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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can you? How?

    I used to do 5*5 but it wasn't too effective. I've started a new workout my brother in law does, I'm hope this works better for me.

    It's basically, day 1: chest & biceps
    Day 2: triceps & back
    Day 3: shoulders (forearms and neck)
    Day 4: legs
    Days: core (like sit ups, planks, deadlift etc)

    That's not the exact order but yeah. I do three a week.



    No idea, I never used it before and assumed it was TL R :lol:
    TL : DR *

    :facepalm:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    TL : DR *

    :facepalm:
    lmaooo X'D
    it's okay dw
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    check r/nofap
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can you? How?

    I used to do 5*5 but it wasn't too effective. I've started a new workout my brother in law does, I'm hope this works better for me.

    It's basically, day 1: chest & biceps
    Day 2: triceps & back
    Day 3: shoulders (forearms and neck)
    Day 4: legs
    Days: core (like sit ups, planks, deadlift etc)

    That's not the exact order but yeah. I do three a week.
    Full body workout 2x a week! (Squats, OHP, Bench, Pullups/Lat Pulldown, Biceps & Abs)

    You can also do an Upper Lower type workout (like the one im on now its basically the full body workout but split in half) although it's not really upper lower.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Skinny fat is low muscle mass and high fat, I look skinny in clothes (not super skinny, but just a bit slim), but I have like a belly too. My main issue is that I wish my arms and shoulders were bigger, I've starting doing extra work on them. The gym has better equipment to make the changes I want.

    People tell me I'm not ugly, I've been complimented on this site too, but idk irl I feel unattractive to all the other guys. Perhaps being a ugly teen had an effect on me. I try to carry myself with confidence, but I just overthink everything and then probably end up looking insecure again. :indiff:
    Oh I see. I don't know much about fitness tbh, so ignore what I said before.

    The golden rule is not to compare yourself to others (as well as what Jesus said, of course). Tomorrow is a new day - wake up with a new attitude and try not to overthink things. I have this problem too, but as soon as I realise I'm overthinking, I divert the topic in my head. Focus on the positives. Once you change from the inside - whilst simultaneously working on your outside - you'll change positively. You're nothing less than any other person in this world.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    You seem like a genuinely good guy, which is the most important thing. I believe you're overthinking things, and I understand because I do that too. I am a girl, but I can relate to this a lot. I accept myself for who I am, and you should try to as well. If girls are going to treat like that, then you're better off without them. I know it's not easier said than done. I doubt you're an ugly guy, okay. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Strangely, I am harsh on myself in front of guys or present myself in a way that might be off-putting by either being too helpful or stand-offish. Kind of an extreme kind of thing. It is difficult to describe, but I am not very used to communicating or expressing myself to guys. I also don't think they are used to dealing with a person such as myself either. My nature is to doubt everything I have said and done, as to why said person has gone off me. It's easier to do that than hold the other person accountable, for me anyway. I realise that I never changed, that I have always acted more or less the same. If you catch my drift. So, I learned to forgive myself and stop blaming myself. At the end of the day, they were the ones who broke their promises, not me. I was always honest, and open as a book. They seemed to present themselves to be better than they were, but it was not reality. I, however, am a very realistic person so they probably didn't appreciate that. I saw through the BS, but still gave them the benefit of the doubt even at my own expense. I take responsibility, even when it's not my fault. I feel like we need to not let other people get us down.

    As for the points in your post, plenty of girls don't mind the type of body you have. Also, you don't want a girl to just like you for your physique. You shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to look a certain way. The important thing is that you're relatively healthy. Steroids will only make matters worse, and is a very temporary solution. Don't put yourself at risk.

    There is nothing wrong with being skinny, Asian, and quiet. I fall into all three categories, but fortunately I wasn't overtly bullied over it like you were. It goes to show how cruel some people can be. These bullies don't realise or care about the long-term consequences their actions can have on their victims. I honestly hope you can boost your self-esteem for your own sake, and don't continue you to let these pathetic bullies impact your life in this way. I didn't fit in with the cliques and felt excluded most of the time, but that was fine by me because they were not the type of people I would like to associate myself with anyway as we had very different values. I was bullied in primary school as well. I received verbal threats and physical abuse, if I didn't stay "friends" with a possessive, controlling bully. The verbal threats consisted of that girl saying and getting a couple of other girls involved, saying how they would beat me up if I dared say a word about this to anyone else. After all, they would hit me anyway if I refused to do something they wanted me to do (that would cause me emotional and/or physical distress). It didn't take too long for me to tell an adult, which put a stop to the bullying. A lot of people try to take advantage of me because they think I am a soft touch, so I have to be careful.

    Again, there is nothing wrong with being 21 and not having had a partner or kissed because I am in the same position. That was my choice, and I am happy that I haven't had a boyfriend for various reasons. I wouldn't call myself attractive, but I have seen way more unattractive people with boyfriends and girlfriends and it's not like guys haven't found me attractive. I accept that I'm not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but that's okay and I'm glad because that comes with a whole set of problems. There are only a small minority of people who are considered good-looking by the majority. I find most people to be average looking, including myself. I don't think looks are that important. It doesn't even last very long, as looks tend to fade as you age. You can't depend on relationships to last, or even be good in the duration that you're in one. Life is just rather short, and the main significant thing is that you're happy within yourself as you have to live with yourself 24/7. An obvious statement, but it is the truth.

