This discussion is now closed.

Check out other Related discussions

My best mate could be pregnant.. How can I show my support?

Came straight onto this thing once I found out about this. Got a text message from her telling me to come online urgently, then she told me she thinks she may be around a month pregnant, due to a missed period and stuff. Although a bit shaken obviously, I know her and her bf really well and kinda had this as a possibility happening sometime in the future in the back of my mind, but I had no idea it would be so soon.

She came back onto campus today, as we have exams in a week and a bit and was more peeved at this occurring at the worst possible time. Tomorrow she should be going to the local doctor's to get checked out, as she finally has a bit of privacy from the parents, and I told her to let me know as soon as she got her result what it is. Although she's getting tested, she's told me she's 95% sure that she is..

Pretty worried about her. I'm a guy so I don't know the first thing about emotionally supporting a best mate who's pregnant (hasn't happened before). As Jeremy Kyle isn't available I figured you guys are the next best things to take advice from. I just want to know what to say to her, what to not say to her etc, and how to generally support her and show her I'm there for her always. I can give my life for this girl, that's how much I love her to bits, and I don't want to accidentally jeopardie this sweet friendship I have with her.

Thanks a lot guys. I'm counting on you. :smile:

Reply 1

fakeplasticsmee

8

If it was me I think I'd just want to know that you could be right there whenever I needed you.

Also - if you 'can give my life for this girl' - tell her! thats so sweet and it would mean a lot.

Just tell her not to worry, if she is she'll have time to work out her options and that you'll help her every step of the way.

Good luck :smile:

you seem like a really dedicated friend.

Reply 2

Llamaaa

15

you could offer to accompany her to the doctor to give some moral support, and just say that you are there for her, whatever she needs.

Reply 3

cpj1987

15

fakeplasticsmee

If it was me I think I'd just want to know that you could be right there whenever I needed you.

Also - if you 'can give my life for this girl' - tell her! thats so sweet and it would mean a lot.

Just tell her not to worry, if she is she'll have time to work out her options and that you'll help her every step of the way.

Good luck :smile:

you seem like a really dedicated friend.

I agree with this. You don't necessarily need to say much; if it was me I'd just want my friend to tell me that he'll be there for me, and keep emphasising it as time goes on to show it still stands.
There's no need to try, right now, to come out with loads of the right things - the less said the better until you know how things are going, that way you can't go wrong.
You sound like a very good friend; you might be worried now but once you're sure if she is or isn't pregnant, I think you'll naturally work out how to help her because you know her.

Reply 4

Michael Scofield

OP

helenkr

you could offer to accompany her to the doctor to give some moral support, and just say that you are there for her, whatever she needs.

I really wish I could. However I'm not due back at campus for a week yet. So I can't. At the moment I'm trying to put together a text message saying some of the stuff you people have suggested. Still feeling pretty uncomfortable though, but thanks a lot to the people who've tried to help, you've made a big difference. :smile:

Reply 5

foxiroxi

10

Tell her you will be there for her though this and do what she wants. Even though she knows and you know she knows tell her again.

When I found out I was pregnant I had only just started uni (was in freshers week) but I had grown quite close to some of my flatmates already so I told them and they were supportive. The nicest things where "if you want me to come to the doctor with you let me know and I'll come" and they generally were nice and helpful. They gave me plenty of hugs and two of them even cooked me something to eat because I refused to eat though being upset. (All week they had only used the microwave and both of them ot together and made an omlette using a pan!!!!) But it made me smile and I shall never forget them for it.

I had the benifit of my boyfriend coming up to see me as soon as I told him o support me and to make my flatmates support even better, although they had never met my boyfriend before they said supportive stuff to him aswell :smile:

Also they all expected my decission of what I was going to do and supported me though it. Looking after me whilst my boyfriend couldn't up untill my clinic date and operation date.

Just be there for her, tell her what she means to you and support her whatever her choice may be even if you don't agree :smile:

Let her be right over everything she chooses and if she really needs you and your a real friend go back to uni tomorrow if possible to be there for her.

Reply 6

Michael Scofield

OP

Just reached there now :smile:

In the bus on the way to her halls at the moment and typing off my laptop. Just hope she's there and not left for the clinic already - I wanted this to be a surprise for her as I told her I won't be back until a couple of weeks.

Reply 7

Talya

16

angelfire1987

Just reached there now :smile:

In the bus on the way to her halls at the moment and typing off my laptop. Just hope she's there and not left for the clinic already - I wanted this to be a surprise for her as I told her I won't be back until a couple of weeks.

Internet on a bus!? Where is this place!?

Good luck, hope it turns out well for her.

Reply 8

Michael Scofield

OP

Lol. Our entire campus gets some sort of signal everywhere, though it was pretty weak in the bus over just now.

My worst fear just happened. She's at the clinic already. Went and knocked but no answer, although the good thing is I live just 5 doors away so I'll wait for her to get back. :smile:

Reply 9

kokopops

10

i hope everything goes well for her...

Reply 10

foxiroxi

10

Sorry to here you were late but at least your there for her return :smile:

Reply 11

Michael Scofield

OP

She wants to get an abortion done, so I went with her to the campus doctors who gave her an appointment for tomorrow. As shes about 7 weeks pregnant (according to her) shes still in the period where she can get the baby aborted by taking a couple of pills. Just getting changed now, taking her out to watch a film then dinner at pizza hut.

she looked so happy to see me lol.. i was shocked

Reply 12

Jillie Boe

14

Aww! You're so sweet.

What you've done is perfect. When I found out my room mate was pregnant the only thing we could do was offer her support. We bought her magazines, and chocolates and all sat in together for a girly night. Just to take her mind off it.

Her decision was obvious and her abortion actually went wrong and she ended up miscarrying. And again all you can do is show that you'll be there for her. Which is what you've done brilliantly :smile:

Reply 13

Anthonyjm71

9

support her expect she welcomes any comfort and support that you can give her on this!!

My best mate could be pregnant.. How can I show my support?

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated