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My fiance asked a work colleague for her number. Watch

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    I don't know him, but surely if he wanted to cheat he wouldn't the you about the woman?

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    My friends boyfriend did the same thing. He was sending flirty messages to a work colleague and my friend found out. Luckily my other friend works there too and she confronted the girl who was oblivious to it all, she showed all the responses to his messages and she wasn't flirting back, she had no interest in him. My friends boyfriend confessed to liking the other girl and he said he felt trapped and wanted to have a little fun. He didn't cheat, however I'm not sure what his intentions actually were.

    You need to sit him down and get to the bottom of it. Remember there are three sides to every story...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a feeling my fiance likes his work colleague. I'm not sure if I'm just worrying over nothing but the whole situation makes me uncomfortable.

    A new girl started working at the place he works. They are both engineers. I started becoming suspicious when he mentioned a new person had started working there as loads of new people start and he has never mentioned anyone before.
    He had to go on a visit to a prison and he asked me if I could pick him up at the end of the day. I was waiting in the car and they both came out of the building. He went to leave and then said he was concerned about how she would get back (she doesn't drive but was getting a lift back) and asked if she could take his number so she could text him to say she was safely home. The prison is a bit out of the way and he may have felt responsible for her safety somewhat but she did have the office number. She took his number. To be fair he did then say he was going to look for his fiancee as she was picking him up so he has obviously told her he is with someone which I don't think he would have done if he was interested in her so I kind of forgot about it all then until today.

    I went onto our computer and he's searched her on facebook. My heart sank just then but I don't want to question him about it and seem irrational. I asked him if the new girl was single and he said that she was a single parent. he'd asked her if she was still with her daughter's dad (why would he even be interested in knowing that). He seems to remember the tiny details or what she says and will openly tell me about them in the evening. He hasn't yet offered to drive her home but that might be the next thing if he becomes more interested. When she messaged to say she was home safely he didn't reply and he hasn't messaged her by phone but that may be because he knows it would be unprofessional.

    He's a gentlemanly guy but he seems to have over stepped the line between gentlemanly and flirty. Or am I being unreasonable? Would you consider these points concerning? Maybe he is attracted to her but doesn't want anything more. She is a single parents and he's only mid twenties so I would be surprised if he would want to get involved with someone with baggage but she is pretty and elegant from what I saw.


    He's not the type to cheat so would end it with me if he was interested.

    Is this normal behaviour for a man who finds a woman attractive but doesn't want anything with her? Or are these the signs of something more? She's only been there 9 days!
    I would voice this concern to him.....let him know it makes you feel uncomfortable! If he is a sensible guy he will listen and back off.

    No idea why men do this to be honest....I mean he's your fiance what's he doing searching her on facebook lmao i mean okay he may have been just curious we all are sometimes......

    It's a tricky one i would say monitor it for a week or so and if he starts offering lifts etc it's gone way too far and you need to tell him to stop.
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    Not being harsh but I think you are reading into it too much. Doesn't sound suspicious to me.

    - He asked for her number so she could tell him she got home safe
    - He told her he has a fiancee
    - He looked for her on facebook
    - He tells you stuff she says
    - he hasn't replied to her messages

    Sounds like he is just a nice person who has been friendly with a work colleague. I can't see anything that makes me think he is cheating and you said yourself he isn't the type to do it. I search everyone on facebook, lots of people do.... and he is allowed to have female friends. Telling him not to is a bit controlling and paranoid.
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    Hmm I read all of this and thought long and hard over this. From what i understand he is....


    Giving out the D.
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    (Original post by Jenx301)
    Not being harsh but I think you are reading into it too much. Doesn't sound suspicious to me.

    - He asked for her number so she could tell him she got home safe
    - He told her he has a fiancee
    - He looked for her on facebook
    - He tells you stuff she says
    - he hasn't replied to her messages

    Sounds like he is just a nice person who has been friendly with a work colleague. I can't see anything that makes me think he is cheating and you said yourself he isn't the type to do it. I search everyone on facebook, lots of people do.... and he is allowed to have female friends. Telling him not to is a bit controlling and paranoid.
    the searching her on facebook is a bit creepy tho like guys only do that if we want to spy on girls we like :rofl:

    I get the feeling he's slowly starting to like this other colleague but for OP's sake i think it's best for her to monitor for a few more days and if anything gets suspicious (like him offering her lifts home) that's way out of line and she needs to talk to him.
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    (Original post by trapking)
    the searching her on facebook is a bit creepy tho like guys only do that if we want to spy on girls we like :rofl:

    I get the feeling he's slowly starting to like this other colleague but for OP's sake i think it's best for her to monitor for a few more days and if anything gets suspicious (like him offering her lifts home) that's way out of line and she needs to talk to him.
    Yeah but these days most people search everyone up on facebook just to be nosey. I do it to nearly everyone and lots of people do. Doesn't mean he is starting to like this colleague. OP is being a bit paranoid imo. Offering a colleague a lift home is not "out of line". You have to trust your partner and if you don't then there is no point.
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    I have 1 question
    Do you trust him? if you do then this thread is pointless
    If you don't then why are you engaged
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    Just say you're not comfortable with it and if he's your fiancé and loves you he'll realise he's going too far and close up.

    To be fair that is overstepping boundaries, but nothing that's serious, so I don't think it's malicious.
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    (Original post by Jenx301)
    Yeah but these days most people search everyone up on facebook just to be nosey. I do it to nearly everyone and lots of people do. Doesn't mean he is starting to like this colleague. OP is being a bit paranoid imo. Offering a colleague a lift home is not "out of line". You have to trust your partner and if you don't then there is no point.
    Are you telling me if your fiancée started acting like this and then one day came home and said oh I'm going to give X colleague a lift home everyday just until she can buy a car....and you knew she was a very attractive woman you would be okay with that??!

