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still wanting to leave
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
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Obviously I'm at The Other Place, so may be of limited use - but if you like I can put you in contact with one or two people who really hate Cambridge (and are now nearing the end of 2nd yr), if it might help? I'm afraid I personally will be absolutely no use, as I love it...
Let me know, and I'll see what I can do (PM me).
Let me know, and I'll see what I can do (PM me).
trixiedawg
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
I hate where I am. It's not Oxbridge, but I don't fit in. It's happening everywhere, many people hate their university.
The only difference with you is that there is no way to take a step sideways, it has to be down, at least in prestige terms. Whether this matters or not to you is the main thing.
If you are truly unhappy, then I suppose there is no alternative but to leave, but just keep in mind that I would kill you with my bare hands for your place at Oxford, it is everything that where I am is not.
If you want somewhere more normal then that is easily doable (I'm presuming straight A's at A level and all the rest of that stuff).
trixiedawg
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
Don't stay because you feel you have to. If you're not happy then there's really no point. It's the same with high earning jobs... you may be earning millions but if you don't enjoy what you do then really what is the point? To your credit you've stuck with it and not bailed out without giving it a proper go first, but remember Oxford is not the only decent university in the world and it's not going to destroy your job prospects if you attend a different one. Could you maybe see about transferring to another course at a different uni without having to redo the first year (if it was the same subject)?
trixiedawg
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
You're not alone. I don't know if you've spoken to your tutors, but you definitely should - this sort of thing is not unheard of, so they are prepared for it. Maybe they'll be able to help out with things in Oxford, but if not (it sounds like you've made your mind up) they can often set up a transfer to another university. I had a friend who was sent down, and they still got him a place, in the same year, at Edinburgh.
My advice, do your best to pass your prelims/mods with as high a mark as possible. That was, it'll be easy for your tutors to help you move to a different university.
Isaiah Berlin
You're not alone. I don't know if you've spoken to your tutors, but you definitely should - this sort of thing is not unheard of, so they are prepared for it. Maybe they'll be able to help out with things in Oxford, but if not (it sounds like you've made your mind up) they can often set up a transfer to another university. I had a friend who was sent down, and they still got him a place, in the same year, at Edinburgh.
My advice, do your best to pass your prelims/mods with as high a mark as possible. That was, it'll be easy for your tutors to help you move to a different university.
My advice, do your best to pass your prelims/mods with as high a mark as possible. That was, it'll be easy for your tutors to help you move to a different university.
I concur, transfer is not that difficult PROVIDED that you did well in your first year.
Study hard, go and see tutors.
What do you think would be better if you moved to a different university?
I spent a lot of time over easter thinking about changing course, but in the end thought that even if i did change, i'd still have the same problems- having to do stuff that wasn't at all interesting, at least some of the time, having work to do that just seems impossible, etc.
Have you spoken to your tutors about how you feel yet?
I spent a lot of time over easter thinking about changing course, but in the end thought that even if i did change, i'd still have the same problems- having to do stuff that wasn't at all interesting, at least some of the time, having work to do that just seems impossible, etc.
Have you spoken to your tutors about how you feel yet?
trixiedawg
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
Remember you taking that offer for the degree meant someone else wouldn't have got in.
Plus Im sure you would end up regretting leaving in a few years time.
F1 fanatic
Could you maybe see about transferring to another course at a different uni without having to redo the first year (if it was the same subject)?
Yeah, just to say depending on the course/university this is a real possibility.
Obviously give exams your best shot - it might make transferring easier & might help settle whether it's also work related stress making you want to leave/reassure that you are good enough and what you're doing isn't a cop out.
But on a less work motivational note - but I've known people transferring into second years elsewhere having failed prelims or getting a 3rd equivalent...
Square
Remember you taking that offer for the degree meant someone else wouldn't have got in.
This is no reason to stay somewhere. And it possibly isn't even true - I happen to know the course at the college I got into this year took in 9, whereas it normally takes up to 12. With 70 applicants, they made a choice not to take those extra three in, they didn't "run out of space."
Square
Remember you taking that offer for the degree meant someone else wouldn't have got in.
Plus Im sure you would end up regretting leaving in a few years time.
Plus Im sure you would end up regretting leaving in a few years time.
That really is an outstandingly, infuriatingly stupid post.
Go to another university.
Be unhappy somewhere else.
Be unhappy somewhere else.
I'm in my second year and on a four year course so have the same amount of time left here as you. I'm only just barely settling in. I'm starting to see why uni is great when you have some pals etc but I'm not at the level of people who'd settled in during fresher's week.
There's no guarantee you'll find it any better at a different uni. If I were you I'd just see it through. It's only two more years. And you never know what may happen here. It's certainly gotten a lot better for me.
There's no guarantee you'll find it any better at a different uni. If I were you I'd just see it through. It's only two more years. And you never know what may happen here. It's certainly gotten a lot better for me.
trixiedawg
well i'm coming to the end of my first year and i'm still not very happy here. i really can't put my finger on what i don't like, i think its a mixture of not particularly enjoying the course, finding the city pretty small and not really liking the whole collegegiate system. i really want to leave and stat again somewhere else but i've got this niggling thought that i'll really regret turning oxford down for a less respected degree, especially now that i'm nearly a 3rd of the way through. at the same time though i dread the thought of being here next year. i know a lot of people who had trouble settling in, but now i seem to be the only one left feeling this way, and i really don't know what to do. so i was wondering if anyone else feel/has felt this way, or if anyone has any advice for me?
Having said that, if, having discussed it with friends/tutors etc you really don't like the university, college, course, and you can't see yourself coming back, then don't be afraid to go somewhere else (& certainly don't be made to feel guilty for taking your offer - that just plain doesn't make sense). But I would finish the first year at least. You haven't got long to go, and with first year results, transfering onto a second year somewhere else becomes a lot easier.
