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Heartbroken :(
My boyfriend of a year broke up with me today. It was my fault really but if he had acted in the same way I would never have done what he has. He says he never wants to see me again and when I phoned to ask him what to do with his stuff he just hung up as soon as he realised it was me.
I am absolutely heartbroken! I can't stop crying, feel like I just want to die and don't know any other way actually to deal with it than that. I literally have no one else apart from him in my life in terms of friends and I love him so so so much that I just can't even think about not being with him or him being with someone else or even me being with someone else.
A mate from MSN keeps telling me just to give him time but how much time does someone need? And what if in that time he realises he wants someone else more than he wants me?
What the hell am I going to do? From experience does anyone think there is a chance we will get back together?
I am absolutely heartbroken! I can't stop crying, feel like I just want to die and don't know any other way actually to deal with it than that. I literally have no one else apart from him in my life in terms of friends and I love him so so so much that I just can't even think about not being with him or him being with someone else or even me being with someone else.
A mate from MSN keeps telling me just to give him time but how much time does someone need? And what if in that time he realises he wants someone else more than he wants me?
What the hell am I going to do? From experience does anyone think there is a chance we will get back together?
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move on, their are others out their, you will find someone again who will love you, how old r u if u dont mind me asking ?
It'll feel like that for ages, but it goes away in the end and then you just start hating them passionately instead. I don't think it's ever a very good idea to get back with someone who dumped you because how do you ever move past that? They must have dumped you for a reason so I just don't think it's that sensible.
You can't do much but feel like absolute **** for a week, and each week you'll feel slightly better until eventually you stop thinking about it.
You can't do much but feel like absolute **** for a week, and each week you'll feel slightly better until eventually you stop thinking about it.
Oh hun I feel really sorry for you. I'm so scared of breaking up with my boyfriend. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I can't imagine being without him either, he's my life, I'm so in love with him.
I'm terrified of us breaking up. I hate it. He's my first bf so I don't really know how you can deal with it as I don't know. I know when me n my bf had a small upset a few months ago and we thought we'd break up, I went to pieces. I was off work for 3 days cos I couldn't stop crying.
Take Care hun.
Karen x
I'm terrified of us breaking up. I hate it. He's my first bf so I don't really know how you can deal with it as I don't know. I know when me n my bf had a small upset a few months ago and we thought we'd break up, I went to pieces. I was off work for 3 days cos I couldn't stop crying.
Take Care hun.
Karen x
Aw, i'm sorry to hear about that
Did he not even explain why? The fact that he just hung up on you is really cowardly. Text him (he can't hang up on a text) and say "If you don't want to pick up your stuff then I'm going to sell it on ebay" and leave it at that. If he doesn't reply then go ahead and do it. At least you'll get som money out of it. You're not alone and there will always be someone to talk to here on TSR x
Did he not even explain why? The fact that he just hung up on you is really cowardly. Text him (he can't hang up on a text) and say "If you don't want to pick up your stuff then I'm going to sell it on ebay" and leave it at that. If he doesn't reply then go ahead and do it. At least you'll get som money out of it. You're not alone and there will always be someone to talk to here on TSR xI know why he split up with me, coz he found out I had been talking to my ex. He said it's just as good as cheating on him and kicked me out his house. And I can't text him coz he doesn't have a mobile.
We've had break ups before but always sorted stuff out but now I'm so scared this is it I actually feel like my heart is being cut into little tiny pieces.
We've had break ups before but always sorted stuff out but now I'm so scared this is it I actually feel like my heart is being cut into little tiny pieces.
Most normal people wouldn't dump someone for just 'talking' to their ex. Sadly if that was the only reason he could come up with, it might be the case that he was looking for a way out of the relationship anyway and seized on that as an excuse. It's wimpy behaviour, and if that's what he's like then heartbroken as you may be now you deserve someone who can actually be straight with you about stuff like this.
Well if you were simply talking to your ex, then it is a pathetic reason to dump someone. He obviously did not think much of the relationship. Time is the healer but forget him, he has issues.
I have to agree with others who said that talking to your ex is not a good reason for your bf to break up with you. It sounds like jealous, controlling behaviour to me. You may think now that you can't move on from this, but you will and sometime down the line I think you may find you've had a lucky escape. If he won't even let you talk to your ex then he's so insecure that having a relationship with him would only get harder and harder in the long run.
Harsh words but true.
Harsh words but true.
I dont think we can comment on him having issues because of his reason for dumping the OP. We know nothing, maybe the ex still wants to be with the OP, or the OP has made it obvious in some way she still has feelings for her ex.
Obviously this is an issue of power. They have split up before and got back together, and thus he knows that the OP will ALWAYS go back to him, so he can exert his "power" when he feels like it. Dont be suprised if the next time you speak to him he says something "Ok, we can go back out, but only if you NEVER speak to your ex again."
