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Are my biological sperm and egg donors abusive? Watch

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    My biological parents have been awfully behaved towards me for the past few years. Hardly a day goes past when they don't criticise me or tell me I'm a failure. I'm at one of the top universities in the UK studying a not so easy subject and participating in committees events etc.

    Yet my biological dad keeps treating me like a failed child that he didn't want. For example, I'm not too fond on swearing and I uphold manners almost religiously - he swears at me all the time and speaks at me with food in his mouth, interrupting me and spitting on me when he knows it irritates me and I've told him so on several occasions. Neither of them can accept that we have nothing in common and our relationships would be much better if they didn't continually attempt to force me to do things I don't want just to "find something in common". I show concern for my dad's weight because only a few weeks ago someone I knew who wasn't much larger or older than my dad, and who actually ate more healthily than him, passed away as a result of his obesity and I'm concerned this will happen to my dad while my brother and I are so young.

    I clean the house, I'm really independent and and quite financially secure because I found my own job. I support my friends who are going through serious issues, I've won competitions and take every opportunity that comes but I'm still being told that I'm a worthless child that's tearing the family apart. When this exact situation happened last year my school phoned my dad saying that if it were to continue they would have to look into it being abuse. The worst thing is that my brother who is the complete opposite of me is treated like royalty because he has a girlfriend and travels the world with her.

    Can somebody please give me advice. I'm at a complete loss and with only a few hours before I'm certain my dad will throw me out into the -2˚C temperatures and the snow I really don't know what to do!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My biological parents have been awfully behaved towards me for the past few years. Hardly a day goes past when they don't criticise me or tell me I'm a failure. I'm at one of the top universities in the UK studying a not so easy subject and participating in committees events etc.

    Yet my biological dad keeps treating me like a failed child that he didn't want. For example, I'm not too fond on swearing and I uphold manners almost religiously - he swears at me all the time and speaks at me with food in his mouth, interrupting me and spitting on me when he knows it irritates me and I've told him so on several occasions. Neither of them can accept that we have nothing in common and our relationships would be much better if they didn't continually attempt to force me to do things I don't want just to "find something in common". I show concern for my dad's weight because only a few weeks ago someone I knew who wasn't much larger or older than my dad, and who actually ate more healthily than him, passed away as a result of his obesity and I'm concerned this will happen to my dad while my brother and I are so young.

    I clean the house, I'm really independent and and quite financially secure because I found my own job. I support my friends who are going through serious issues, I've won competitions and take every opportunity that comes but I'm still being told that I'm a worthless child that's tearing the family apart. When this exact situation happened last year my school phoned my dad saying that if it were to continue they would have to look into it being abuse. The worst thing is that my brother who is the complete opposite of me is treated like royalty because he has a girlfriend and travels the world with her.

    Can somebody please give me advice. I'm at a complete loss and with only a few hours before I'm certain my dad will throw me out into the -2˚C temperatures and the snow I really don't know what to do!
    There's your answer
    This is definitely abuse
    Why don't you move out?
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    UPDATE: They told me not to expect anything for my birthday because they can't find any reason to celebrate my birth.
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    Sounds like you should move out, especially if you're concerned they might kick you out.

    Speak to your university welfare team if you need advice/help.
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    (Original post by Aula)
    Sounds like you should move out, especially if you're concerned they might kick you out.

    Speak to your university welfare team if you need advice/help.
    I have plans to this coming week. Don't really want to be going back to their house again
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    Yes. This is emotional abuse. I wouldn't suggest saying that - or anything - to your parents as it will just anger them and cause tensions.

    I agree with Aula, talk to the support team if you need to.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have plans to this coming week. Don't really want to be going back to their house again
    Then I wish you all the best :cute:

    You may well find that you all get on better when you're not living under the same roof, especially if they realise how much you actually do in terms of cleaning the house.

    And if anything does happen in the next week, your university should have things in place that will be able to help.
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    This is abuse. No doubt about it. Tbh i'm suprised your not messed up because of this abuse. Get independent as quick as you can.

    They will make you ill otherwise. Move out to uni halls next year, and end relations with them until they apologise (unlikely).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    UPDATE: They told me not to expect anything for my birthday because they can't find any reason to celebrate my birth.
    That's harsh man
    get the hell out of there! you don't need people like that in your life
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    (Original post by Nununu)
    This is abuse. No doubt about it. Tbh i'm suprised your not messed up because of this abuse. Get independent as quick as you can.

    They will make you ill otherwise. Move out to uni halls next year, and end relations with them until they apologise (unlikely).
    I am pretty messed up because of it - used to self harm, currently have severely disordered eating, I find it difficult to form proper relationships because my parents keep telling me nobody likes me etc. I've got a job and will find a place to stay during summer through the uni so I'll be more independent then.
 
 
 
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