The Student Room Group

Adapting for different people, not being one's true self; a result of over-niceness?

Most of want to bring out the best in ourselves, try to be intelligent, push ourselves a bit etc. Yet I find when I let out my true personality, ie show some intellect and seriousness, I feel horribly contained by people around me, friends I grew up with. This comes from the horribly nice trait of wanting to please people too much and not being strong about my own identity. Not wanting to seeem snotty to them. Arrgh I hate this. It hinders me and it's like I don't have enough of a streak in me t be able to bring out the best in myself. I feel I have to rail against it. Anyone know what I'm saying?
Reply 1
kind of, but like i've always said, you should always be yourself, if people don't like you for your trueself, then whats the point in bothering with them in the first place. when it comes to trying to please everyone, take it from me, it's an impossibility. you know it is ok to be selfish some times, you are your numberone priority

it took myslef absolutly ages to work that out for myself...
Not really. Personally I always true to be myself..don't change for anyone. If they're your friends they should accept you for you.
Well I guess I just mean I'm being too nice in that I want to strive and better myself intellectually, but I'm hindered by my niceness into not maximizing my intelligence and just appeasing people too much if they're nice. I'm a sucker for that. I need to develop more of a streak to me.
I want to assert my intellect more and not give a **** if people think I'm snotty.
Reply 5
naivesincerity
Well I guess I just mean I'm being too nice in that I want to strive and better myself intellectually, but I'm hindered by my niceness into not maximizing my intelligence and just appeasing people too much if they're nice. I'm a sucker for that. I need to develop more of a streak to me.

you can be intellectual and nice at the same time, i don't see how they are both mutually exclusive :confused:

i do know what you mean when you say you can be too nice, i'm exactly the same, but theres comes apoint where everybody just has to say, 'no'

naivesincerity
I want to assert my intellect more and not give a **** if people think I'm snotty.


people won't think you're snotty if you are intellegent though, people who are jealous of your intellect will be the hostile ones
Phoenix
you can be intellectual and nice at the same time, i don't see how they are both mutually exclusive :confused:


Yeah but I lack 'ruthlessness' to such a degree that I'm too sensitive what people think and despite my appearance of confidence, beneath it I have to make quite an effort to be the way I awnt to be and not just play to the gallery of what people want, and I feel stifled by peoples niceness at times. I want to just cut them out, and be my full self, and use my full potential unashamedly.
Reply 7
naivesincerity
Most of want to bring out the best in ourselves, try to be intelligent, push ourselves a bit etc. Yet I find when I let out my true personality, ie show some intellect and seriousness, I feel horribly contained by people around me, friends I grew up with. This comes from the horribly nice trait of wanting to please people too much and not being strong about my own identity. Not wanting to seeem snotty to them. Arrgh I hate this. It hinders me and it's like I don't have enough of a streak in me t be able to bring out the best in myself. I feel I have to rail against it. Anyone know what I'm saying?


Sounds rather like me :s-smilie:. Yes, I know what you mean...