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Girlfriend going to magaluf Watch

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    *Shagaluf :teehee:
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    Going to Shagaluf while in a relationship... I see that she cares about you.
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    You are going to have to give her, her freedom to do as she pleases, what you can do is speak with the other girl who isn't a slut who you can assume is more moral and possibly more sensible to watch over your girlfriend and hopefully if something happens with your girlfriend and some strange randomer then she can step in and stop it..

    What you need to do is subtlely get in to her head the idea of drunkenly ****ing some greasy disease ridden stranger so when she talks about the clubs then gently joke about the STDs and how loose the men can get and reinforce that by reminding how great she has it with you, and these things will be in her head before she is out there. You can always mention a lads holiday to see if she gets the same concerns that you do about her but don't make it obvious, say all this talk is making you think it might be a good idea for you aswell.

    Most brutally, you have to tell her that if she comes home disease ridden and pregnant that you are gone.. because that is not the person you are in a relationship with.

    You can keep present during the holiday by sending a few texts, liking and commenting on her statuses and photos on facebook, twitter and instagram and if she is there for a week then two phone calls should do and keep a note in front of you when you do call her to remind yourself to keep calm and not so anything stupid and reinforce that you think highly of her and she should keep to her standard.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your input guys, would be happy to hear more if anybody else wants to include their opinion!

    I think I'm going to lay the cards down on the table and just say it's me or the holiday.I don't worry about her going to clubs etc anymore it's just the thought of magaluf where my instinct is telling me "no, bad news" I really do love this girl and want to do everything I can to make it work and I feel that without the holiday they would be!

    Is it wrong to give her this ultimatum?
    Follow your gut instincts, they're usually right most of the time. You love her, and you say she loves you, but it doesn't mean she deserves you. You can do better. Besides, like everyone says, if you don't trust her then there's only two things you can do - break up or force her to not go.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Bit of background here first, I genuinely feel like I have found the one, a year and a half since I first started seeing her I still get butterflies when I see her face, she means the world to me. The only problem has been her drinking, when she gets drunk she is out of control with no sense of safety or what she's doing, and she is quite a naturally flirty person which has caused arguments in the past and eroded away part of my trust, she got accused of cheating on me and I decided to believe her that she didn't, which was hard for me to do and still annoys me to this day with the thought of "maybe she did" although Im 99.9% sure she didn't. Our relationship reached a crossroads about 4 months ago and she promised it would change in terms of her drunken behaviour and I told her about me not being as trusting, both of us have worked hard at our relationship and seems we're looking good.

    However she is now wanting to goto magaluf with just her and 3 girls, 2 of which are sluts for 10 days without me. I wanted her to be able to go away and enjoy herself on a girls holiday but going somewhere like magaluf with only the 3 friends (all her other friend want to goto music festivals which aren't really her scene) is a thought that is driving me insane, we've argued about it and she is standing pretty firm that she wants to go there. I thought right I'll just have to get used to the idea but now I'm realising that despite how much I love her I dont think that I can genuinely cope with her going there under the circumstances and I feel strongly that it will be the ruination of a relationship which I want to last, we both love each other but I really don't think I can put up with her going to magaluf and feel like saying it's either me or the holiday, especially after me just regaining my trust for her fully, any advice?
    Im afraid you and your relationship are urinating in the wind so to speak. It sounds like you have sensibly set the boundaries. You cannot force her to play ball so i would just offer her the ultimatum and walk if she chooses to go.

    How old are you both?
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    (Original post by missytwinpeaks)
    If you don't trust her, this isn't going to work long term,
    I understand where you're coming from, but I also think neither of you should have to make such big sacrifices to jeep the other happy :/
    If you're sure it worth it, talk to her very seriously, and make sure she fully understands your concerns

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I wouldnt "trust" anyone to go to Magaluf or a girls / boys holiday -

    1) Humans are stupid
    B) Humans and alcohol are very very stupid
    3) Humans + Alcohol + That hedonistic enviroment abroad are a perfect concoction for "Mistakes"
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    You don't go to Magaluf for the architecture, cuisine and scenery.

    #js
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    If someone wants to cheat then they'll cheat so worrying about it, while understandable is the wrong way to go.

    Either you trust her or you don't.

    On the other hand I would never date a girl who wants to go to Magaluf with just her party-mad friends anyway.

    How old are you guys?
    I suspect young. Young enough that honestly, cutting her loose and moving on wouldn't be such a big impediment to you in the long run.

    If her going to Magaluf is going to erode what little trust you have left, clearly the relationship is already ****ed.

