The Student Room Group

anyone else never been in love?

hola fools, any of you old lonely bachelors or spinsters out there? i wish i had loved someoen but alas i have never been in love. i would like to. is this normalal at age 21? i have had bfs but i dont really feel jealous or hurt if they inevitably cheat on me, i just dont care . and if i dump them or they dump me i am not hurt either and i feel emotionally just as friends. i think it is because men usually only want one thing from me and we dont have time to get to know each other before for it to be more than that, so when they see they arent gettting it and dump me, i dont feel hurt.

but is it normal to nothave loved anyne?

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Reply 1

I'm in love now, although I never thought I would be. I've never loved any guy before. I suppose one could say that anyone else I have been out with, I have only really been 'seeing', but I do truly love my bf. Have done since before I even really knew him. One day, you'll meet someone who you just go head ovr heels for. Trust me.
x

Reply 2

yes but has anyone else NOT?

Reply 3

Probably loads of people. What I'm trying to say is that one day you will meet someone with whom you will fall in love, or at least think you are in love. Don't expect it to happen on command, so to speak.

Reply 4

I haven't.

Reply 5

nope, never been in a relationship either.

mixed feelings about it really :smile:

Reply 6

yay! i think a lot of people especially young 'uns with bad crushes think they are in love, but is a 12 year old capable of love eg love as in a proper relationship, not just friends/family? i think there needs to be a sexual element to that love whic need not be acted on and preoccludes those under a certain age, surely?

for me it is that guys dont take the time to get to know me enoguh that i might love tehm they just sod off when they ee they arent getting any. so hence i haev nt loved a guy. but i wish i woud,

i think it is a very rare thing. and i also think that people who sleep around a lot, and have regular changes in bf are most likely not to hae been in love

Reply 7

You shouldn't be worried about not having been in love yet. Just be happy with who you are! The right person will come along when you least expect it :smile:

Reply 8

shinytoy, personally, from what I've seen of you; I believe that your problem lies in your attitude, not the fact you don't "put out".

Reply 9

Talya
You shouldn't be worried about not having been in love yet. Just be happy with who you are! The right person will come along when you least expect it :smile:


That is such a tired, worn out cliché, I honestly don't even know why I'm wasting my time pointing that out to you as I'm sure that you're already aware.

If you're in shinytoy's position, clichés do not help. They're just cheap cop-outs to make people feel like they've actually helped, when in reality they're just side-stepping anything productive.

Reply 10

i have a boyfriend but i don't love him yet. so i've never been in love. im 18

Reply 11

Nix!
shinytoy, personally, from what I've seen of you; I believe that your problem lies in your attitude, not the fact you don't "put out".


agreed,

shinytoy we've clashed in the past but im not saying this to be vindictive but you really do have a superior holier than thou attitude and you seem to be of the opinion of yourself that you are better than the rest of us for abstaining. You also seemingly have the opinion that all guys are only after one thing when thats simply not true in all cases. In some it is but many men dont just want sex (well they do but they are willing to wait). The fact that you dont emotionally let yourself get involved because you have this idea that men are hedonistic savages cant help your relationships either. You've been cheated on the past thats something that most of us know the pain of and yes it blooming hurts. But lifes all about chance and if you wont let yourself take that chance then you will never be in love.

But then i have been in love am currently in love and probably will love again. If you want to love then you ahnd that person a very sharp double edged sword. But thats love.

My girlfriend said it very well to me once before we got together

Love is giving someone the power to utterly destry but trusting them not to

Reply 12

Leave love alone. Trust me.

Reply 13

shinytoy
i think it is because men usually only want one thing from me and we dont have time to get to know each other before for it to be more than that, so when they see they arent gettting it and dump me


Perhaps they are not dumping you because they are getting nothing from you, rather your general attitude. If you're actively forcing yourself to be like this people might see you as a bitch and move on.

Reply 14

shinytoy
hola fools, any of you old lonely bachelors or spinsters out there? i wish i had loved someoen but alas i have never been in love. i would like to. is this normalal at age 21? i have had bfs but i dont really feel jealous or hurt if they inevitably cheat on me, i just dont care . and if i dump them or they dump me i am not hurt either and i feel emotionally just as friends. i think it is because men usually only want one thing from me and we dont have time to get to know each other before for it to be more than that, so when they see they arent gettting it and dump me, i dont feel hurt.

but is it normal to nothave loved anyne?


You don't sound like you've ever been out with someone you've truly had any feelings for. I'm not saying that in an accusatory way...just stating the fact. It's not surprising that you haven't been in love with any of them.

Reply 15

Bah - love just means not getting to have sex with other people. And that I can do without...

Reply 16

why is it that when shinytoy makes a post people jump on at her for her "attitude" just because she is strict about her beliefs. What if she was a Muslim, would you say she needed to drop her holier than thou attitude about drinking beer and eating pork?

When people say guys are going to be put off her because they're not getting any....no sh-t sherlock! those are not going to be the kind of guys that a strict Catholic girl is going to be suited to anyway are they?

fair play to shinytoy for sticking to her religion in the face of other people not understanding it.

Yeah I don't think I've ever really been in love to be honest shinytoy, I'm 27. I think I've been in obsession once or twice but if I have been in love then I'm a bit disappointed because its not the concept I have in my head about love. 90% of people who say they are in love really mean they like the idea of being in love so they say it to try and convince themselves - you can always tell the ones who are bullsihting because they are the ones who bang on about how much in love with their bfs they are at every possible occasion...then they will split up. When people have really got a good thing going they tend to keep quiet about it. As with many things empty vessels make the most noise

Reply 17

Shinytoy, maybe you are acting too desperate for a man. Men are generally turned off girls who act to desperate. Maybe you aren't trying to act desperate but subconsciously you are. Men will pick this up....they are good at picking up bad vibes. Not every guy wants only one thing, even though many do. You must attract the wrong type. We have all done it in the past but eventually you will find someone who will love you :smile:. Everybody has the chance to find love, even if it takes awhile.

Reply 18

I've never been in love, despite having a slept with a list of women longer than my arm.

Just kidding, but really, I've never been in love, sucks :frown:

Reply 19

Leave it