Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Male friend has ditched me since getting a girlfriend - do I bother? Watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've been friends with this guy since childhood. In our early teens we dated for a while and broke up when we were 16. We're now 24! We've remained close, if not best, friends and always known each others partners etc. When I moved abroad for a year, he came to visit me for a few days and we had a great time.

    Anyway - I returned home from my year abroad 4 months ago. He lives in the same small town - and I haven't seen him once since! We had plans to meet up three times and he ended up blowing me off every time. "Sorry I can't make it again, when are you free?". And I told him it's him that's never free. Yet he's always tagged on facebook doing things with other people.

    I also understand that he is in the honeymoon stage of a relationship and I'm happy for him. But what sort of close friend doesn't make an effort to meet up when their friend has been back for 1/3 of a year and lives 10 mins away? I was dreaming about it last night! Apparently he's even been asking my other friends how I am! I'm pretty annoyed/upset to be honest.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    Stick around, he'll realise sooner than later that it was always meant to be bros before

    I guess he's settling into his relationship and he'll start doing what he does normally once he's not-so-smitten with his girlfriend and act casually.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    Stick around, he'll realise sooner than later that it was always meant to be bros before

    I guess he's settling into his relationship and he'll start doing what he does normally once he's not-so-smitten with his girlfriend and act casually.
    The thing is - he's never ditched me while in a relationship before. And he's still hanging out with all his other friends - just not me...
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The thing is - he's never ditched me while in a relationship before. And he's still hanging out with all his other friends - just not me...
    Have you tried hanging around with your friendship group also?

    Maybe he wants to dedicate some time to you alone so that he can fully talk you throw/gush like a little girl about his relationship, how life is etc.

    Don't make assumptions because you haven't heard anything bad yet
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    Have you tried hanging around with your friendship group also?

    Maybe he wants to dedicate some time to you alone so that he can fully talk you throw/gush like a little girl about his relationship, how life is etc.

    Don't make assumptions because you haven't heard anything bad yet
    Yeah, I have plenty of friends and plans. But he's been a close friend for a long time.

    I think you're definitely taking the kind view...I on the other hand - am pretty mad about the fact we last saw each other in April and he can't come say hello when I live 10 mins away? I'm not convinced I want to welcome him back with open arms if this is how he treats friends. Blowing me off three times is unreal...
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I have plenty of friends and plans. But he's been a close friend for a long time.

    I think you're definitely taking the kind view...I on the other hand - am pretty mad about the fact we last saw each other in April and he can't come say hello when I live 10 mins away? I'm not convinced I want to welcome him back with open arms if this is how he treats friends. Blowing me off three times is unreal...
    When he texts you just send blunt replies and hopefully he'll notice his mistakes like a good man should and be able to apologise and explain himself (with legit reasons).

    I understand your frustration, but as you said, you're 24 and you've both your own lives to lives. If you were to ask to see him and he blows you off again, just say 'right I'm going to stop asking, hit me up when you're free *peace sign emoji*'... that usually tends to make people deny they've done anything wrong and come to a reasonable date as to when you can meet
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Men lol wait till his honeymoon period is over he'll come running to you again.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 18, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Break up or unrequited love?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.