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    #1

    I am in my first year of uni and there's this girl that I am really close to. We spend most of our free time together and get on really well. We have shared a bed before but nothing has happened and we have held hands. I have liked her for a while but am unsure what to do. The problem is she has a boyfriend but he doesn't treat her well at all. She knows I like her and still hangs out with me. 4 night ago she kissed me then did the same the following night. She sad she felt bad about it since she is seeing someone else and she doesn't want to mess me around but she meant the kisses but she went to stay with her boyfriend for 4 nights so I am not sure what she wants. I just don't know what to do. Can anyone give me some advice?
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    She's about to drag you into a fist-fight with her boyfriend
    Serious reply: Leave it. Do some other thing that's important.
    • #2
    #2

    I agree - leave it. If this keeps going someone's going to get hurt and it's probably going to be you. It may be hard to witness if he doesn't treat her that well but she's in the relationship with him, not you, and its not fair on him for you guys to meet behind his back. At the very least have a conversation with her about it and say you're not comfortable/ unhappy with the situation. If she liked you enough she would have left him :/
    • #3
    #3

    I agree. This girl is leading you on. She kisses you then goes straight to her boyfriend. She obviously feels bad about kissing you and unsure about her feelings for you. I'd remove yourself from the situation as you will be the one who gets hurt and made to look a fool.
    I'd tell her she needs to make a decision about you. She either does or she doesn't. She can't play with your feelings. All this isn't fair on you at the end of the day.
    I think that she loves the attention you give her but has no intention to leave her boyfriend for you.
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    She's about to drag you into a fist-fight with her boyfriend
    Serious reply: Leave it. Do some other thing that's important.
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree - leave it. If this keeps going someone's going to get hurt and it's probably going to be you. It may be hard to witness if he doesn't treat her that well but she's in the relationship with him, not you, and its not fair on him for you guys to meet behind his back. At the very least have a conversation with her about it and say you're not comfortable/ unhappy with the situation. If she liked you enough she would have left him :/
    I really like her though. I can't just walk away. She told a friend of ours that she does like me but doesn't know what to do since she is still with someone.
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    She has also been messaging me while she is with her boyfriend but says she wants more time to herself from now on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really like her though. I can't just walk away. She told a friend of ours that she does like me but doesn't know what to do since she is still with someone.
    You said that she was with someone who treats her badly. Why doesn't she just leave him then?
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    If they break up then ask her out but don't mess with her relationship for it

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    #1

    She does deserve better than the boyfriend she is with but she told a friend that she does love her boyfriend but she does have feelings for me but she doesn't know what to do. I was thinking about just hanging out with her sometime this week and try to kiss her and see what happens.
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    #1

    She let me kiss her but didn't respond. She told me yesterday that she does like me and if she was single we would have gotten together months ago but nothing else can happen since she is with someone. What should I do? Surely if she loved her boyfriend she wouldn't have any feelings for me
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    Lol shes messing with you hahaaaa
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    Pump and dump bro.
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    My opinion: There is no point going for someone that wouldn't love you whole-heartedly. If she does, she would have left him and went for you. Or she is trying to make you do something for her, maybe to use you to break-up with her current boyfriend.

    Reasons as follow:
    1. She has a boyfriend.
    Despite what the unknown reasons as to why she haven't left her boyfriend, she is still together with her boyfriend. Even though she said she likes you and would have gone with you if she was single, we girls often use that line to say it as a compliment to a nice guy who we are not going with at the time, kind of leading you on in a sense. If we have really liked you, we would want yo make you our only one. So there is a high chance that we just in the process of deciding on our options before us. I am just using a generic term, not everyone is like so. Nonetheless she is taken, and it is stupid to be putting yourself up for a drama for you, the girl and the boyfriend.

    2. You guys have kissed
    It is needless to say, but kissing is a sign of affection. But sometimes, kissing with someone does not mean they necessarily love you. It might be that she wanted to try something new after having the same old thing all this time. There could be so many reasons as to why she have kissed you e.g. under the influence of alcohol etc. But in the end, a kiss is not a make/ break factor. A few kisses does not hold a proportionate value to your decision as whether to take it further or not, in comparison with the context. Also, kissing her more does not help the situation any better than it is at the moment, it would only add to confusion and perhaps triggers rumour, making it worse. So you need to figure out your feelings, do you like her (to what extent), how far are you willing to go to get her and is there a foreseeable future between you and her (mutually)?

