This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Envy Or Idolization?
- Is it normal to feel jealous of those who have a wonderful social life?
- insecurities ; how to overcome them as a teen girl?
- Jealousy in Uni/Long Distance Relationship
- Othello a level helpppp
- Othello A-level critics
- Am I being really selfish
- Manhwas
- Why do I feel so jealous all the time
- Why am I as a girl jealous of guys I’m attracted to???
- TSR Quiz of The Week #176 (30th November 2024)
- A level English literature : Othello URGENT QUESTION
- tease a girl about a guy
- My girlfriend never gets jealous?
- Friendship Jealousy?
- why are guys with their first for so long?
- Does he like me? #Sixthform #Year12 #Finance
- Why my friend constantly bring up her bestie?
- Is anyone else still waiting for a reply from Cambridge?
- Revealing clothes
jealousy grrrr!
as much as i try, i can't help feeling jealous of my boyfriends female friends. there's one in particular who i absolutely cannot stand & i havent even met the girl! she can leave him msgs on facebook asking him if he wants to do something the next day or even just asking how he is & i get so upset about it. i know nothing will ever happen between them yet i still get worried that perhaps he might start to enjoy spending more time with her than me. i feel as though i'm competing with her to an extent (i know that makes me sound really mad) because i feel under pressure to be funny, make him laugh etc. like she does.
what can i do to stop myself feeling like this? i know it's all down to insecurity on my part & i'm aware that my boyfriend isn't actually doing anything wrong.
what can i do to stop myself feeling like this? i know it's all down to insecurity on my part & i'm aware that my boyfriend isn't actually doing anything wrong.
Scroll to see replies
It's natural feelings 
But just keep telling yourself that nothing will happen
I personally feel jelous over one of my boyfriends best friends who is female. Though it's not the fact of anything will happen between the two of them but I feel I have to compete with her to be his best friend aswell as girlfriend (doesn't help that all of his friends love her and think she's the best girl ever so I feel I'm always compared to her
But I just remember I have never met her, I'm never going to meet her in the near future, and if her name gets mentioned one more time I'm going to hit whoever mentions her....
Right sorry I've had a rant on your thread...please accept my appolgise.
But yea just remember your your boyfriends number 1 girl
Roxi, listen to your own advise.....
But just keep telling yourself that nothing will happen I personally feel jelous over one of my boyfriends best friends who is female. Though it's not the fact of anything will happen between the two of them but I feel I have to compete with her to be his best friend aswell as girlfriend (doesn't help that all of his friends love her and think she's the best girl ever so I feel I'm always compared to her
But I just remember I have never met her, I'm never going to meet her in the near future, and if her name gets mentioned one more time I'm going to hit whoever mentions her....Right sorry I've had a rant on your thread...please accept my appolgise.
But yea just remember your your boyfriends number 1 girl
Roxi, listen to your own advise.....
oh my goodness i'm totally going though EXACTLY the same thing! all his friends luv her so i even feel as though i have to try & win over them aswell! it's so stupid. have you tried talking to your boyfriend about it?
foxiroxi
It's natural feelings But just keep telling yourself that nothing will happen
I personally feel jelous over one of my boyfriends best friends who is female. Though it's not the fact of anything will happen between the two of them but I feel I have to compete with her to be his best friend aswell as girlfriend (doesn't help that all of his friends love her and think she's the best girl ever so I feel I'm always compared to her But I just remember I have never met her, I'm never going to meet her in the near future, and if her name gets mentioned one more time I'm going to hit whoever mentions her....
Right sorry I've had a rant on your thread...please accept my appolgise.
But yea just remember your your boyfriends number 1 girl
Roxi, listen to your own advise.....
But just keep telling yourself that nothing will happen I personally feel jelous over one of my boyfriends best friends who is female. Though it's not the fact of anything will happen between the two of them but I feel I have to compete with her to be his best friend aswell as girlfriend (doesn't help that all of his friends love her and think she's the best girl ever so I feel I'm always compared to her
But I just remember I have never met her, I'm never going to meet her in the near future, and if her name gets mentioned one more time I'm going to hit whoever mentions her....Right sorry I've had a rant on your thread...please accept my appolgise.
But yea just remember your your boyfriends number 1 girl
Roxi, listen to your own advise.....
pollystyrene07
oh my goodness i'm totally going though EXACTLY the same thing! all his friends luv her so i even feel as though i have to try & win over them aswell! it's so stupid. have you tried talking to your boyfriend about it?
TBH I haven't because the last thing I want to do is end up slagging her off. As said she is one of his best friends and her boyfriend is his other best friend, the 3 of them went to school together and have been though loads together and I really feel that if I remoatly start saying anything about her it will end with an argument.
I've tried talking to him but it very closely ended up as an argument along the A1(m) in the car with parents and brother
Wish I could talk to him aswell.
Doesn't help that I hate the fact that from what I've heard about her is not normally a girl I get on with. she's very much one of the lads (hence why they all love her) but I'm very much a girl! (I'm pretty sure!
) and can't compeat with her. (My goood god it's like a competition )Well hopefully the only time I will have to meet her is if I marry my boyfriend. Thats if she would bother to fly over here to come!
As i stated to another person on these forums, throughout the whole of your life, your partner is gonna have female friends, same way you will have close male friends. If you trust him enough, then the other girl can do what the hell she wants, coz at the end of the day, he's with you. Thats what you need to remember.
My girlfriend was extremely close to her ex boyfriend for years into our relationship, i had to see him about 2-3 times a month for 3years. They would hug when they saw each other, make personal jokes which only they knew about, and deep down it killed me, almost to the point where i wanted to drink myself stupid every day. BUT she told me, that at the end of the day, she had the upmost respect for my handling of the situation and that most blokes would have knocked him out. (what all my mates were telling me to do). I allowed her to meet him on her own and go clubbing, go for meals, coz i truly trusted her and loved her to pieces.
And like you say yourself, it actually keeps you on your toes, you make sure that all the clothes you wear are nice and you dont ever let your appearance drop. But unfortunately its something you will have to deal with personally, its damm hard and extremely painfull, trust me, even to this day when his names mentioned inside i die and i wanna kill him BUT inside i knew she loved me and would never ever cheat on me.
If anything when you meet her, give her a nice big smile knowing deep down at the back of your head, its you he loves, its you he spends most time with, its you he will probably wake up to in the morning and she's no where near getting that special bond you have!!!!
My girlfriend was extremely close to her ex boyfriend for years into our relationship, i had to see him about 2-3 times a month for 3years. They would hug when they saw each other, make personal jokes which only they knew about, and deep down it killed me, almost to the point where i wanted to drink myself stupid every day. BUT she told me, that at the end of the day, she had the upmost respect for my handling of the situation and that most blokes would have knocked him out. (what all my mates were telling me to do). I allowed her to meet him on her own and go clubbing, go for meals, coz i truly trusted her and loved her to pieces.
And like you say yourself, it actually keeps you on your toes, you make sure that all the clothes you wear are nice and you dont ever let your appearance drop. But unfortunately its something you will have to deal with personally, its damm hard and extremely painfull, trust me, even to this day when his names mentioned inside i die and i wanna kill him BUT inside i knew she loved me and would never ever cheat on me.
If anything when you meet her, give her a nice big smile knowing deep down at the back of your head, its you he loves, its you he spends most time with, its you he will probably wake up to in the morning and she's no where near getting that special bond you have!!!!
pumpkin7
SHE has a boyfriend...
i doubt she's much of a threat tbh.
wtf.. she doesn't even live in this country!>???!!?!
gah you have nothing to worry about.. a few messages on the internet is neither here or there tbh.
i doubt she's much of a threat tbh.
wtf.. she doesn't even live in this country!>???!!?!
gah you have nothing to worry about.. a few messages on the internet is neither here or there tbh.
Afew messages on the internet is no problem.
a phone call....nno problem what so ever
Her name being mentioned in coversation just after sex with boyfriend? Problem!
Her life story being told? I don't care!
Being told how great she is while I'm sitting with people I don't know in a different country, away from home with my boyfriend off levaing me on my own? Huge problem that started my envy of her...
Oh also when his considering paying for her flight to see him whilst his on holiday.....
Sorry I can't help but feel jelous of her and hate her because I want the same attention she gets....
^ BIG respect for that (Darren Marc). I could never let a boyfriend go out with his ex by themselves. So I respect that a lot!
If anything when you meet her, give her a nice big smile knowing deep down at the back of your head, its you he loves, its you he spends most time with, its you he will probably wake up to in the morning and she's no where near getting that special bond you have!!!!
Excellent is all I shall say to that!
You need to stop being so jealous otherwise you will lose him, he's with you because he wants you. If you can't trust him then the relationship will not work.
So many of my friends cant believe i let her go out with her ex-clubbing or that i let her go clubbing on her own. WHY? People seem to get this impression that just coz a partner goes out on weekend drinking without them, that they're gonna cheat or people are gonna try it on. SO what? Trust again and again and again, its all that matters! I'm sorry but from my previous employment, Ive seen more people cheat at work than at clubs at the weekend, I find work more of a threat to a relationship than clubs.
Like i said before, you can't spend every hour with someone, if they're gonna cheat, they will allow it to happen and there's nothing you can do about it. People in general need to stop worrying about what might happen and focus more on what is happening!
Like i said before, you can't spend every hour with someone, if they're gonna cheat, they will allow it to happen and there's nothing you can do about it. People in general need to stop worrying about what might happen and focus more on what is happening!
that's really good advice & i totally admire you because it takes a very strong, confident person to be able to do that. i however am nor confident or strong therefore if i ever met her i don't think i could ever bring myself to be remotely friendly towards her. i hate feeling like this & i dont need reminded by people that i might lose him coz that makes me feel, inevitibly, worse. unlike foxi, this girl doesn't have a boyfriend which makes me feel even more apprehensive about their friendship. he gets messages from really attractive girls with 5 kisses at the end but if their in a relationship it doesn't bother me. if they are 'single' and 'interested in men' however ,then it does bother me lol
Darren Marc
As i stated to another person on these forums, throughout the whole of your life, your partner is gonna have female friends, same way you will have close male friends. If you trust him enough, then the other girl can do what the hell she wants, coz at the end of the day, he's with you. Thats what you need to remember.
My girlfriend was extremely close to her ex boyfriend for years into our relationship, i had to see him about 2-3 times a month for 3years. They would hug when they saw each other, make personal jokes which only they knew about, and deep down it killed me, almost to the point where i wanted to drink myself stupid every day. BUT she told me, that at the end of the day, she had the upmost respect for my handling of the situation and that most blokes would have knocked him out. (what all my mates were telling me to do). I allowed her to meet him on her own and go clubbing, go for meals, coz i truly trusted her and loved her to pieces.
And like you say yourself, it actually keeps you on your toes, you make sure that all the clothes you wear are nice and you dont ever let your appearance drop. But unfortunately its something you will have to deal with personally, its damm hard and extremely painfull, trust me, even to this day when his names mentioned inside i die and i wanna kill him BUT inside i knew she loved me and would never ever cheat on me.
If anything when you meet her, give her a nice big smile knowing deep down at the back of your head, its you he loves, its you he spends most time with, its you he will probably wake up to in the morning and she's no where near getting that special bond you have!!!!
My girlfriend was extremely close to her ex boyfriend for years into our relationship, i had to see him about 2-3 times a month for 3years. They would hug when they saw each other, make personal jokes which only they knew about, and deep down it killed me, almost to the point where i wanted to drink myself stupid every day. BUT she told me, that at the end of the day, she had the upmost respect for my handling of the situation and that most blokes would have knocked him out. (what all my mates were telling me to do). I allowed her to meet him on her own and go clubbing, go for meals, coz i truly trusted her and loved her to pieces.