    Yes there must be trust but both parties should know when to draw the line. If he gives her a lift say once or twice in a while then that's no big deal obviously but if he starts making it a regular occurrence week in week out I will bet 1000000000000% he will be going balls deep in her within weeks.
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    (Original post by trapking)
    Are you telling me if your fiancée started acting like this and then one day came home and said oh I'm going to give X colleague a lift home everyday just until she can buy a car....and you knew she was a very attractive woman you would be okay with that??!

    Yes there must be trust but both parties should know when to draw the line. If he gives her a lift say once or twice in a while then that's no big deal obviously but if he starts making it a regular occurrence week in week out I will bet 1000000000000% he will be going balls deep in her within weeks.
    Yes, because he literally has done nothing except look at her facebook? So I don't even know what you mean by "acting like this" cos you would have to be very jelous and paranoid for this behaviour to bother you. I'd have no problem with my partner giving someone from work a lift home because I would TRUST MY PARTNER. Just like if my partner told me not to give a work colleague a lift home incase I banged them then I would tell them to **** off. It's called having a grown up relationship. Also, he hasn't even offered to give her a lift anyway OP is just imagining what she thinks *might* happen. I feel sorry for you if this is your mindset cos you will spend all your time obsessing over any partner of yours lol.
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    This is not just normal behaviour. It is the start of falling for someone. Not everyone searches everyone on Facebook. If I search someone it's only if I have a strong interest in them. I would never give my personal mobile number out to a colleague even for safety reasons (unless I am attracted to them sexually) the safety thing sounfs a bit like an excuse to me. Would he have given his number to an ugly colleague for safety reasons or a male colleague?

    He probably wouldn't cheat. But he might be falling for her , there's nothing wrong with that, he probably doesnt even realise it himself yet, but once a guy falls for someone else There is absolutely nothing you can do to get them back. I would monitor the situation. It seems this behaviour Is very out of character for him which is where the concerns come from. If he always gave work colleagues his number, checked them out on Facebook etc it wouldn't be such a deal.

    He might have told her he had a fiancée before he became interested.

    It's absolutely not paranoid to be suspicious. You'd have to be a right walk over to have no concerns about this.
    • #2
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    He has understood that you can't eat the same meal everyday.. It's time to move on and try something better
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    (Original post by Jenx301)
    Yes, because he literally has done nothing except look at her facebook? So I don't even know what you mean by "acting like this" cos you would have to be very jelous and paranoid for this behaviour to bother you. I'd have no problem with my partner giving someone from work a lift home because I would TRUST MY PARTNER. Just like if my partner told me not to give a work colleague a lift home incase I banged them then I would tell them to **** off. It's called having a grown up relationship. I feel sorry for you if this is your mindset cos you will spend all your time obsessing over any partner of yours lol.
    Wow you have no clue....I hope for your sake you can choose good men :lol:

    ....but don't be surprised if weak future partners take advantage of you and cheat on your ass. You don't understand men especially "weak" men like OP's fiancée....the moment you give weak men like that power you're done and it's only a matter of time before you find out they have cheated. To have such strong trust you must be absolutely sure your partner is a strong willed person (which most young adults in mid twenties are not)

    I've seen this happen so many ****ing times (including to my own older brother lmao) and it's absolutely hilarious honestly. I've even had a married woman in her mid twenties openly telling me she wanted to **** me behind her husband's back :rofl: ! This applies to both weak women and men.
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    (Original post by trapking)
    Wow you have no clue....I hope for your sake you can choose good men :lol:

    ....but don't be surprised if weak future partners take advantage of you and cheat on your ass. You don't understand men especially "weak" men like OP's fiancée....the moment you give weak men like that power you're done and it's only a matter of time before you find out they have cheated. To have such strong trust you must be absolutely sure your partner is a strong willed person (which most young adults in mid twenties are not)

    I've seen this happen so many ****ing times (including to my own older brother lmao) and it's absolutely hilarious honestly. I've even had a married woman in her mid twenties openly telling me she wanted to **** me behind her husband's back :rofl: ! This applies to both weak women and men.
    I think you're the one with no clue - you think that cos someone searches a work colleague on facebook that they are gonna cheat :rofl: I am fine ta. You don't know OPs partner to call him weak - she said he isn't the type to cheat and would just end it. I don't care anyway, if you can't trust your partner and think they are "weak" then you shouldn't be engaged anyway!
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    (Original post by Jenx301)
    I think you're the one with no clue - you think that cos someone searches a work colleague on facebook that they are gonna cheat :rofl: I am fine ta. You don't know OPs partner to call him weak - she said he isn't the type to cheat and would just end it. I don't care anyway, if you can't trust your partner and think they are "weak" then you shouldn't be engaged anyway!
    I never said he was going to cheat just because he searched her on fb....I just said it was a little bit suspicious hence why I said to be sure it wasn't suspicious OP should just monitor the situation for a few more days before voicing any concerns.

    Youre clearly still a little girl who dates little boys. You're not ready for real men bye :lol:
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    Y'know, people are allowed to make friends...
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    (Original post by trapking)
    Are you telling me if your fiancée started acting like this and then one day came home and said oh I'm going to give X colleague a lift home everyday just until she can buy a car....and you knew she was a very attractive woman you would be okay with that??!
    No, that would be a bit off. Luckily, though, that does not appear to be what's going on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He has understood that you can't eat the same meal everyday.. It's time to move on and try something better
    So courageous posting garbage like that as Anonymous. =P
 
 
 
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