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    #1

    I moved away from home in September to go to uni and I'm so bad at life and I just can't seem to function like a human being the way everyone else does. I think I've had social anxiety since forever but I've never been diagnosed and before at school I had friends who understood and looked after me. All my old friends have moved to other cities and all have new friends, I met up with them over Christmas break and they've all grown up and I haven't. I haven't been in the kitchen in my flat in months and my flatmates literally never see me. They all think I'm a complete freak and I've heard them speaking about me and I'm too scared to face any of them now. My diet is pretty horrific and I've been living off pot noodles and food that doesn't have too be cooked (I have a kettle in my room and no, I'm not supposed to...). I wait for them to leave the kitchen before I go to the bathroom since I have to walk past the kitchen and I'm scared to see them because I think they'll act friendly to my face and I already know that they don't like me. I don't know how to explain it really, it just really scares me.

    I don't really like my course, it's okay but I didn't study last semester until a few days before exams and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have resits. It really depresses me because at school I always got really good grades and now I'm struggling to pass but I literally have no motivation to study at all. Getting good grades has literally been the only thing I've ever been good at and I can't even do that anymore. There are a couple of people on my course who I speak to and sit with in lectures but I don't speak to them outside of lectures since they both have other friends. I feel like doing a degree is pointless because it's hard to get a job anyway and I will never get a job because I can't speak to people. Everyone else seems to have a future but my life just isn't going to go anywhere and I know the only person who can change that is me but whenever I try to challenge myself to do something new, I always fail.

    The only person here who I can actually speak to is my boyfriend but he's an international student and is going back home in the summer and I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone.

    I had this plan that I was going to be a new person when I went to uni but I'm even worse than I was before and I just feel like a complete and utter failure.

    I'm sorry this is so long and I know I'm just moaning but I just needed to vent somewhere.. Any advice would be much appreciated, please be nice
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I moved away from home in September to go to uni and I'm so bad at life and I just can't seem to function like a human being the way everyone else does. I think I've had social anxiety since forever but I've never been diagnosed and before at school I had friends who understood and looked after me. All my old friends have moved to other cities and all have new friends, I met up with them over Christmas break and they've all grown up and I haven't. I haven't been in the kitchen in my flat in months and my flatmates literally never see me. They all think I'm a complete freak and I've heard them speaking about me and I'm too scared to face any of them now. My diet is pretty horrific and I've been living off pot noodles and food that doesn't have too be cooked (I have a kettle in my room and no, I'm not supposed to...). I wait for them to leave the kitchen before I go to the bathroom since I have to walk past the kitchen and I'm scared to see them because I think they'll act friendly to my face and I already know that they don't like me. I don't know how to explain it really, it just really scares me.

    I don't really like my course, it's okay but I didn't study last semester until a few days before exams and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have resits. It really depresses me because at school I always got really good grades and now I'm struggling to pass but I literally have no motivation to study at all. Getting good grades has literally been the only thing I've ever been good at and I can't even do that anymore. There are a couple of people on my course who I speak to and sit with in lectures but I don't speak to them outside of lectures since they both have other friends. I feel like doing a degree is pointless because it's hard to get a job anyway and I will never get a job because I can't speak to people. Everyone else seems to have a future but my life just isn't going to go anywhere and I know the only person who can change that is me but whenever I try to challenge myself to do something new, I always fail.

    The only person here who I can actually speak to is my boyfriend but he's an international student and is going back home in the summer and I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone.

    I had this plan that I was going to be a new person when I went to uni but I'm even worse than I was before and I just feel like a complete and utter failure.

    I'm sorry this is so long and I know I'm just moaning but I just needed to vent somewhere.. Any advice would be much appreciated, please be nice
    I can relate on the social anxiety thing, I'm starting uni in September and I'm petrified mines going to screw me over, have you maybe thought about deferring for a year and figuring out whether uni is where you really want to be?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I moved away from home in September to go to uni and I'm so bad at life and I just can't seem to function like a human being the way everyone else does. I think I've had social anxiety since forever but I've never been diagnosed and before at school I had friends who understood and looked after me. All my old friends have moved to other cities and all have new friends, I met up with them over Christmas break and they've all grown up and I haven't. I haven't been in the kitchen in my flat in months and my flatmates literally never see me. They all think I'm a complete freak and I've heard them speaking about me and I'm too scared to face any of them now. My diet is pretty horrific and I've been living off pot noodles and food that doesn't have too be cooked (I have a kettle in my room and no, I'm not supposed to...). I wait for them to leave the kitchen before I go to the bathroom since I have to walk past the kitchen and I'm scared to see them because I think they'll act friendly to my face and I already know that they don't like me. I don't know how to explain it really, it just really scares me.