It's a way to show you what he can do, and to then get you to act exactly how he wants you to act.
I strongly believe that every relationship needs a leader and a follower, and the follower certainly has to take some *****, but they are willing to do so. The leader will always be a bit of an a**hole, but then maybe they are then running the risk that the follower will one day find a better leader.
To the OP. Dont be upset. Have a few hours to yourself, listen to some music and do some thinking. If you want him, he's yours. He is the insecure one, so he needs you more than you need him. If you think he's out of order and you could do better, then you're lucky - you weren't in love.
Obviously this is an issue of power. They have split up before and got back together, and thus he knows that the OP will ALWAYS go back to him, so he can exert his "power" when he feels like it. Dont be suprised if the next time you speak to him he says something "Ok, we can go back out, but only if you NEVER speak to your ex again."
It's a way to show you what he can do, and to then get you to act exactly how he wants you to act.
I strongly believe that every relationship needs a leader and a follower, and the follower certainly has to take some *****, but they are willing to do so. The leader will always be a bit of an a**hole, but then maybe they are then running the risk that the follower will one day find a better leader.
To the OP. Dont be upset. Have a few hours to yourself, listen to some music and do some thinking. If you want him, he's yours. He is the insecure one, so he needs you more than you need him. If you think he's out of order and you could do better, then you're lucky - you weren't in love.
OP - From what I've read in your previous posts about you and your boyfriend and your relationship in general, I seem to recall that he didn't treat you too well, and I'm inclined to say you're well shot of him/it's his loss. Also, to say that you have no friends apart from through him is not normal/healthy...not that this helps you much right now, but the end of this relationship may be the start of a better, happier period of your life. I know it hurts though One day it'll feel like you're living again and not merely existing.
One day it'll feel like you're living again and not merely existing.
sparkle86
Oh hun I feel really sorry for you. I'm so scared of breaking up with my boyfriend. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it. I can't imagine being without him either, he's my life, I'm so in love with him.
I'm terrified of us breaking up. I hate it. He's my first bf so I don't really know how you can deal with it as I don't know. I know when me n my bf had a small upset a few months ago and we thought we'd break up, I went to pieces. I was off work for 3 days cos I couldn't stop crying.
Take Care hun.
Karen x
I'm terrified of us breaking up. I hate it. He's my first bf so I don't really know how you can deal with it as I don't know. I know when me n my bf had a small upset a few months ago and we thought we'd break up, I went to pieces. I was off work for 3 days cos I couldn't stop crying.
Take Care hun.
Karen x
It isn't healthy to be that dependent on somebody. I suggest you try and ease yourself away a little, just to learn to be your own person again.
*hugs*
I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year last night and I've been feeling fairly sad. He hung up on my 3 times when I called him last night, and then switched his phone off. In my opinion, if your boyfriend doesn't want to talk to you then you're better off without him. There isn't really a set time in which either of you will feel better, but you may get back together. That's what I think about the relationship I had.
I broke up with my boyfriend of nearly a year last night and I've been feeling fairly sad. He hung up on my 3 times when I called him last night, and then switched his phone off. In my opinion, if your boyfriend doesn't want to talk to you then you're better off without him. There isn't really a set time in which either of you will feel better, but you may get back together. That's what I think about the relationship I had.
I agree with what you've said. My ex has been very argumentative and he often needed/needs a few days to think things over. I'm thinking about leaving everything until after my A Levels, because they were causing the problem for him.
Thanks for your kind words
xx
Thanks for your kind words
xx
My (ex) bf foned me up earlier and told me to go to his tomorrow to pick up some things of mine, saying that it was so he wouldn't have to see me again. I got upset and we ended up on the phone for an hour, half talking, half arguing. He kept getting really wound up and hanging up but I kept phoning back coz I can't stand being hung up on.
It got to a point where I realised (from my point of view) that he was never going to forgive me. He said he still loved me but he was hurt and didn't think he could trust me anymore.
I said I had to go and then things changed and he was like "Why do you need to go?". Even though he had been apparently trying to get me to stop phoning all night. I said "Well I'm not wasting any more time trying to say sorry and get you to forgive me since it's obvious you aren't even going to think about taking me back" at which point he said he was thinking about it
He said we would sort stuff tomorrow and hung up then phoned later and said he didn't want us to talk about what happened tomorrow and just wanted to carry on as normal.
Seriously confused. Anyone any ideas about what the hell is happening?
It got to a point where I realised (from my point of view) that he was never going to forgive me. He said he still loved me but he was hurt and didn't think he could trust me anymore.
I said I had to go and then things changed and he was like "Why do you need to go?". Even though he had been apparently trying to get me to stop phoning all night. I said "Well I'm not wasting any more time trying to say sorry and get you to forgive me since it's obvious you aren't even going to think about taking me back" at which point he said he was thinking about it
He said we would sort stuff tomorrow and hung up then phoned later and said he didn't want us to talk about what happened tomorrow and just wanted to carry on as normal.
Seriously confused. Anyone any ideas about what the hell is happening?
umm he's a control freak? and you are doing exactly what he wants you to do... he wants you to say 'im so sorry, i was completely wrong, you're always right blah blah blah' so he can go 'ok...i can forgive you a bit and we can work on it' and then he'll be even more controlling and use this as emotional blackmail everytime you want to do something he doesn't want you to do, or everytime you have a small fight etc etc.
get him out of your life and make some friends so you don't ever feel like one person is your whole life, its dangerous to think that.
get him out of your life and make some friends so you don't ever feel like one person is your whole life, its dangerous to think that.
need_money
My (ex) bf foned me up earlier and told me to go to his tomorrow to pick up some things of mine, saying that it was so he wouldn't have to see me again. I got upset and we ended up on the phone for an hour, half talking, half arguing. He kept getting really wound up and hanging up but I kept phoning back coz I can't stand being hung up on.
It got to a point where I realised (from my point of view) that he was never going to forgive me. He said he still loved me but he was hurt and didn't think he could trust me anymore.
I said I had to go and then things changed and he was like "Why do you need to go?". Even though he had been apparently trying to get me to stop phoning all night. I said "Well I'm not wasting any more time trying to say sorry and get you to forgive me since it's obvious you aren't even going to think about taking me back" at which point he said he was thinking about it
He said we would sort stuff tomorrow and hung up then phoned later and said he didn't want us to talk about what happened tomorrow and just wanted to carry on as normal.
Seriously confused. Anyone any ideas about what the hell is happening?
It got to a point where I realised (from my point of view) that he was never going to forgive me. He said he still loved me but he was hurt and didn't think he could trust me anymore.
I said I had to go and then things changed and he was like "Why do you need to go?". Even though he had been apparently trying to get me to stop phoning all night. I said "Well I'm not wasting any more time trying to say sorry and get you to forgive me since it's obvious you aren't even going to think about taking me back" at which point he said he was thinking about it
He said we would sort stuff tomorrow and hung up then phoned later and said he didn't want us to talk about what happened tomorrow and just wanted to carry on as normal.
Seriously confused. Anyone any ideas about what the hell is happening?
He wanted attention. He got jealous and insecure about your ex. My ex was a bit like that. He cut the phone on you cause he knew you were gonna phone back. He knows you would not leave him. Trust me.
thesuperficial
umm he's a control freak? and you are doing exactly what he wants you to do... he wants you to say 'im so sorry, i was completely wrong, you're always right blah blah blah' so he can go 'ok...i can forgive you a bit and we can work on it' and then he'll be even more controlling and use this as emotional blackmail everytime you want to do something he doesn't want you to do, or everytime you have a small fight etc etc.
get him out of your life and make some friends so you don't ever feel like one person is your whole life, its dangerous to think that.
get him out of your life and make some friends so you don't ever feel like one person is your whole life, its dangerous to think that.
^^ Precisely. Remember, he dumped you for TALKING TO YOUR EX. And I really hate the word I'm about to use, but that is really LAME.
And as I said earlier, haven't you two had problems before?
Like others have said, this is classic controlling behaviour. He's obviously insecure so he's trying to make you "prove" you want to be with him by begging for him to come back to you. It's pathetic and he's just playing games. You have absolutely nothing to apologise for and yet he's making you jump through hoops. You did the right thing by saying you didn't want to apologise any more, and that made him wake up and realise that you wouldn't take any old **** that he throws at you.
My first suggestion would be to tell him to get stuffed, but if you don't want to do that, then you have to take back control. Tell him you have every right to talk to your ex (which you do) and if he's not happy about it, then he has to deal with it. He can't dictate who you can and can't talk to, and he certainly can't put you through hell for something so blameless. In the long run you'll probably realise you're better off without him, but for now, take a step back and take a rational look at the situation - he's tying you in knots over something stupid and you just have to tell him to get real.
My first suggestion would be to tell him to get stuffed, but if you don't want to do that, then you have to take back control. Tell him you have every right to talk to your ex (which you do) and if he's not happy about it, then he has to deal with it. He can't dictate who you can and can't talk to, and he certainly can't put you through hell for something so blameless. In the long run you'll probably realise you're better off without him, but for now, take a step back and take a rational look at the situation - he's tying you in knots over something stupid and you just have to tell him to get real.
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