Being Shy

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Pixelfairy #1

Sometimes I do feel used because they just ask me about college stuff then ignore me :frown:

The same used to happen to me.

I've got to get a job soon. I'm not happy about it, but i need to money for uni so its got to be done. Good luck in your new job and be confident and speak to the others. :wink:

Reply 61

Pixelfairy #1

Whats_The_411?

Thanks

I need to save money up for Uni too even though im not going until 2005... but it's going to cost a lot so ive got to do it :frown:

Plus theres no feeling like the feeling of having money :tongue:

Reply 62

glance

imasillynarb

I hope this isnt what you do...planning what youre gonna say for days before? jesus..

Lol no, it's what you should do if you're real shy around people and find it hard to come up with things to say quickly. When you're really nervous around a bunch of people, ideas don't come so quickly to your head.

Reply 63

soilman

DazzYaaa911

because i keep evading them, where do i know you from?

Oh yeah, so you do, I must have forgot :confused:

Is someone gona tell me the real reason DAZyA keeps getting banned (has he been abusing members?)?

Reply 64

d750

An interesting article:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/section/0,,7,00.html

Reply 65

++Hex++

Pixelfairy #1

I've just been searching through the threads looking for something about how to stop being shy :frown:

I'va always been shy but its getting ridiculous now because I can talk to people online no problem... but on the phone or irl i never talk much :frown:

And I can't work-out why not... I just never know what to say :frown:

Has anyone got any tips on how to be less shy for me please :smile:

I used to be quiet as well. Don't worry about it, it's not a problem. If you have to phone someone about something in particular, plan what you're going to say before you call, especially if you think you might get an answer machine. I hate answering machines, I can never think of what to say.

Reply 66

++Hex++

allisandro

i used to be shy then felt like you, one day just thought "right enough is enough". i find i have to act, kind of...put on a front and pretend i'm confident, if that makes sense, and then everyone thinks i am and it's ok. stand up straight and relax your shoulders, and take a deep breath and smile, then walk into a room full of people and everyone will think you're confident. just pretend you are and then gradually you will be. i haven't explained that very well, i'm sorry. but keep making yourself do things you wouldn't normally do, and smile all the time, and over time you will feel more confident, as people compliment you and you do well. good luck! :smile:

I know exactly what you mean - I used to think of things to say in conversations, but I could never actually make myself speak. When I got a job, I had to talk to people, so I'd just pretend it wasn't me. Like someone said before, most people you meet you never see again, so even if you do make an idiot of yourself, it doesn't matter.

Reply 67

neha p

++Hex++

im a bit like that. especially when im shy talking face to face with a person...then il just do this giggle thing and make it completely obvious

Reply 68

kirbz

I know exactly how you feel, cos I'm in a bit of the same situation myself. Basically I just try and ask myself "what's the worst thing that could happen if I talk?" and I think well i say something stupid or something that doesn't have place in the conversation and i'll look a fool, on the other hand if i dont speak people are going to hate me and think i'm a fool anyway, so what to do? So I try my best to push myself to speak and sometimes it works, and I speak, and sometimes it doesnt. If you know you're going to be in a speaking place then think of a few things you could talk about, voice your mind. Hope it works out. x

Reply 69

KandyKane

Pixelfairy #1

I've just been searching through the threads looking for something about how to stop being shy :frown:

I'va always been shy but its getting ridiculous now because I can talk to people online no problem... but on the phone or irl i never talk much :frown:

And I can't work-out why not... I just never know what to say :frown:

Has anyone got any tips on how to be less shy for me please :smile:

I´ve got the same problem. I´ve felt uneasy with people ever since I can remember. If I knew how to get rid of it I´d gladly help you.

Reply 70

Clearing and Applications Advisor

If in doubt ask people questions - it's very rare to find a person who wont talk about themselves for a while...and they'll often ask the same question back to you...and before you know it - conversation :cool:

Reply 71

kikzen

kirbz

very strange. the way you come across wouldnt strike me to think you were shy irl. same goes for lots of people actually.

Reply 72

Cellardore

Pixelfairy #1

I've just been searching through the threads looking for something about how to stop being shy :frown:

I think the only way to beat the shyness is to get out and meet new people! It's not easy, but everything takes practice. Like going on stage, everyone's nervous their first time, but they get used to it and their confidence grows.

Have you ever thought about joining a club or youth group? That will be sure to build your confidence up! :smile:

Reply 73

Whats_The_411?

Pixelfairy #1

I've just got a job (starting tomorrow :biggrin:

) at weekends in the local supermarket.... so hopefully i'll meet new people :smile:

I met loads of people when I was ta my last job, but of course they all have their own friends plus we all live quite far away from each other :frown:

Sometimes I do feel used because they just ask me about college stuff then ignore me :frown:

Hi Pixelfairy #1 how was your first day at your new job?

Reply 74

SugarPlum

Pixelfairy #1

I do but they never talk to me much outside college unless they want help with anything, they get really embarrassed even around college when they're seen with me, and I never go out anywhere :frown:

These aren't friends. Make some new ones. I know it's hard- believe me, I'm super shy so I'm being SOOO hypocritical telling you this when I struggle to do it myself- but it's worth it. Just start a conversation with some people in your classes and find people you have stuff in common with. Maybe join a club or a team or something to meet new people.

Actually, I should really be taking this advice myself. I'm starting at sixth form in september and it's somewhere different from my current high school's sixth form (i also have issues with a few of the people there that i won't get into) so I'll have to make new friends too. It's hard, but force yourself to do it. Because you can't get comfortable with them until you get to know them. So just ignore the shyness and strike up a conversation- about anything. About what was on tv, about exams, about a horrible teacher you both have. Whatever. You don't have to be excessively chatty, just talk to them.

Good luck!

Reply 75

kirbz

kikzen

very strange. the way you come across wouldnt strike me to think you were shy irl. same goes for lots of people actually.

Oh really? How so? I'm ok when I get to know people (ask kupo_nut!) but at first I'm really quite shy!

Reply 76

Pixelfairy #1

Whats_The_411?

Hi Pixelfairy #1 how was your first day at your new job?

It was quite fun thanks... not much to do :frown:

I've been so busy I'm writing this after my second day at work lol

Nah but its an OK job not too bad really... I just need to get the hang of it before im left on my own on monday :eek:

Reply 77

britishseapower

http://www.shyunited.com

good site for shy people, alot of like-minded people in the forum too

Reply 78

Pixelfairy #1

SugarPlum

Thanks thats good advice... I kinda know what I've got to do but... its just the doing it that's hard :frown:

hhmmmm...... I try to start conversations sometimes but I always feel that everyone hates talking about college stuff... and sometimes I feel like there's nothing else to talk about because everyone trys to distance themselves from me :frown: