Emotionally Dead?

Ok... I was put onto antidepressants on thursday to treat my anxiety/depression and then yesterday me and my girlfriend split up after a yr and a half. The thing is; it's been over a day since it happened and I'm yet to cry. I feel completely empty now as I've taken a gap year and as of yet it has been entirely unproductive. I don't know if I want to cry or not. I'm normally able to cry at a film but haven't been able to and there's loads of music that meant a lot to our relationship that i'da thought woulda done the trick. I'm very confused.
We broke up on pretty good terms... Basically what i'm saying is that we've agreed that there's a good chance that we'll give it another go when she's sorted herself out... which wont be until at least mid-june - she's in the middle of ehr alevels and her mum has cancer and has a ton of carp on her shoulders to deal with atm so she can't cope with being with me right now with my problems as well. Anyway... am I dead inside? Is it the drugs?

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Reply 1

Lidka

There are no rules saying you have to cry, you know. There's more than one way of expressing grief. It's true that anti-depressants can make you feel numb, but give yourself some time. You may just be in shock/coming to terms with being single. As it is, I hope you feel better soon.

Reply 2

Runaground

Many people experience a sense of apathy when on antidepressants, it's normal :smile:

Reply 3

Airel

I made a post like this some time ago. I had an unproductive gap year too. People are just different.

Reply 4

Angrybanana

Make the most of this numbness, you'll want it back when you feel so heartbroken you can't get out of bed in the morning.

Reply 5

ßlαcksωαn

mungukwachupi

and I'm yet to cry. I feel completely empty now as I've taken a gap year and as of yet it has been entirely unproductive. I don't know if I want to cry or not. I'm normally able to cry at a film but haven't been able to and there's loads of music that meant a lot to our relationship that i'da thought woulda done the trick. I'm very confused.
We broke up on pretty good terms... Basically what i'm saying is that we've agreed that there's a good chance that we'll give it another go when she's sorted herself out... which wont be until at least mid-june - she's in the middle of ehr alevels and her mum has cancer and has a ton of carp on her shoulders to deal with atm so she can't cope with being with me right now with my problems as well. Anyway... am I dead inside? Is it the drugs?

What's wrong with doing nothing in a gap year...it's should be a time to relax. Doesn't matter if you can't cry..it beats crying every couple of hours I bet. Sounds like your (ex) girlfriend just needs time, but don't get too hopeful about getting back together just in case it doesn't work out. Feeling dead on the inside would be better than feeling your heart break! I think it could be the drugs..it'd have to be.

Reply 6

Fleece

When I was on fluoxetine I was exactly like that. So yeah, maybe that.

Reply 7

Joric

You need not cry always. Your grief will get expressed in other ways.

Reply 8

HearTheThunder

Perfectly normal. You might even be glad in a way - if you're feeling down enough to be on antidepressants then the end of a relationship certainly wouldn't have helped. What kind are you on if you don't mind me asking?

Reply 9

Yoda

Real men don't have feelings.

Reply 10

high priestess fnord

Yoda

Real men don't have feelings.

dont you ever get bored of this persona?

Reply 11

Yoda

Yoda knows not what you are speaking of.

Reply 12

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

It is true that anti depressants can make you feel a bit apathetic towards life/emotions whatever. I've heard that it is more normal if you've been on them for a long time than just a few days but then I guess that everyone is different though (cos I've been on them for a month now and I haven't had any problems).

Maybe also your subconscious is glad that your relationship broke up. I've had a lot of unexplainable problems that can only be explained by my subconscious reaction to my surroundings.

:hugs:

anyway. I hope things get better for you.

Reply 13

Yoda

When I was on morphene I pinched myself just to see what it would feel like. I could feel the touch, tickling, everything like that, but not the pain of a pinch. So perhaps these just stop you feeling sad, but allow all other emotions. Go be happy for a bit and find out.

Reply 14

puppy

What anti deps are you on? It seems unlikely they're affecting you like that if you've only been on them a few days, most SSRIs take up to 4 weeks to work. It might be them I guess, but usually they don't kick in quite so immediately as that...

Reply 15

mungukwachupi

What anti deps are you on?

I'm on dosulepin.

Maybe also your subconscious is glad that your relationship broke up.

I seriously doubt this; being with her was the best thing I'd ever had and indeed one of very few things that I cherished in my life. btw, I didn't mention this originally but she was my first serious relationship. Still feeling the same btw.

Reply 16

HearTheThunder

mungukwachupi

I'm on dosulepin.

I seriously doubt this; being with her was the best thing I'd ever had and indeed one of very few things that I cherished in my life. btw, I didn't mention this originally but she was my first serious relationship. Still feeling the same btw.

Would you rather feel sad though? I mean, isn't that what you're trying to avoid?

Reply 17

Sidhe

Not the drugs as said take quite a while to have any effect, mind you I never felt apathetic on anti depressants anyway, or less emotional, but then I was on a relatively small dose. I suspect your just experiencing shock atm. Give it a couple of days and you'll probably have come to terms with what has happened. Just guessing though.

Reply 18

mungukwachupi

^ I dunno

Sometimes a good cry is really nice as it gets out loads of pent up emotions.
We all go out to the pub on Sundays [my friendship group] so I'll be seeing her tonight for the first time since it ended. We've agreed to remain friends but I know that it's gonna be at least a little awkward tonight. Also... most of the group wont be aware of the breakup until tonight... I'm slightly worried about how they'll all react >.<

Reply 19

Autobahn

unproductive gap year?

I spent my gap year sitting on my arse watching cricket and not doing much else

Just because you didn't travel to some far away place or have a life changing "fun" time doesn't mean it was unproductive, infact most of the people who have productive gap years tend to be the most dull people in my experience, incapable of feeling secure by themselves and constantly trying to find themselves in other people and places, they might seem alive but they're just kidding themselves.

Don't worry about it and if you really think the drugs are affecting you, talk to your GP.