    I don't really like my course, it's okay but I didn't study last semester until a few days before exams and I'm pretty sure I'm going to have resits. It really depresses me because at school I always got really good grades and now I'm struggling to pass but I literally have no motivation to study at all. Getting good grades has literally been the only thing I've ever been good at and I can't even do that anymore. There are a couple of people on my course who I speak to and sit with in lectures but I don't speak to them outside of lectures since they both have other friends. I feel like doing a degree is pointless because it's hard to get a job anyway and I will never get a job because I can't speak to people. Everyone else seems to have a future but my life just isn't going to go anywhere and I know the only person who can change that is me but whenever I try to challenge myself to do something new, I always fail.

    The only person here who I can actually speak to is my boyfriend but he's an international student and is going back home in the summer and I don't know what I'm going to do when he's gone.

    I had this plan that I was going to be a new person when I went to uni but I'm even worse than I was before and I just feel like a complete and utter failure.

    I'm sorry this is so long and I know I'm just moaning but I just needed to vent somewhere.. Any advice would be much appreciated, please be nice
    Don't worry it can only get better from here, quite a few University student do feel rather alone or just bored about University. How about joining a society? Doing something with people who share the same interests will definitely keep you occupied and I'm sure you will enjoy it as well as make a whole load of friends. As for your old friends if you feel you are missing the old experiences you had with them, why not try telling them they may be feeling exactly the same, essentially as you have you bf who is very close to you who offer the comfort and support. But yeah go for it and be motivated an I'm sure it will be a lot better. Btw in Uni most people study the same course on the same ability as everyone else so don't feel as if you're net getting 'good grades' the fact your keeping up with everyone show you are doing great, good luck.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I can relate on the social anxiety thing, I'm starting uni in September and I'm petrified mines going to screw me over, have you maybe thought about deferring for a year and figuring out whether uni is where you really want to be?
    Hm, I honestly don't think I'd ever be brave enough come back and I don't want to end up working in a supermarket for the rest of my life. I kind of feel like university is the only way I have any chance of making anything of my life...

    Also, I think it completely depends on the uni your at/ the people you meet at uni since some of my friends who were also antisocial have become sociable now since going to uni. I hope uni is okay for you when you get there, genuinely wishing you all the best
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm sorry this is so long and I know I'm just moaning but I just needed to vent somewhere.. Any advice would be much appreciated, please be nice
    Let's list the positives

    You have a boyfriend
    You have friends in your hometown
    And you're certainly doing not doing a foundation year at uni

    My life is worse than yours. I have no friends either way. I too used uni as a way to reinvent but this couldn't work were half the people from school goes to a bizzarely top university in the midlands . I too i haven't been to the kitchen for months and now i have not left my room days, i've been eating doughnuts and biscuits for a week. I can't give you answer but we have to not QUIT THE COURSE.

    We can't let these ****ing losers beat us. Yes we have mental health problems but so what?

    My flatmates ignore me, try to avoid me yet we were like best friends in freshers. I feel like being a recluse and i am not scared to act it out.

    Don't quit the course, without a degree, life is more ****ed
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    If your university has a councelor that can help I'd recommend seeing them, it sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder.

    I have that too, it's not AS severe as it was last year but it's still a problem. Seeking help is the first step to making things better.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hm, I honestly don't think I'd ever be brave enough come back and I don't want to end up working in a supermarket for the rest of my life. I kind of feel like university is the only way I have any chance of making anything of my life...

    Also, I think it completely depends on the uni your at/ the people you meet at uni since some of my friends who were also antisocial have become sociable now since going to uni. I hope uni is okay for you when you get there, genuinely wishing you all the best
    Aha thanks! Maybe you could try making small steps then, like studying in the library until it starts to feel comfortable and then try a bigger step until you start to feel like you're making progress enough and then when you're delight happier with yourself you could try putting you're kettle back in the kitchen. But don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, usually it's the small steps that help me the most. Good luck though 😊
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aha thanks! Maybe you could try making small steps then, like studying in the library until it starts to feel comfortable and then try a bigger step until you start to feel like you're making progress enough and then when you're delight happier with yourself you could try putting you're kettle back in the kitchen. But don't do anything you're uncomfortable with, usually it's the small steps that help me the most. Good luck though 😊
    (Didn't mean to write the delight part)
 
 
 
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