    Probably time to consider a break-up.
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    (Original post by Protagoras)
    You are going to have to give her, her freedom to do as she pleases, what you can do is speak with the other girl who isn't a slut who you can assume is more moral and possibly more sensible to watch over your girlfriend and hopefully if something happens with your girlfriend and some strange randomer then she can step in and stop it..

    What you need to do is subtlely get in to her head the idea of drunkenly ****ing some greasy disease ridden stranger so when she talks about the clubs then gently joke about the STDs and how loose the men can get and reinforce that by reminding how great she has it with you, and these things will be in her head before she is out there. You can always mention a lads holiday to see if she gets the same concerns that you do about her but don't make it obvious, say all this talk is making you think it might be a good idea for you aswell.

    Most brutally, you have to tell her that if she comes home disease ridden and pregnant that you are gone.. because that is not the person you are in a relationship with.

    You can keep present during the holiday by sending a few texts, liking and commenting on her statuses and photos on facebook, twitter and instagram and if she is there for a week then two phone calls should do and keep a note in front of you when you do call her to remind yourself to keep calm and not so anything stupid and reinforce that you think highly of her and she should keep to her standard.
    Good god NO. Dont do ANY OF THIS OP
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    You know in your heart what do to. You know what she is like, if she was the opposite then you'd have no issues with her going as you'd know she'd NEVER get drunk and have guys prodding her gaping axe wound.

    But it's called Shagaluf for a reason, you need to say to her in a calm way that you are not happy and in a way that you do not trust her when intoxicated, if she then says she'd not go or not drink, then you can let her go. Those that say this is you controlling her, Is bull****. How many times have girls told their boyfriends they don't want them to go to Ibiza, Shagaluf, Tenerife? exactly for the same concerns as you!

    Call it an ultimatum, if she loves you she'll choose you and not a ****ing holiday. Would you not do the same if you were in that same situation op?
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    (Original post by Betelgeuse-)
    Good god NO. Dont do ANY OF THIS OP
    What would you reckon doing then Dr. Phil..
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    Same thing I experienced. My girlfriend said she was going with some friends and I said I felt totally uncomfortable, not because I do not trust her, but it is unpleasant to think that my girlfriend will constantly be flirted with, considering that boys go there for the very reason to pick up girls. So I told her I felt uncomfortable and would prefer her not to go and she totally understood and said that was fine. So instead I have arranged for us to go on a holiday instead. As long as you can commit the same loyality to her ie you don't go on a similar holiday she should understand. If not then she isn't the one, because she is thinking about herself and her friends more about you. In a mature relationship, one should be able to talk to their partner, and respect each other's wishes and opinions.
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    (Original post by SonOfTheGun)
    *Shagaluf :teehee:
    Exactly my thoughts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks for your input guys, would be happy to hear more if anybody else wants to include their opinion!

    I think I'm going to lay the cards down on the table and just say it's me or the holiday.I don't worry about her going to clubs etc anymore it's just the thought of magaluf where my instinct is telling me "no, bad news" I really do love this girl and want to do everything I can to make it work and I feel that without the holiday they would be!

    Is it wrong to give her this ultimatum?
    When you start administering ultimatums to each other, the relationship is broken, in my opinion. Maybe not irreparably, but I wouldn't do it if I were you.
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    There are so many insecure people on here. If she's going to cheat then she will, be that in magaluf or at home. And you lost any sympathy from me when you called her friends sluts.
    It's the fact you don't trust her that's the problem, not Magaluf.
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    (Original post by missytwinpeaks)
    If you don't trust her, this isn't going to work long term,
    I understand where you're coming from, but I also think neither of you should have to make such big sacrifices to jeep the other happy :/
    If you're sure it worth it, talk to her very seriously, and make sure she fully understands your concerns

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    It's a big sacrifice not going to Shagaluf?
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    This "You can't control her" attitude is the exact reason men are walked over by their partners nowadays. Of course you can express disapproval, I bet if you pitched the idea of you and a load of your friends going to Ibiza for a week to get hammered she'd tell you she'd uncomfortable with it. Me and my girlfriend always talk things through with each other to make sure we're okay with it, and if either of us are uncomfortable with it we change it. Relationships are a compromise not a master-servant scenario.
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    Have you relayed these thoughts to her directly?
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    (Original post by Protagoras)
    What would you reckon doing then Dr. Phil..
    See above
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    (Original post by keturah)
    There are so many insecure people on here. If she's going to cheat then she will, be that in magaluf or at home. And you lost any sympathy from me when you called her friends sluts.
    It's the fact you don't trust her that's the problem, not Magaluf.
    Thats the sort of attitude that has one posting passive aggressive statuses on social media and asking oneself why do i always pick the losers after they find out their partner has been banging everyone behind their back whilst they were dreaming of weddings and the future
 
 
 
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