And like you say yourself, it actually keeps you on your toes, you make sure that all the clothes you wear are nice and you dont ever let your appearance drop. But unfortunately its something you will have to deal with personally, its damm hard and extremely painfull, trust me, even to this day when his names mentioned inside i die and i wanna kill him BUT inside i knew she loved me and would never ever cheat on me.
If anything when you meet her, give her a nice big smile knowing deep down at the back of your head, its you he loves, its you he spends most time with, its you he will probably wake up to in the morning and she's no where near getting that special bond you have!!!!
thats life unfortunately, and its something that you will have to deal with, like i say, i mentally had to be extremely strong when i saw him coz the rage inside of me wanted to smack him, especially when he hugged her. But i knew what i had to do, and that was deal with it. I drank on my own in my room till i cried most nights till i realised that i was depressing myself about something that hasn't actually happened at all. I told my partner how i felt and that i was learn to deal with it as a man (so to speak) and that was what i did. And like i say, it made our relationship much stronger for it coz i learnt deep down, just how much she meant to me, and i didn't wanna let her go. So by giving her space and time with her friends, she would come to me and respect my understanding of the situation. And because i didnt lamp him and actually tried to become friends with him, it made the situation that more easier to deal with (even though it was extremely hard)
pumpkin7
o.O the green eyed jealousy monster rears it's ugly head once again.
don't let your boyfriend know about this.. jealousy can ruin you in the blink of an eye.
don't let your boyfriend know about this.. jealousy can ruin you in the blink of an eye.
jealousy ends up spoiling things for me lol, although nowadays i believe if someone is gonna cheat or go off with someone else, they will do it, no matter what you do.
TheShrimp
Maybe you should ask to meet this girl? You might turn out to be good friends! (<<< optimistic thinking...)
indeed, thats what i did and it did help. Think of it like a Trojan horse, it allows you if you are friends with her, to know what she's thinking, doing, plans etc Then when you are all together, you can hug your boyfriend and be over affectionate to him in front of her, with the knowledge you're his.
Jealousy's a ****, isn't it. I know my bf wouldn't cheat on me, but still I get paranoid about his uni friends. I guess it makes it more difficult for me as I only see him every other week-ish. I just hate it, and I hate myself for it every time it nags at me. I wouldn't dream of saying anything to him ever, because I know that it's all in my head.
i know how u feel, was in a situation similar, however i know how hard it can be but i sometimes think that if his girlmates knew he has a gf they should back off too, i did when my boymates got gfs, its all about respecting what the two of u have together, but also realise that he is with you and not with them x
ells_bells
but i sometimes think that if his girlmates knew he has a gf they should back off too
I see your point, but some people will say "how far should they back off?", just coz one of them hugs him or sends him a text message saying they want to meet him, ended in 4 kisses doesn't mean they're gonna strip in front of him and have him. Why shouldn't he get messages from other girls?
Related discussions
- Envy Or Idolization?
- Is it normal to feel jealous of those who have a wonderful social life?
- insecurities ; how to overcome them as a teen girl?
- Jealousy in Uni/Long Distance Relationship
- Othello a level helpppp
- Othello A-level critics
- Am I being really selfish
- Manhwas
- Why do I feel so jealous all the time
- Why am I as a girl jealous of guys I’m attracted to???
- TSR Quiz of The Week #176 (30th November 2024)
- A level English literature : Othello URGENT QUESTION
- tease a girl about a guy
- My girlfriend never gets jealous?
- Friendship Jealousy?
- why are guys with their first for so long?
- Does he like me? #Sixthform #Year12 #Finance
- Why my friend constantly bring up her bestie?
- Is anyone else still waiting for a reply from Cambridge?
- Revealing clothes
Latest
Trending
Last reply 1 month ago
Engineering vs. Medicine: Stuck Between Dreams and ExpectationsLast reply 1 month ago
heyyy , im new heree and im willing to have some friends xxxLast reply 1 month ago
Im 16 and never had a gf and it doesnt feel ok.