    However, if you think having a relationship would make you happy, then yes you will have to put yourself out there by flirting to show interest and so on. It's hard if you lack confidence, but with time and practice, it should get easier and you're bound to be successful sooner or later. Don't give up.

    Whether or not a girl finds you attractive should bear no effect on how you behave. You should try to act as natural as you can, and hope for the best. If a girl thinks you're a creep for smiling at her, because she finds you unattractive then that's her problem, not yours. Beauty and attraction are subjective anyway, and you have come across people who think you're attractive so that's a positive. Think of the most "ugliest" person imaginable, and there will be at least one person who finds them attractive. There is hope for everyone, and looks are just a part of the attraction. I also doubt you want a shallow girl who is only interested in you for your physical appearance. It is a shame that people judge people based on first impressions, which does include how you look and come across. It isn't easy for some people, as it takes time to feel more comfortable. However, by then, a lot of people write you off and it's too late. I honestly can't be bothered with it all, because even if certain people do give you the time of day, more often than not, they just end up letting you down eventually but you become invested and it's hard to stop caring. I considered these people friends, imagine if I were in relationships with them it would be much worse. In your case, a lot of the criticisms seems to be in your head as you seem to be very self-conscious and aware of yourself and others.

    I'm sure you have friends and family who care about you, and would miss you if you were to disappear. I don't know you personally, but I would as well. You have a bright future ahead of you, and don't need a girlfriend (or anyone for that matter) to make you feel worthy of living. Once you improve your mind-set and thinking patterns, you will start to feel better. There is no harm in wanting to improve yourself, but don't feel you have to do/be X and Y to achieve certain goals. It may help your self-esteem, but it has to come from within and not externally from other people. I hope you can achieve everything you want, and your life improves. Best of luck.
    This post is all you need OP
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hate the way I am and just really feel unhappy with life, I just don't know what to do.

    TLR - My issues (1) my body, (2) low self esteem, quiet voice and awkwardness, (3) unable to talk to girls.

    (1) - I'm skinny fat, and I've tried working out but I just struggle to go to the gym regularly enough, two weeks I'll stick to it, one month off or I can only go twice a week. I can't drive so rely on my parents to drop me off, but some days they refuse to. I got progain extreme, but I'm considering steroids, hopefully that can make me muscular. No girl wants a skinny dude like me, I look disgusting.

    (2) - I have such low self esteem due to being bullied since primary school, I was mocked for being Asian, mocked for being skinny, and mocked for being quiet (ironically I was quiet because I wanted no attention or to be bullied).

    Now I just act awkward in public, I'm so aware of how I'm standing and it probably shows by my body language, I just probably look weird. I hunch a lot now because of a belly I have now and I just feel so ugly and disgusting that I just want to hide. I no longer like leaving the house.

    (3) - I'm 21 and never had a girlfriend or even kissed. I was always ugly, and now I've had the person on occasion say I'm good looking, I mostly get called cute, because I've not got a very masculine face. But even though I guess I'm average looking now, girls pay me no attention, they still look at me like I'm trash or really ugly. When I talk to a girl, I'm too scared to appear creepy or pervy, I don't flirt or be naughty. I'm just really "nice" and friendly, and they no longer see me as a potential partner. Sometimes I see a pretty girl in public and want to at least smile, but I'm too scared as she'll think I'm a creep as I'm an ugly guy tbh.




    So yeah, I'm just fed up, these some things and I just don't know what to do. I've just feel like giving up on life, I don't see what there is to live for if I'm so miserable, like anybody would care if I just disappeared anyway.
    1) Could you possibly try something that doesn't require any transport like jogging, for example?

    2) It sounds like you may have symptoms of depression. I cannot offer a formal diagnosis or any form of professional counselling or therapy because I am not qualified to do so.

    That is something that you need to see a doctor about. If you do not feel able to see a doctor, there are helplines and charities that you can speak to. The Samaritans would be a good place to start. They offer free, confidential support and guidance. You can call them at any time of the day or night. Mind is another charity that may be able to help.

    3) I am not going to offer advice on this because of the above reasons. I really urge you to get in touch with a professional who can provide the right kind of support.

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't know anymore, I don't enjoy anything anymore. I'm not the same guy I was a year or two ago, confident, passionate and optimistic. I think dealing with this issues would allow to become my old self.

