fittest college

It will probably involve you and women's attire.

Well, I usually do it for career promotion- so if you can get AQA and Edexcel to do a deal on my A-level grades then they're yours If that's not possible, then I might accept lower terms seeing as it's you!

Come on, I'm a classy kind of girl I do other things to get boys into my dresses!

*goes and sleeps with chief examiners for AQA and Edexcel*
Seeing as I didn't know which subjects you wanted the grades for, I slept with every single chief examiner for every subject on both boards. All because it's you
(and yes, it was quick. I'll have no insinuations about my performance thankyou very much)

Now, care to share these photos?

I need guarantees of A-grades before I give up the goods

I would happily reside in your wardrobe, so long as you fed and watered me.

*Sleeps with examiners again*
They all assure me they'll give you an A. Now hand over the stuff, preferably in an anonymous looking briefcase, in the park, 20 minutes. Say "I hear it is nice in Moscow at this time of year". I shall be sat on a bench reading a copy of the Telegraph. Don't be late, or there will be retribution. Oh yes.

I'll be wearing too much mascara and hooker lipstick. See ya there

As long as you don't look like that in the photos, I'm there.

*gives you cup cakes and a bottle of evian*

Now get into these!

Oh, it's better than I thought, although walking around will take some getting used to. They are simply resplendent, the stars really do it for me - now all I need is a matching tiara and sash.

Just took a pic of my tiara, it's a bit rusty but I hope it'll do

I can picture myself in it now. All I need is the dress... What's in it for me anyway? I haven't asked for lewd photographs as I prefer much more natural pursuits. Mud wrestling would be good.

You're getting a home in my wardrobe, with food and water

Wow! What a small world...
I'm sure that the Lincoln girl used to go to my school! If I'm right, then she's a Physics student...

Kat?

Hmm, he's ok. I don't mind rugby shirts, myself - better than football shirts, any day!

Unfortunately for all you drooling laydees out there, I'm afraid he's fairly loved up at the moment....