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I fall in love too easily with guys who show me a bit of kindness or affection Watch

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    Try not to rely on others to complete yourself or you'll never stop looking or get trodden in the dirt
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    Pfft, that's not love. You just get a crush and over think it.
    Don't make love something so cheap like all the people seem to do nowadays.
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    (Original post by Das Ich Man)
    Lol at the desperation. Believe me you don't want a girl who falls in love so easily. Think about it for a moment, if she falls in love so easily, how long does it take her to fall out of love? Never go for a girl who throws herself at you, she probably does it to other guys as well.
    (Original post by silverbolt)
    Really? You are so lacking in self worth that you want a girl who is so emotionally troubled she latches onto anything with nothing more than a kind word.

    So many guys in this thread being pathetic.

    OP, you need to find your own well being, as it stands are leaving yourself open to any emotionally stunted dipshidiot that comes along
    she didn't mention that she detaches easily too. :P

    Anyways, in a girl like her, most people would see "Easy girl, Free Test Drive, Limited Time Offer". That was my point :P Really perverted but.....welcome to the internets.
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    (Original post by Redsauce)
    In response to what you wrote, I personally think there's nothing wrong in falling for others a little while it's really what us humans are all about and just by really reading what you just wrote it made me know a little part of you there , you're just a person who appreciate/enjoys rawness so much you probably think it's an issue when in fact it's a bless but just as it is a bless it can also turn out to be a curse at some cases, when you love people/things around you with all your heart forgetting the fact that your soul needs your love just as much as you tend to give every human it becomes a curse..

    I simply just think the solution to your issue would be just as simple as " Start by admiring yourself instead" you look for love in others and that's wrong coz love is all there within your soul waiting for you to reach out for it..

    You should realize that you were born with fire inside you. You should cherish & love your spark.

    And please remember...

    * You are allowed to take out space for yourself coz you're a human.

    * You deserve to love and get loved in return coz you're a soul.

    * You are allowed to put your own needs first💕

    * You are allowed to love yourself..


    God bless you💕
    Love yourself first then everything else will follow trust me..I know , because I've been through this all
    Seems like a lot of gooey, semi-religious, emotional mumbo-jumbo.

    But I agree with some of it, OP, you may need to learn to respect & appreciate yourself more.

    (Original post by timelizard)
    i'm almost 100% sure its the latter; OP understands theyre being friendly, theyre questioning their own behaviour and not that of others
    I realise that, but sometimes issues like these are deeper rooted in the subconscious.

    (Original post by Devify)
    Pfft, that's not love. You just get a crush and over think it.Don't make love something so cheap like all the people seem to do nowadays.
    Loneliness makes even a flicker of affection, seem so much brighter.

    But yeah, it seems like she is obsessing over simple infatuation.
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    So many pathetic answers. Grow up.

    Yep you have 'daddy issues'.

    The effect on women who did not receive enough love and affirmation from their fathers is actually very serious. A lifetime of self-esteem and attachment issues as well as an unhealthy desire for male attention of any kind. If you also grew up without brothers you may find it very difficult to relate to men and struggle to get 'close' to them.

    Have professional counselling. Get help now so that these issues don't affect you for the rest of your life.
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    (Original post by zedeneye1)
    If only more girls were like you.....
    WOW brotha why so insecure
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is anyone else like this? If not, then do you have advice for me to stop being such a wuss?

    I do think there is something psychological in this, I get attached very easily I think because I did not receive affection, approval or kindness from my father. When a man in my life shows me even a hint of these things I fall head over heels in love I can't stop thinking about them even when they reject me as it's always in a friendly or situation appropriate manner (e.g. my old boss, my old male counsellor, male friends etc.). Although the guys would never know it's not like I blow up their phones or harass them but on the quiet I'm absolutely heartbroken and obsessed.

    I'm in my 20s now and I'm fed up of this. I've never been close to man in all my life. How can I stop acting like a fool so I can actually find a decent and healthy relationship?

    Thanks
    Ahh that happens to me too
    Do you get sexually attracted to them btw?
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    (Original post by The Joker ~)
    Really!!! :3

    *gives cookie here here~ *

    Did you fall for meh already? .-.
    If it were real life and you gave me a cookie then cupid would have probably shot me, yes. Sorry I don't get it online though
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    (Original post by jumpingjesusholycow)
    Cringe...



    Anyway, my advice is to focus on yourself for the time being. Make your priority being the best version of you you can be. That way, you'll respect yourself, your accomplishments and know you're worthy of the respect you receive from others and not merely seek out validation.

    I hope that was helpful
    I know what you mean but I've tried every self help method in the book and whilst I've improved myself I'm still fundamentally broken and wanting to fill a void. Maybe I am missing something....
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    (Original post by zedeneye1)
    If only more girls were like you.....
    No you don't and I don't let it show anyway you would never be able to tell me from any other girl. In fact I'm pretty much invisible to males but I do think I subconsciously hide away from men so someone gives me the slighest reason to feel safe then... Boom I like them.
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    (Original post by Das Ich Man)
    Lol at the desperation. Believe me you don't want a girl who falls in love so easily. Think about it for a moment, if she falls in love so easily, how long does it take her to fall out of love? Never go for a girl who throws herself at you, she probably does it to other guys as well.
    Wow I never said I throw myself at anyone. Actually if you read my OP I actually suffer in silence I just feel overwhelming emotion for them. When I said they reject me it's not because I made a move and they rebuffed me it's because of the situation I am usually in with them and its pretty obvious they see me as a client, friend, colleague etc.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No you don't and I don't let it show anyway you would never be able to tell me from any other girl. In fact I'm pretty much invisible to males but I do think I subconsciously hide away from men so someone gives me the slighest reason to feel safe then... Boom I like them.
    I thought I was the only one OP
    I've had a crush on every male I've met and some of them are not even possible to be potential candidates!
    So frustrating... and confusing
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    Just find a guy as clingy as yourself.
    I don't think there is such a thing As I stated in my OP I have no wish to continue being like this and what I want is a healthy and stable relationship which would not arise if we were both clingy.

    (Original post by EtherealNymph22)
    This is the definition of daddy issues.
    Okay yes I am aware that my 'daddy issues' are a major component of this that's why I mentioned it. But what would you have me do about it, then? Do you think it I tried to work on the actual relationship I have with my father that it might help? He's very stoic and it's hard to get through to him on any emotional level and often he will just get angry.
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    (Original post by S-man10)
    Falling out of love isn't always the same thing.

    To the OP: Date multiple guys at the same time. Just go out and get to know them. Nothing more. You will soon find out most of them are affectionate towards you and youll end up desensitising yourself to it.
    I've actually only been on a handful of dates in my life and I'm in my mid 20s. The thought of dating terrifies me. This is part of my problem though I have very little exposure to men as I hide away. For example I didn't even have a conversation with a man outside of my family or school/work context until I was 19. How would you recommend I even get started? I'm sorry I'm clueless

    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    There are plenty to choose from hehe
    I've never met an emotional man, let alone a clingy one. Then again my interactions with males is quite limited I do tend to stay away from them for some reason. That's why when one that I do have to interact with one e.g. my counsellor, a friend of a friend etc and they are nice to me I go potty.
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    (Original post by beautifulbigmacs)
    I'm absolutely disgusted at some of the immaturity shown in the replies to this thread. I know tsr has a youngish population but still.

    OP, the issue you describe is both common and easy to relate to for many I'm sure. A lack of emotional support from parents can manifest itself in all kinds of ways in an adults personal life, or indeed any area of life. You are not wrong for feeling how you feel although I understand that it can be painful and confusing.

    Sometimes the difficulty can remain even with counselling but it may still be worthwhile seeking some. I agree that seeking fulfilment in other areas of life such as hobbies and friends etc can help but all the same maybe some counselling could help.

    Wishing you well.
    Yes there are many other areas of my life it manifests too. Dating and relationships and the way that I interact with men is the obvious. But I'm generally very reserved and what some may describe as child-like, as part of me wants to stay small and innocent so my parents (especially dad) will still be affectionate towards me. I know that sounds messed up I also look very young on top and I don't feel like a fully grown woman. The thought of being a woman, and further to that being sexual can be quite daunting to me.

    I'm actually seeing a counsellor at the moment, female so there's no danger of me falling in love with this one I'm just doing 1/2 hour telephone consultations with her at the moment whilst I am away so I don't get the time to really go into things with her lately.

    (Original post by Longshot700)
    Doesn't matter, had sex.
    I'm abstinent...
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    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    It might stem from you not realising (on some deeper level)...

