Wasn't it obvious...raa men!

A few months ago I was invited to a friend's birthday thing and there I met this guy who I thought was pretty cute and just a gnerally nice guy...we met each other randomly when out and about it town and we txted each other a little...but I didnt properly speak to him again until about a week 1/2 ago when I was out with my friends and my friend was out with his. We got chatting and got on really well. It was a little flirty and he was really happy that I was also going to the May Ball magigy.

Now in the past Ive been to shy to say anything if I like a guy and often if I dont bite the bullet, the moment passes, so I thought Id risk it. I txted him a couple of nights later and said that I was being brave and would he like to go for a drink. I was thinking, 'hmm he probably wont want to, I mean my luck kind of thing' - but he did. He txted back asking why I needed to be shy and even arranged a place to meet the next day, which turned into a meal from just a drink - to a walk along the seafront. Hes quite shy but we were really getting on well.

So that night, I was out again and he was too and txted me a few times to let me know where they had gone etc ;ater that evening, until we all met up again. Being tipsy, and being impatient (though Im glad I was now), I told him I liked him - he was just like 'oh I really didnt see it like that', adding he didnt want to be with anyone and that he didnt see me in that way etc etc. Now that all fine - I will get over it, though admitedly I was a bit upset and embarassed...but I think it was pretty obvious what I meant by 'do you want to go for a drink', expecially when I have never asked him that before and I dont know him amazingly closely as a friend.

So I suppose Ive learnt a lesson this week - even when ye feel like youve explained stuff and try to be less complicated about stuff, somehow complications and 'embarassment' in my case still occur... :frown:

Liz x

Reply 1

Montrose

Poor you...but the 'raa men' isn't really needed because he has been honest with you rather than leading you on. :smile:

Reply 2

Angrybanana

He must be as thick as a plank not to have understood what you meant by asking him out for a drink :rolleyes:

Never heard anything like it. Perhaps in future you'll have to add "btw it's a date" on the end for those who are so slow on the uptake

Reply 3

Montrose

Angrybanana

He must be as thick as a plank not to have understood what you meant by asking him out for a drink :rolleyes:

Never heard anything like it. Perhaps in future you'll have to add "btw it's a date" on the end for those who are so slow on the uptake

No, to be fair, I ask my friends all the time if they want to go for a drink without meaning anything by it. Going for a drink is a social thing!

Reply 4

Angrybanana

Of course, but in this case the OP said "I'm being brave" before asking him out for a drink which isn't required when asking on a platonic level. Alarm bells should have started ringing for him there really.

Reply 5

ISH

He's a guy. As a guy, I can tell you that when it comes to "signals" as the ladies call them, we're about as perceptive as a drunk midget trying to ride a bike (where that came from I have no idea). I'm of the mind, not just in this sort of thing, that it's always best to be clear and concise and say what you think. I don't like tip-toeing around things.

Reply 6

sparklin

I feel for u guys are just aaaaaaah cannot read them!!

Reply 7

lizogical

Ahh didnt mean to be slating men by putting 'raa men', just the sittuation frustrated me a bit - because I was trying not to tiptoe around the sittuation, because I hate it, but this was as brave and upfront as I wanted to be and think I could have been considering I didnt know him amazingly well and didnt want to scare him off by being reallly reallly blatant.

I go to uni in a small welsh town, Aber, so when you go out you tend to see everyone around which is how I met him - so we were kinda of familiar but in no way was he like 'a friendly friend' - if that makes sense. I mean I go out for drinks with friends all the time who are male etc and its purely platonic - but then again I speak to them alll of the time and they are definitely of the familiar friend sort of guys.

Now I just feel really embarassed and I think I read the sittuation, well, as well as you can really - because its never going to be safe to make assumptions, but you just have to work with what you can I guess :rolleyes:

Reply 8

lizogical

Just to add :redface:

...he is a really nice guy, but Im guessing hes lived a rather sheltered life or is just naive perhaps ~ I mean he didnt lead me on, but then again if I hadent have come out with my intentions then I doubt he would have twigged on really, and then this sittuation could have just got 'worse.'

Ahh well its tricky - ye either end up coming on too strong and scare people or you tiptoe around and nothing ever becomes clear..ahh well.

x

Reply 9

MagicNMedicine

maybe he was interested in the idea of a date then when you actually met he went off the idea, that doesnt mean there's anything wrong with you, it might just be that you weren't what he was looking for after he got to spend some time with you

accepting a date from someone doesn't mean you have to be interested in them at the end of the date

Reply 10

lizogical

I know that it doesnt mean that - and I wasnt wanting to like pounce on him or something - but hes the one who txted me back afterwards syaing we should def do something again sometime...he could have added, 'as friends' to that. Now I just feel stupid.