social anxiety and shyness

I'm really confused and stressed right now.basically, I'm way too nervous and shy around people. At the moment I'm at uni and i have absoloutly no friends beacuse I'm so shy and scared. I guess may be it has something to do with being bullied at school but I'm just nervous doing simplw things like making telephone calls. It' so bad that I feel like dropping out of uni even though the course I'm doing was really competitive to get in to and I'm at a really good university. The probelm is it requires lots of communication, and rather embarassingly loads of people comment on how nervous I am, which makes me feel even worse.

I always feel stressed and anxious and have absoloutly no self esteem- sometimes I don't even like looking in the mirror. I seem to hate everything about myself. All I feel like doing is staying at home so that I don't ahve to see anyone, but now that I'm studying in england,and my family are in brazil, i feel really lonely. I really don't know what to do-should I drop out and go home or should I stay and continue to make a fool of myself- I can't really see myself passing the course at the minute due to nervousness and shyness.

Reply 1

DebraN9

Hey...what course are you studying? It does sound like you might have some sort of social anxiety...have you got any family in this country or are they all in Brazil? Have you not made any friends where you're living..you living in halls? I'm in a similar position to you; I have a form of social anxiety (though not actually as bad as SA - and I seem to be overcoming it), but I haven't really made too many friends at uni. I would really recommend you stick at it though, especially if the course you're doing is really what you want to do and if it was competitive to get onto in the beginning.

Although it is hard, I think you just have to ignore what other people are saying to you. You just need faith in yourself; if you were no good for the course, you wouldn't have been offered a place and you wouldn't be there right now. If it's what you want to do, stick at it.

Reply 2

Samsara

Hey there - your problem is that you have no confidence in yourself. You need to stop thinking of thinking up reasons of why you are so shy. Instead think "what's the worse that could happen?" when you are in situations that you're afraid to do such as answering a telephone.

Don't beat yourself up - you will never know what could possibly go wrong in life unless you try, and if you give up you'll always regret not ever having tried.

Before you can even care about anyone around you, you need to try and love the way you are; afterall it is completely your decision what you do or the sort of person you are. If you are unhappy with something, change it to what you'd be happier being. No one can change you but yourself, but you need to realise that you should only change for yourself.

If you are really missing your family too much and want to go back to them, do so. If even the slightest part of you wants to stay and complete the course while also becoming a more confident person, go ahead. You can achieve anything if you try. Good luck.

Reply 3

**mentalheroin**

9

I don't think ur shy. I could never open up like that over the internet. Maybe you just have **** social skills. Theres no harm in trying to make conversation once in a while, even if it doesn't go well, u still tried and people like that, most good people anyway.

Reply 4

tbtommyb

11

Do you have a part time job or anything? I used to be really shy, but then I got a job in a shop and having to talk to customers really helped.

Reply 5

ch0c0h01ic

18

Hiya, i was bullied pretty extensively through my school career, and i do think it made me shy and anxious around other people. It is getting better, i have a good fan-club, get in situations where you have to communicate, and then you will get better. I went to SA for a month, with people i didn't know and it was great! I made some great lifelong friends! and i'm better for it!

Try doing things which get you involved with other people, get out there, join a sports class or team, go to some sort of uni club or society...do something you can enjoy, so that you find it easier to interact with the other people, because you have something in common, and it will gradually get easier.

I have a very demanding uni course, and communicating is an integral part of it, but they saw through my shyness at interview, and they accepted me. As part of the course we actually have communication classes/courses to help us when we come to practice, there is help out there. What course are you doing? Talk to your dean in your subject, talk to them, they are there to help you.

Reply 6

MissSurfer

17

PHKnows

I don't think ur shy. I could never open up like that over the internet. Maybe you just have **** social skills. Theres no harm in trying to make conversation once in a while, even if it doesn't go well, u still tried and people like that, most good people anyway.

How can you possibly comment on whether the OP is shy? They must know more about themself then you do. Opening up over the internet is actually fairly easy if you haven't established an identity (ie you've been on TSR for a few months with a high post count etc). The only thing people know about you is what you've said.

I feel for you redstone. It must be horrible leaving your family to come to england to study. You must be an incredible person because I don't know many people, including myself, who could be brave enough to do it.

Don't worry, things can always change :smile:

Reply 7

sufiankane

2

i wouldnt reccomend dropping out. just go out more and i know it sounds hard, but when i go out i just think whats the worst that can happen and even if that does happen most people laughit off as a joke. Funny things happen. once when i was with my friends i grabbed my bag the wrong way in public and ALL my books and papers fell out and my folder broke so in the middle of the high street my papers are flying everywhere. i have also walked into a lampost before. i have made a complete fool out of myself before.

Just stay and tlak to some people, hit common ground and get on about that. its the best advice i can offer.

Reply 8

Crimson Black

13

What's SA? :confused:

South Africa --

MissSurfer

How can you possibly comment on whether the OP is shy? They must know more about themself then you do. Opening up over the internet is actually fairly easy if you haven't established an identity (ie you've been on TSR for a few months with a high post count etc). The only thing people know about you is what you've said.

I feel for you redstone. It must be horrible leaving your family to come to england to study. You must be an incredible person because I don't know many people, including myself, who could be brave enough to do it.

Don't worry, things can always change :smile:

Just trying to help. Jesus christ.

social anxiety and shyness

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