Feeling like you haven't really settled in is a lot more common than you think, really. If you want someone to vent at, feel free to PM me.
You can still be very successful without having an Oxbridge degree.
My friend dropped out of Oxford after the first year, because he didn't feel that he fitted in. He then got a degree in Equine Studies from Warwick, completely unrelated to his Oxford subject which I think was along the lines of Anglo-Saxon or some such. At Warwick he met his now wife, and is now head of P&R for Ascot race course, after starting by writing for the racing post,m and then daily broadsheets.
Ultimately I think he regards dropping out as one of the best decisions he made.
My friend dropped out of Oxford after the first year, because he didn't feel that he fitted in. He then got a degree in Equine Studies from Warwick, completely unrelated to his Oxford subject which I think was along the lines of Anglo-Saxon or some such. At Warwick he met his now wife, and is now head of P&R for Ascot race course, after starting by writing for the racing post,m and then daily broadsheets.
Ultimately I think he regards dropping out as one of the best decisions he made.
I am sorry if you are unhappy. I can't offer advice, just a personal anecdote:
I was at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis MD, USA. It is (or was) one of the most difficult schools in the US to get into. My plebe (fresher) year, 11,250 applicants and only 1100 entrants. and I was only 17. I was too young I think, but regardless after a year I was miserable, and wanted to leave. I hated my major (Aerospace Eng.) and I hated the whole establishment. Friends and family talked me into giving it another year, but halfway thru year 2 I was so depressed I was a binge drinker with lousy grades. How's a 1.27 out of 4.0 GPA sound? Needless to say, when the Pentagon cut the military schools by 300 people, I was one.
After 10 years of factory work, welding and manufacturing, I decided to get that undergrad degree. I had to go to a tiny State school that basically took anyone with a pulse because my GPA was so low. But after 3 years with straight 4.0 semesters, I took a long shot at postgrad here at another prestigous institution. I got in, and was terrified that I would hate it all over again. But Oxford was nothing like the tinpot military outfit I was at before. I love it here, except for the fact that I am so old at 33 that I have no friends and feel like an outcast. That part sucks. So I guess my message, apart from "Enjoy your youth and friends" is "Don't feel like you should stay out of guilt or other people's opinion". In the end, if you are that miserable, you will subconciously find a way to leave, and the long term ramifications can suck.
Sorry to be a windbag
Old folks do ramble.
Southessex
Exeter College, Oxford
MPhil Euro Archaeology
I was at the US Naval Academy in Annapolis MD, USA. It is (or was) one of the most difficult schools in the US to get into. My plebe (fresher) year, 11,250 applicants and only 1100 entrants. and I was only 17. I was too young I think, but regardless after a year I was miserable, and wanted to leave. I hated my major (Aerospace Eng.) and I hated the whole establishment. Friends and family talked me into giving it another year, but halfway thru year 2 I was so depressed I was a binge drinker with lousy grades. How's a 1.27 out of 4.0 GPA sound? Needless to say, when the Pentagon cut the military schools by 300 people, I was one.
After 10 years of factory work, welding and manufacturing, I decided to get that undergrad degree. I had to go to a tiny State school that basically took anyone with a pulse because my GPA was so low. But after 3 years with straight 4.0 semesters, I took a long shot at postgrad here at another prestigous institution. I got in, and was terrified that I would hate it all over again. But Oxford was nothing like the tinpot military outfit I was at before. I love it here, except for the fact that I am so old at 33 that I have no friends and feel like an outcast. That part sucks. So I guess my message, apart from "Enjoy your youth and friends" is "Don't feel like you should stay out of guilt or other people's opinion". In the end, if you are that miserable, you will subconciously find a way to leave, and the long term ramifications can suck.
Sorry to be a windbag
Old folks do ramble.
Southessex
Exeter College, Oxford
MPhil Euro Archaeology
Square
Remember you taking that offer for the degree meant someone else wouldn't have got in.
Plus Im sure you would end up regretting leaving in a few years time.
Plus Im sure you would end up regretting leaving in a few years time.
I'm puzzled why you should be made to feel guilty about changing your mind. People do it all the time. You are paying for your education, and you are free to take your money elsewhere. That said, before deciding on any course of action you should really try to understand the reason(s) why you are not happy. It could range from a clinical depression to just not enjoying the academics/subject, social scene, accommodation, city etc. My cousin suffered from depression in her 2nd yr at Oxford took some time off and then returned refreshed to complete the degree. Try to speak to someone impartial who can help you get to the root of the problem and give you some good advice. If you need a break it can be negotiated. If you need a change it can be done too. You need to do what's right for you.
Having left both a Physics and Maths degree(at York, not Oxford) I can tell you that your best bet is to stick with it.
Grass is always greener syndrome is a big factor, and as edders said, lots of the work you do in any degree anywhere is gonna be not very interesting and annoying.
If you stick it through now you'll graduate in 6 terms time, leave and go somewhere else and you'll have to go what you've already been through again(just in different surroundings).
Again, as edders said, get involved in some extra-curriculars, get your head down, and get it over with, despite what everyone else in the world says, life starts after Uni, not at it
Grass is always greener syndrome is a big factor, and as edders said, lots of the work you do in any degree anywhere is gonna be not very interesting and annoying.
If you stick it through now you'll graduate in 6 terms time, leave and go somewhere else and you'll have to go what you've already been through again(just in different surroundings).
Again, as edders said, get involved in some extra-curriculars, get your head down, and get it over with, despite what everyone else in the world says, life starts after Uni, not at it
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