    1. Guys being nice/polite to you doesn't mean they are interested in an intimate relationship with you.
    2. You may value yourself so little that you find any guy who takes any interest in you/ shows any affection an attractive proposition, the rest is brain chemistry.

    PS It may also be something to do with, not seeing flaws or forgiving flaws in the opposite sex too easily?
    I think that is what I really need drum into my head. For some reason it's a tough pill to swallow.
    And the whole value thing... Yes whilst I want the men to like me back I also find it very scary the thought of someone actually been attracted to me, and what it might mean. It's confusing because whilst I do have sexual desires and stuff I don't see myself as a sexual being. I can't imagine anyone ever liking me in that way.

    (Original post by Conkerr)
    I'm like that too.

    Didn't have many people in my life who cared about me in the past so when I have a real friend I tend to care too much about them.
    It's the same for girls, when a girl does something that shows she might be interested in me, it's like I'm interested too even though 10 minutes before I couldn't care less about her. Unfortunately most of the time the girl is just being a tease...
    There was a long time where I would do anything for my friends as well but it only led to me becoming their favourite doormat. I've since wised up in that area and now I need to wise up in the relationship realm but I have very little experience with it.

    I suppose with girls some of them may just lure you in for the attention? I have to say that's pretty pathetic of them, but I would hope that such women becoming easier for you to spot initially with time?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I don't think there is such a thing As I stated in my OP I have no wish to continue being like this and what I want is a healthy and stable relationship which would not arise if we were both clingy.
    There is, but you're right it's not the answer. You're gonna have to force yourself to just stay out of relationships until you're confident that you aren't going to get attached to guys easily. You'll need to consciously push out any feelings you start to develop.
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    I'd be careful not to show that you do like some guys because players and psychopaths exist. Psychopaths love bomb you with so much attention and so many compliments, they learn your personality very well. All this to possess and exploit you. The damage to your spirit is bad, I speak from experience.
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    (Original post by Redsauce)
    In response to what you wrote, I personally think there's nothing wrong in falling for others a little while it's really what us humans are all about and just by really reading what you just wrote it made me know a little part of you there , you're just a person who appreciate/enjoys rawness so much you probably think it's an issue when in fact it's a bless but just as it is a bless it can also turn out to be a curse at some cases, when you love people/things around you with all your heart forgetting the fact that your soul needs your love just as much as you tend to give every human it becomes a curse..

    I simply just think the solution to your issue would be just as simple as " Start by admiring yourself instead" you look for love in others and that's wrong coz love is all there within your soul waiting for you to reach out for it..

    You should realize that you were born with fire inside you. You should cherish & love your spark.

    And please remember...

    * You are allowed to take out space for yourself coz you're a human.

    * You deserve to love and get loved in return coz you're a soul.

    * You are allowed to put your own needs first💕

    * You are allowed to love yourself..


    God bless you💕
    Love yourself first then everything else will follow trust me..I know , because I've been through this all
    Wow... It's like you just dipped into my soul before you wrote that because you seem to really understand how it is a blessing and yet a curse to give out and be drawn so heavily to rawness and openness. I guess it's a blessing that you need to bestow on yourself sometimes to stay protected. Thanks that really helped I actually copied the text onto my phone
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Is anyone else like this? If not, then do you have advice for me to stop being such a wuss?

    I do think there is something psychological in this, I get attached very easily I think because I did not receive affection, approval or kindness from my father. When a man in my life shows me even a hint of these things I fall head over heels in love I can't stop thinking about them even when they reject me as it's always in a friendly or situation appropriate manner (e.g. my old boss, my old male counsellor, male friends etc.). Although the guys would never know it's not like I blow up their phones or harass them but on the quiet I'm absolutely heartbroken and obsessed.

    I'm in my 20s now and I'm fed up of this. I've never been close to man in all my life. How can I stop acting like a fool so I can actually find a decent and healthy relationship?

    Thanks
    First of all, any man who doesn't show affection to their daughter doesn't know what being a man is. When I held my child in my arms for the first time, I knew that I would do everything I could to lift them up and let them know how much I loved them. That he missed out on that is very sad for him.

    Secondly, the fact that you recognize this shows you're self-aware and intelligent.

    That's not really advice, I know.

    You'll get there. Know that you're worthwhile and amazing. It's the same advice I'd give my daughter, after hugging her soundly and apologizing.
 
 
 
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