    Thanks for your advice, I will keep it in mind
    What are you doing now? Are you at university? Come on, man up! Pull though, solider on! You need to find a purpose and have direction.
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    Go gym get swole. Everything else will sort itself out. Girls will start liking you and your confidence will go up.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Mancini)
    You sound incredibly stupid, It's not PC to point out a racists stupidity.
    You can insult my intelligence all you want, but you seem to lack certain qualities yourself including intelligence and empathy. The points I put across were not PC, and you calling out racism is PC. It would be applicable if you were dealing with a real racist. Do you know what is actually stupid? Racial prejudice and discrimination. Not to mention, it can be potentially dangerous. In comparison, racial stereotypes are harmless. Without conclusive evidence, there is no way to definitively know whether these claims hold any weight or are baseless.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by HappyLifting)
    Go gym get swole. Everything else will sort itself out. Girls will start liking you and your confidence will go up.
    OP needs to sort out his faulty thinking patterns. He should want to achieve inner confidence without the need for validation from girls. This applies to everyone with self-esteem issues regardless of age, gender and etc. What you're saying sounds shallow, because not all girls are like that. I personally couldn't care less if a guy goes to the gym or not. It's fine either way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    OP needs to sort out his faulty thinking patterns. He should want to achieve inner confidence without the need for validation from girls. This applies to everyone with self-esteem issues regardless of age, gender and etc. What you're saying sounds shallow, because not all girls are like that. I personally couldn't care less if a guy goes to the gym or not. It's fine either way.
    Skinny guy and a swole guy walk into a club.... who gets the most attention. Im a topless dancer love so i know....

    Even if we disregard validation from women, having a better physique will lead to greater confidence and belief in himself anyway.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by HappyLifting)
    Skinny guy and a swole guy walk into a club.... who gets the most attention. Im a topless dancer love so i know....

    Even if we disregard validation from women, having a better physique will lead to greater confidence and belief in himself anyway.
    I wouldn't know as I've never been to a club. I would presume the "swole" guy would get more attention. If the skinny guy has a better looking face, then maybe he might get more attention. LOL. I never would have guessed that was your profession.

    I understand what you're saying, because that goes hand in hand. Although, there are people with good physiques who have body image issues that no amount of validation will cure.
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    (Original post by jay2013)
    Get your **** together and man the f*** up
    I accidently liked that when I meant to reply saying to you to stop being cruel. If you havenothing cconstructive to say, leave it out! No one wants to hear it!
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    (Original post by Xmas lover)
    I accidently liked that when I meant to reply saying to you to stop being cruel. If you havenothing cconstructive to say, leave it out! No one wants to hear it!
    It is not cruel and it is constructive. So what are you talking about?
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I hate the way I am and just really feel unhappy with life, I just don't know what to do. My issues (1) my body, (2) low self esteem, quiet voice and awkwardness, (3) unable to talk to girls. (1) - I'm skinny fat, and I've tried working out but I just struggle to go to the gym regularly enough, two weeks I'll stick to it, one month off or I can only go twice a week. I can't drive so rely on my parents to drop me off, but some days they refuse to. I got progain extreme, but I'm considering steroids, hopefully that can make me muscular. No girl wants a skinny dude like me, I look disgusting
    :sigh: If you look in the mirror everyday and you aren't willing to take a step to change I don't think you should have the right to complain. If your upset with how your body appears and you need to remember "Nothing worth having, comes easy." You need to prove that you have a 'mindset' to go with the body which comes over a long time parameter of continuous hard work and a consistent diet. There surely must be gyms nearby that are within walking distance perhaps you can look into them rather than rely on your parents spoon feeding you as imo it comes down to you. Have you researched what the implications/dangers that lies around taking steroids? Do you want to live a long happy, functional life or are you obsessed about instantaneous results, that only only screws you over in the long run but can be easily achieved through adherence, time and knowledge regarding dieting.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    (2) - I have such low self esteem due to being bullied since primary school, I was mocked for being Asian, mocked for being skinny, and mocked for being quiet (ironically I was quiet because I wanted no attention or to be bullied).

    Now I just act awkward in public, I'm so aware of how I'm standing and it probably shows by my body language, I just probably look weird. I hunch a lot now because of a belly I have now and I just feel so ugly and disgusting that I just want to hide. I no longer like leaving the house.
    Sorry you feel that way as I can sympathise from experience aswell. Its not as bad as it seems maybe work on your posture. You can't hide from your problems and expect results, you need to be willing to change to see progress.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm 21 and never had a girlfriend or even kissed., girls pay me no attention, they still look at me like I'm trash or really ugly.
    Good things come to those who wait. Stop chasing after girls and focus on improving yourself. If you focus on yourself you will eventually run into a girl with similar interests and find it way easier to talk.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've just feel like giving up on life, I don't see what there is to live for if I'm so miserable, like anybody would care if I just disappeared anyway.
    Often in life, people fail to realise that you only have to go a tiny bit further to reach progress. Stop surrounding yourself with negativity and think about what you do have and the meaning you give to your life. If you truly want something as long as you are patient and consistent results will come.

    Every GOAT(greatest of all time) has had a obstacle to overcome.
    Keep working at it. #noexcuses #nodaysoff
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    (Original post by jay2013)
    It is not cruel and it is constructive. So what are you talking about?
    Im talking about the fact that you have no respect. What are YOU talking about?!
 
 
 
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