feel like you're missing out but just make the most of it with your friends whilst maybe branching out a bit if you want to expand your friendships.

Reply 4

ISH

My class was so big (944 people) that it would have been impossible for everyone to get on well. The larger the group, the less they'll get along.

Reply 5

em1n3m

It's an illusion, they ain't as they close as you think they are. Your mind's playing tricks on you. I used to be like that 3-4 years ago, but at one point I realised that complaining/trying to get external help is useless! I threw myself in with them, and now I can safely say I know the majority of my year, and on good terms, with occasional talks with some, and more often with others, go out with some of them as well at certain times, and all that came from just a building of courage to enter than illusion and make it reality. Believe, there is no other advice than to immerse yourself with the others, if it's awkward at first, persist and you'll understand what i've said above!

Good luck!