Greek Jokes

Rivaldo_23

Hi.Would you like to tell you some really funny Greek jokes?

Reply 1

BibbleJW

Umm, are you going to tell us, or do you expect us to tell you?

Reply 2

Sidhe

As long as they're in English not Greek.

Here's an old English one, not very good but heh.

English man Irishman and Scotsman are each due to face 20 years in jail in solitary confinement, the Jails governor takes pity on them and says they each can have a 20 year supply of whatever they want.

The English man says, great I'd like a 20 year supply of hookers.

The Scotsman says great I'd love a 20 year supply of scotch

And the Irish man says oh I couldn't do without cigarettes for 20 years I'll have a 20 year supply of those.

Anyway twenty years later the English man walks out looking very happy but somewhat tired and thanks the governor.

The Scotsman staggers out drunk as a lord and happy and salutes the governer.

The Irishman walks out and turns to the governor and scowls.

The governor asks "hey what's the problem I gave you a 20 year supply of cigarettes."

And the Irishman says "got a light?"

Reply 3

Rivaldo_23

By the way,here's my first joke."One day there was an old man with his old wife.The old man said"My dear,we are together all these years..Since we're close to the end of our lives I'd like to ask you something.But I want the truth."His wife replied"Yes,tell me and I promise to tell you the truth!".So the old man asked her"All these years had you ever had *** with another man?"His wife said"You insult me!!I was always faith to you except of 3 cases,but for you,nit for my pleasure.Firstly do you remember when you had to be operated for your heart 30 years ago and the doctor didn't want to operate you?I had *** with him to make him change mind".The man replied"Did you do this for me my love?"She said yes and continued."Do you remember when we didn't pay taxes and we were to lose our house?I had *** with the manager of the tax office so as to cover our debt".The old man replied"Did you do this sacrifice for us my dear?"And finally his wife said."Do you remember when you wanted to be mayor at our town but you needed desperately 3000 votes?"The old man said yes.And his wife said"I had *** with these 3000 people to vote you!!!!!"

Did you like it?If yes ask me for more!!

Reply 4

BibbleJW

Hmm, I don't actually know any greek jokes. So lets try and offend some people! Religious jokes:
Martin Luther King, The Pope and Bill Gates die and go to heaven (I don't know, someone bombed a conference/dinner?). They stand before God, in his Throne, and he says to the Pope: "In what do you believe?"
The Pope replies, "I believe in the goodness of mankind and in your benevolence, my lord."
So God says "Very good, take your place at my Right hand side. And Mr. King, In what do you believe?"
And he recieves the reply, "I believe that all men were created equal, and should be treated as such."
"Very Good, please sit to my left. Finally, Mr. Gates, what do you believe?"
To which Bill says: "I believe, you are in my chair."

Reply 5

Rivaldo_23

Did you like my 1st joke?Would you like another?

Reply 6

Daragh

Rivaldo_23

Did you like my 1st joke?Would you like another?

No, I didn't, and if you must post another, don't self censor, TSR will do it for you, and also, PLEASE try and sort out the punctuation to make it legible and easy on the eyes.

Reading that was like rubbing my eyeballs with sandpaper.

Reply 7

Rivaldo_23

No problem deej.If you didn't like it I respect it.What I wanted was just to make a funny post.That's all

Reply 8

username81886

I prefer the posts in between the jokes :biggrin:

Reply 9

Sidhe

Rivaldo_23

No problem deej.If you didn't like it I respect it.What I wanted was just to make a funny post.That's all

I've seen that one before in different forms,most jokes are international. :smile:

Keep going, I'm sure there are plenty of good Greek jokes.

Two locals from the Isle of Man got married and were having their honeymoon in a local hotel. They begin doing what honeymooners always do, but right before they consummate the marriage the woman says, "Be gentle, I'm a virgin."

The man is shocked and visibly upset and storms out of the room without saying a word. He goes home to his family and tells them what happened, and his dad agrees, "If she isn't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell isn't good enough for you!"

Reply 10

Rivaldo_23

So here's another.

There was an interview at acompany.The manager saw that the employee ws overqualified and said."Well sir,you're the man we need.You're hired"

In next week on Monday he called his secretary and told her"Could you please send in the new employee?"

The secretary replied "Unfortunately he didn't come today.He said that he's sick"The manager said"Sick?Ok then"

One week later on Monday he called again the secretary and asked "Could you tell to our new employee Mr.Giorgos to come in please?"But the secretary replied again "He didn't come again.He said that he's sick".So the manager replied a bit nervously"Sick again?Ok."

One week later on Monday again he called his secretary and asked "Please Miss,tell Mr.Giorgos to come to my office." But the secretary once again replied "He didn't come.He said again that he's sick".The manager angrily replied."What???I'll fire him!!What?He's very good at his job every day except of Monday when he doesn't come?Alright"

So he called his secretary on Thursday and asked her to send the new employee.So he entered his office.The manager told him"Giorgo my son,I want you to tell me what's going on.I see that you're working hard but what hapens and you don't come on Mondays?I don't believe that you're sick.I want the truth or I'll have to fire you"

So the employee said."Well sir,I have a sister who's married with a very cruel man.This guy every Sunday goes out with his friends and drinks too much.When he returns home on Monday morning drunk he beats my sister to death.So when this happens she calls me and I go at her home.I try to help her recover and I lead her to her bed to lie down.But sir she's so beautiful...So I can't resist and I have *** with her."

The manager said "What????Do you **** your sister???You're sick!!!"And the employee said."That's what I told you sir nd you didn't believe me!!!!!!!"

Reply 11

Sidhe

Ah another variation on a theme, see what I mean about international.

Guy phones into work says I can't come in today I'm sick.

The boss sighs and says "well how sick are you?"

Guy says: "I'm sleeping with my sister"

Hehe.

That is a good joke though, anyone who doesn't find that funny is humourless :biggrin:

Another sex joke:-

A small boy walks into his mothers room and catches her topless.

"Mummy, mummy, what are these?" he says, pointing to her breasts.

"Well, son," she says, "these are balloons, and when you die,
they inflate and float you up to heaven."

Incredibly, he appears to believe this explanation and goes off
quite satisfied.

Two days later while his mother is making tea, he rushes into
the kitchen.

"Mummy, mummy, Aunt Mary is dying!"

"What do you mean?" says his mother.

Well she's in the garden shed, lying on the floor. Both her
balloons are out, Dad's blowing them up, and she keeps yelling
"God, I'm coming! I'm coming!!!"

Reply 12

Rivaldo_23

Look,about international..I strongly believe that there are jokes from a country which are said by people from all over the world.That's how they become international.Of course this is really good since humour doesn't belong to concrete countries.This happens with at least my last joke.I'm sure that it's a Greek one.I'm positively surprised to hear that they say it also in abroad.I hope that you liked it guys.

Reply 13

Sidhe

Rivaldo_23

By international I don't mean it's not of Greek origin, I just mean it's so good the internet or whatever has spread it around. Sorry if you misunderstood or I wasn't clear, and keep 'em coming :smile:

Keep going, I'm sure there are plenty of good Greek jokes.