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'Coming out' as LGBT+ Stories and Support Watch

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    (Original post by BurstingBubbles)
    It's national coming out day today! And it's been just over a year since I finally told my mum that just because I had only dated guys in the past, didn't mean I was straight. I've now been in a same sex relationship for about a year and a half :woo:

    How are people getting on with their journey's?
    Awwwww :lovehug:

    Happy National Coming Out Day! :dance:

    I just did a massively long coming out post on Facebook, coz there were loads of people who didn't know. The response has been overwhelming - ridiculous amounts of likes and loves and even the hardcore Roman Catholics on my friends list have shown their love and support for me :jebus: It's very humbling

    My status can't be seen by my extended family and I've still no intention of telling my dad. Like, ever :lol: But it's a start
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    What I despise is being forced to come out by sanctimonious gays. Saying you're a traitor and all other ********. It's not their business or anybody else's. If you want to, do it but never be forced to. I'm happy dating both genders. People assume I'm straight, but that's fine I'm not in any turmoil over it.

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    • #3
    #3

    jesus christ how many times does one have to say 'i dont want a bf' before ppl get the message
    • #16
    #16

    I have recently just figured out in my head I'm bi, but I'm not sure how to tell my friend as i would like to tell them. i dont want them to judge or act differently around me. I have told one friend because she is bi too and talked to her about it and my mum but dont have the guts to tell anyone else, any suggestions on how?
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    I regret coming out when I was gay, then telling my friend a few years later that I thought I was transgender lol. at least that phase is gone. But now for various reasons I no longer want to be with guys but everyone expects meto be gay and like men. Difficult to reverse it without everyone calling me a liar or a creep or predator.
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    I came out aged 19 and got a pretty good reaction from my friends and family. I'm lucky that my Dad is a social worker and pretty liberal (as well as a huge Freddie Mercury fan) so it wasn't an issue with him. I got with my current boyfriend about two and a half years ago. I still haven't told my grandparents yet and I'm very worried what their reaction will be like.

    I have to admit though, even after being 'out' for 4 years I still find being gay pretty tough. Everywhere you go; whether its school, work, uni etc. you always encounter someone homophobic. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what other people think of you but it still hurts to be rejected or hated over something. I guess some stronger people wouldn't give two shits, but to me it still hurts a lot.
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    I have only come out to my university friends and my sister because I know they won't give a crap about my sexuality.

    My parents, on the other hand, are a completely different issue. My parents are intensely orthodox Muslims. It doesn't take much imagination to figure out how they feel about LGBT people. The only reason why I haven't come out to them is because I am not financially independent yet. As soon as I graduate and get a job and move out, I'll tell them (it won't go down well).

    In terms of how I'm feeling now, well I'm feeling kind of frustrated. I want to be able to go out to gay clubs and all that but I can't because I'm restricted by my ****ing parents. They want me back home by 7:00pm which is absolutely ridiculous for a 20 year old. I can't argue though because i am living in their house.

    So that basically is it with me.
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    (Original post by constantine2016)
    I have only come out to my university friends and my sister because I know they won't give a crap about my sexuality.

    My parents, on the other hand, are a completely different issue. My parents are intensely orthodox Muslims. It doesn't take much imagination to figure out how they feel about LGBT people. The only reason why I haven't come out to them is because I am not financially independent yet. As soon as I graduate and get a job and move out, I'll tell them (it won't go down well).

    In terms of how I'm feeling now, well I'm feeling kind of frustrated. I want to be able to go out to gay clubs and all that but I can't because I'm restricted by my ****ing parents. They want me back home by 7:00pm which is absolutely ridiculous for a 20 year old. I can't argue though because i am living in their house.

    So that basically is it with me.
    Hang on in there, your freedom will come soon.
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    Yeah I mean I live in a ridiculously metropolitan city where I faced an almost sarcastic level of acceptance and understanding for any sexual orientation or lifestyle choice. I came out as Bi shortly after I first discovered what it meant when I was 13, I have never hidden it from anyone. My parents know but having never had a long term girlfriend I have never felt the ned to sit down my massive extended family and explain my sexual orientation. I never saw the need to make a big fuss over something I felt shouldn't be a big discovery, I mean some people aren't straight O.O what a surprise...
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    It's come up in conversations with my parents and various friends that I'm bi. None of them said anything :indiff:
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    There is definitely a line somewhere as sometimes if you're sexuality comes up in conversation people treat it as just another thing to know about you, as important as knowing you're favourite colour or you're birthday. But then again there are the conversations in which it is ignored because the other person considers it embarrassing, a 'That's nice dear' response with the understanding that they think it's just a phase and that eventually you'll settle down with a nice young man... They're quite different conversations but a want to avoid the second type means I often censure my words when in the company of family as I fear they may not understand me as my friends do.
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    Ladies :excited:
    • #17
    #17

    I am so glad i found this post!

