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Narrative writing watch

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    Hey all, I am really bad at writing story lines. My English teacher said I must start my story off with someone calling me from downstairs and basically I've done that but I need help with continuing my story. It's non fictional and about fearing that I have been caught chatting with my cyber lover boy.... here it is:

    Waiting, I am in my bedroom for mum to tell me what she "needs" to show me. Oh my God. Today won't be a good day. I am caught. What if she has found out? She will be disgusted. Disgusted that her own daughter has done this at the age of fifteen. I need to ask my friends for a way out of this. Desperately, my hands move to hold onto the house phone.

    Who can forget to keep their cell phone? Me. I am so stupid. What if mum has read our conversations? She calls me to come downstairs. As I take each step, I feel my heart pounding, trying to get out from my chest. I prepare for the scolding and my reaction to it. She tells me to take a seat. She pulls out her bag and as she does so, she gazes at me. Instantly, I suspect that she was going to bring my phone out. The scribbles in my mind erased when she pulled out a jewellery box from her bag. I became happy, but not completely happy. The thought of where my cell phone could be was at the back of my mind.
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    Heya, I didn't know what exactly you wanted to gain from this but I did find a few errors in what you've written so far so I've just corrected that
    I think this would flow much more nicely if you did it in the past tense, due to the fact that it seems to be in the present tense. I also feel like you need dialogue in this as the whole plot seems very distant without it...

    Waiting, I am in my bedroom for mum to tell me what she 'needs' to show me. Oh my God. Today won't be a good day. I fear that I am caught. What if she has found out? She will be disgusted. Disgusted that her own daughter has done this at the mere age of fifteen. I need to ask my friends for a way out of this. Desperately, my hands move to clutch onto the house phone.Who forgets to keep their cell phone on themselves? Me. I am so stupid. What if mum has read our conversations? (Dialogue) She calls me to come downstairs. As I take each step, I feel my heart pounding, trying to get out from my chest. I prepare for the scolding and my reaction to it. She tells me to take a seat. She pulls out her bag and as she does so, she gazes at me. Instantly, I suspect that she was going to bring my phone out. The scribbles in my mind erased when she pulled out a jewellery box from her bag. I became happy, but not completely happy. The thought of where my cell phone could be was at the back of my mind.
 
 
 
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