    3. She is spending most of her free time with you.
    You need to figure out if she was trying to be flirtatious with you or were you guys just hanging out as friends all this time. This is because as a female, I enjoy hanging out with guys just as much as girls and sometimes, I solely want to hang out with my guy friends because it makes me feel like I have greater male connections other than my boyfriend or whoever I was being intimate with at the time. Of course, me and my guy friends never did anything other than talk about games or matches, but we do spend quite some time together (and my 'boyfriend' is informed of this). So you need to figure out that during the time she spent with you, is she being flirtatious or just for pure friendship.

    In the end, you need to evaluate for yourself if this girl is really the one for you and if you got what it takes to take the situation further.

    May all the wishes be in your favour.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by cl_caprio)
    My opinion: There is no point going for someone that wouldn't love you whole-heartedly. If she does, she would have left him and went for you. Or she is trying to make you do something for her, maybe to use you to break-up with her current boyfriend.

    Reasons as follow:
    1. She has a boyfriend.
    Despite what the unknown reasons as to why she haven't left her boyfriend, she is still together with her boyfriend. Even though she said she likes you and would have gone with you if she was single, we girls often use that line to say it as a compliment to a nice guy who we are not going with at the time, kind of leading you on in a sense. If we have really liked you, we would want yo make you our only one. So there is a high chance that we just in the process of deciding on our options before us. I am just using a generic term, not everyone is like so. Nonetheless she is taken, and it is stupid to be putting yourself up for a drama for you, the girl and the boyfriend.

    2. You guys have kissed
    It is needless to say, but kissing is a sign of affection. But sometimes, kissing with someone does not mean they necessarily love you. It might be that she wanted to try something new after having the same old thing all this time. There could be so many reasons as to why she have kissed you e.g. under the influence of alcohol etc. But in the end, a kiss is not a make/ break factor. A few kisses does not hold a proportionate value to your decision as whether to take it further or not, in comparison with the context. Also, kissing her more does not help the situation any better than it is at the moment, it would only add to confusion and perhaps triggers rumour, making it worse. So you need to figure out your feelings, do you like her (to what extent), how far are you willing to go to get her and is there a foreseeable future between you and her (mutually)?

    3. She is spending most of her free time with you.
    You need to figure out if she was trying to be flirtatious with you or were you guys just hanging out as friends all this time. This is because as a female, I enjoy hanging out with guys just as much as girls and sometimes, I solely want to hang out with my guy friends because it makes me feel like I have greater male connections other than my boyfriend or whoever I was being intimate with at the time. Of course, me and my guy friends never did anything other than talk about games or matches, but we do spend quite some time together (and my 'boyfriend' is informed of this). So you need to figure out that during the time she spent with you, is she being flirtatious or just for pure friendship.

    In the end, you need to evaluate for yourself if this girl is really the one for you and if you got what it takes to take the situation further.

    May all the wishes be in your favour.
    I don't the know the reason why she kissed me but she did say she likes me and meant the kiss. Neither of us were under the influence of alcohol. She does seem flirtatious and we are very close. I do like and I am willing to go as far as I have to to get her but I just don't know why to do about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She let me kiss her but didn't respond. She told me yesterday that she does like me and if she was single we would have gotten together months ago but nothing else can happen since she is with someone. What should I do? Surely if she loved her boyfriend she wouldn't have any feelings for me
    You need to give yourself some space and maybe cut off contact for a while. It's clear to her that nothing can happen because she's with someone and for whatever reason she hasn't broken up with them, so you should try to get over her. Difficult, I know, but you're just being messed with at the moment.

    And on the plus side, it might make her realise one way or the other who she should be with, if anyone.
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    mate just leave her and wait for her relationship to finish if he treats her as bad as you say then wait for that time bomb to go off and swoop in a month after...
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    Tell her to leave her relationship if she wants to be with you. If not, move on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't the know the reason why she kissed me but she did say she likes me and meant the kiss. Neither of us were under the influence of alcohol. She does seem flirtatious and we are very close. I do like and I am willing to go as far as I have to to get her but I just don't know why to do about it.
    If under no alcohol influence, she meant the kiss and she did say she like you and you are willing to go for it, then go for it!
    But its better to wait till things clear up between the girl and her boyfriend first. This is just so that you or her would not get the term of 'cheat' or to be in a position that drama may arise.

    May the goddess of luck be by your side!
 
 
 
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