    Im kind of in the process of "coming out", id that makes sense as ive only recently identified as being bisexual with a few gears of questioning my sexuality.
    The first person i told was a colleague at work because he was bisexual too (im 24, im a late bloomer i know haha). The next person i came out to was my mum and stepdad. My mum has said in the past that she'd always love her kids no matter what but when i told her i was bi, i got the whole "its a phase, youre just lonely". My stepdad was surprisingly okay with it given hes relatively honophobic? (Although he does keep reminding me that im greedy). Over the past few months my mum has kind of accepted me but its kind of we avoid talking about it.
    My brother and his girlfriend was the next ones i told where my brother was surprisingly okay with it and his girlfriend cried for joy and hugged me and congratulated me.

    I think my biggest worry is letting my dad and all his side of the family know. Theyre very strict catholics and they have a lot on their plate to deal with at the min (my grandad currently has late stage Alzheimers). On the one hand they deserve to know as they are my family but on the other hand, i feel theyre just gonna reject me and cut me out of their lives.

    Another big worry of mine is that i feel im not gonna fit in with the LGBT+ community at uni when i start in september because of how "new" i am to my sexuality and my age regarding that.

    (ps sorry this post is MEGA long)
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    I don't want to presume your life and the people in it but I will always maintain that no one is obligated to tell their family anything, especially if you are just coming to terms with your sexuality. The last thing you need is a strongly negative reaction from loved ones. I think it's always easier to tell complete strangers your sexuality for that very reason, if you already have a relationship with someone announcing that you're Bi could change that relationship which is not the case of you start by letting the other person know, but hey life is never gonna be as easy for us gays.
    On the subject of feeling not apart of the community I would hope that at what ever uni you're going to the Lgbtq community there would be excepting if you no matter what you're circumstances knowledge or experience of the community. The last thing we need is divisions within our minority group. But I transgress basically I'm trying to say im sure you'll be fine everyone feels that way at some point
    • #18
    #18

    Ok here is a run down of my situation.

    I go to an all Boys Catholic Grammar, so perhaps not the most welcoming place for gays.
    I am gay, not out. Our formal is in a few months time and the pressure is mounting to get a girl for the event, I might come out just to get rid of the stress surrounding it, but then it could just lead to my final few months of school being a homophobic hate fest.
    Granted I have dropped hints to some people and talked about LGBT issues and most people seem quite accepting, I just fear they will change if and when I do come out.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok here is a run down of my situation.

    I go to an all Boys Catholic Grammar, so perhaps not the most welcoming place for gays.
    I am gay, not out. Our formal is in a few months time and the pressure is mounting to get a girl for the event, I might come out just to get rid of the stress surrounding it, but then it could just lead to my final few months of school being a homophobic hate fest.
    Granted I have dropped hints to some people and talked about LGBT issues and most people seem quite accepting, I just fear they will change if and when I do come out.
    In all honesty i would wait really, i mean obviously it is up to you but what gain would you get from coming out in the last few months of school? i understand the formal thing but honestly you dont really need a date for prom, ik lots of ppl at my girl's school are going single and i am as well. I think it would be best to wait really and then tell the people you want to keep in touch with individually after school? that way it reduces it being gossip or the 'latest news'
    good luck with it all and do what's best for you :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok here is a run down of my situation.

    I go to an all Boys Catholic Grammar, so perhaps not the most welcoming place for gays.
    I am gay, not out. Our formal is in a few months time and the pressure is mounting to get a girl for the event, I might come out just to get rid of the stress surrounding it, but then it could just lead to my final few months of school being a homophobic hate fest.
    Granted I have dropped hints to some people and talked about LGBT issues and most people seem quite accepting, I just fear they will change if and when I do come out.
    Come out when YOU want to come out. Don't feel you have to tell everyone just because a lot of other LGBT people are out. You shouldn't feel pressured into doing anything you don't want to do.
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    Looking forward to pride
    never thought i would say that at all, even this time like 6 weeks ago coming out of narnia seemed unfathomable nevermind going to pride with my parent :eek: honestly i could not have asked for more in regard to that, she has been wonderful :yes:
    I never really wrote an update on this on this thread but it's nice to be able to not have to write as anonymous in case this account gets found one day


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    exactly 7 months after posting in this thread for the first time i'm one step closer.
    only one step and that is all i want atm.
    just want to start setting things in motion tbh.
    the one person i care about suspects and is seemingly ok with it so that is something
    took 10 months to take that second step but i dont regret that, im content with how stuff turned out and i think i took it slow enough to suit me
    good luck for everyone else :hugs:

    https://img0.etsystatic.com/123/0/13...19404_nr41.jpg
 
 
 
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