Staying friends with an ex? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
#1
We broke up on good terms really but I said I did not want to be friends with him. Now I am having second thoughts, but probably because I miss him. We both still had feelings for eachother when we broke up it's just the relationship wasn't good. I do still have feelings for him and him for me but I wouldnt get in a relationship again with him, I know that... so would staying friends be a possbility? Has it ever worked for anyone?
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Anonymous #2
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Report 3 years ago
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I'm friends with most of my ex's. It can work but it does leave you wondering 'what if'. As long as your sure that you just want to be friends and you wont get back with him it will work.
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alcibiade
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#3
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SOme of my best friends are EXs. If you can manage it, I think it is worth it. After all, having shared so much, you have a unique intimacy that can become the deepest of friendships.

For example, in my early 20s, I had a tumultuous, passionate relationship and when I broke it off, I was angry literally for decades. THen, I happened to move my family nearby and felt ready to get in touch. We are now great friends with no issues, it was a wonderful rediscovery and it occurred at the right moment for us both. Our families are good friends and have even spent vacations together.

Not everyone can handle it, of course. Another EX of mine, from a very important and mature relationship, wants nothing to do with me in spite of my occasional attempts over the last 28 years. I respect her feelings in this, too, but regret it.
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Lyrical Prodigy
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#4
Report 3 years ago
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Meh I'd say at the end of the day it's always up to the individual but personally, I wouldn't recommend staying friends with an ex. For example, what happens when your ex gets into a new relationship? Will you be able to control your feelings and emotions, avoid feeling jealous, or perhaps even angry? I mean, if you can and if you know yourself, nobody should tell you whether you should stay friends with your ex or not. But if you know deep down that it's going to cause you hurt, I'd avoid it.

Besides, I'm not saying ignore them, shut them out completely if you don't want to. A few 'hi's' and 'bye's' won't do any harm but these are always fine lines to tread. Do what will make you happy
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Anonymous #2
#5
Report 3 years ago
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(Original post by alcibiade)
SOme of my best friends are EXs. If you can manage it, I think it is worth it. After all, having shared so much, you have a unique intimacy that can become the deepest of friendships.

For example, in my early 20s, I had a tumultuous, passionate relationship and when I broke it off, I was angry literally for decades. THen, I happened to move my family nearby and felt ready to get in touch. We are now great friends with no issues, it was a wonderful rediscovery and it occurred at the right moment for us both. Our families are good friends and have even spent vacations together.

Not everyone can handle it, of course. Another EX of mine, from a very important and mature relationship, wants nothing to do with me in spite of my occasional attempts over the last 28 years. I respect her feelings in this, too, but regret it.
I agree with that, my first boyfriend (year 11) was a bad relationship. He treated my badly. But now he's really matured and i can have a deep personal conversation with him and open up to him bc he has the time of the day for me and cares for me still.

He wants to get back with me for two years now, ive said no every time and he still remains friends with me
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phunky_fresh
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#6
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It's up to you. I attempted to remain friends with my ex, after a while I realised he didn't care anymore and it wasn't helping the healing process.
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CLPsych
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I think you can be friends with an ex if there is absolutely no hint of residual romantic feelings on EITHER side. This usually takes a great deal of time, and quite frequently never happens. While you still have feelings for him, trying to hang out together as friends will not end well (unless you're open to the possibility of getting back together - it's incredibly hard to maintain the right boundaries when you've been a couple).
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Savage R3N3GAD3
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#8
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It could easily work. You should try it out and see if it works for you. There's only one way to find out.
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SloppyMcfloppy
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#9
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If you both still have feelings for eachother it's best to not become friends. If you do, it'll be fake and you'll likely do something you might regret.
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username1726117
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#10
Report 3 years ago
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Personally, I wouldn't be able to. Not because I couldn't forgive/forget/move on etc, but because that ship has sailed. There's better things out there than to hold on to the past.

You miss the good times. Leave them in the past where they belong.
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2girls1browser
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#11
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#11
Don't, you'll regret it.
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Nadile
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#12
Report 3 years ago
#12
I'm good friends with my ex boyfriend. I broke up with him while he was still in love with me, but it was on good terms. We had a few months break from talking to give him time to get over me. We are both in our own relationships now and everything is fine, almost as if we never dated.
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Anonymous #3
#13
Report 3 years ago
#13
I had a similar situation recently.. he broke it off with me (it was coming months previously, I was going to end it myself but thought - hey give him a chance to change!) but then wanted to stay friends. He then started making comments to me about missing sex, so I eventually agreed to be friends with benefits. Once I had agreed, I didn't hear anything from him for days and he had really petty excuses and made me feel so little just like during the relationship.

The best thing I ever did was decide myself that I did not want any more to do with him - he was using me and probably having a good laugh behind my back with his mates; my fault for being so willing I guess.

BUT! I now know I'm better off leaving it all in the past and just move on - there's so many more good things to come in life. Just my opinion based on my bitter sweet experience, but I do believe things should be left in the past - leave room for new things!
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