Have you ever ghosted someone?

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Because he isn't probably, she's probably just simplified a very complex relationship where she had moments of happiness into 'he was the most awful person in the world' - it does help one cope

thanks for going in and telling him you basically know more about my past than I do, he truly was an awful person. you know nothing about me or my past relationship, so don't presume to.

Reply 21

Das Ich Man

Original post by SophieSmall

thanks for going in and telling him you basically know more about my past than I do, he truly was an awful person. you know nothing about me or my past relationship, so don't presume to.

Yeah because you are so objective / detached from this that we can trust your perspective.

Reply 22

Imperion

Never but have been it's just gutting tbh :s-smilie:

Reply 23

username1854431

I often do. I'm ambiverted and although I like being at the centre of attention, sometimes I want my alone time :yes:

Reply 24

SophieSmall

Original post by Das Ich Man

Yeah because you are so objective / detached from this that we can trust your perspective.

Well it was quite some times ago now and I have moved on enough to be objective I believe.

besides, I still very clearly know more about my own situation than you do. So again do not presume to know anything about me.

Reply 25

Zechs

Original post by SophieSmall

It really should have been that simple at the time, but it wasn't emotionally.

he was incredibly manipulative. And when a manipulative person gets a hold of you emotionally it's incredibly difficult to think straight. I look back on it now and don't have a clue why I let myself get into that situation. but it wasn't like that from the start, and that is how those people get to you. It starts off small and you feel silly for getting upset about things, they gaslight you into thinking your're the one in the wrong and crazy and it gets to the point you're apologising for the things they did. It's not something that happens overnight, it was carefully calculated and planned out by him over a long period of time.

now I look back on it, I am so glad I am out of that relationship, but in the end I was scared of him and I ended up just waiting for him to leave again because I was scared of what he would do if I dared to leave him.

Sounds real bad but it seems a lot of girls ignore good guys for fellas like your ex. Some people don't know what a healthy relationship is.

Reply 26

acupofgreentea

No. The few times I've cut off contact with someone, I've sent them a message explaining beforehand what I was going to do, why I was doing it and wishing them the best - I know some might not agree with that method, but I'd rather that than cutting them off with no explanation.

One person did once send me a lovely text in response, calling me a variety of lovely names, so that was nice - at that point, I replied with, "Thank you for reminding me why I'm doing this" and deleted her number.

I've been ghosted myself a couple of times, though.

Reply 27

SophieSmall

Original post by Mancini

Sounds real bad but it seems a lot of girls ignore good guys for fellas like your ex. Some people don't know what a healthy relationship is.

I'd disagree, situations that bad while not exactly unheard of I do not think are close to "a lot of girls" or even remotely normal. And like I said, it wasn't like that from the beginning, it was difficult to see what was happening until I was in the thick of it. I know what warning signs to look out for now, and I know what I need to do in future if I ever find a guy like that again. And don't forget, these situations happen to men too, it's not just women who end up in abusive relationships. If I recall correctly around 40% of domestic abuse cases are estimated to be the female being the abuser. And that is just domestic abuse, not including only emotional abuse.

I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship with a guy now, he treats me exactly how I deserve to be treated (with respect and honesty) and in return I treat him the same.

Reply 28

ByronicHero

No, I've never managed to play any streamers yet. Hopefully I will run into Savjz or Krepo soon.

Reply 29

Zechs

Original post by acupofgreentea

Bit cold guess at least you gave them an explanation doesn't stop it being cold.

Reply 30

Anonymous #2

I have and am currently ghosting multiple people... This probably makes me sound like a horrible person but sometimes there are just people you grow apart from or just need to cut out of your life. One of them specifically I've known for years and we used to be pretty close, but within the last 5 years or so, I realised that she just really started to piss me off and I could t put my finger on it until other people pointed it out, she was extremely controlling, very immature, to the point of embarrassing me and herself in public (like singing on the bus, and just not stopping, no matter how obvious I make it that it's annoying other people) not to mention other personal facts that I won't disclose in public, but I guess I finally just grew out of her and now I'm just cutting all contact aside from the occasional text when she texts me, which is like 3 times a year...

There are other friends that I'm ghosting too but they aren't as close... Maybe I have really low tolerance for immaturity but I seem to have an acquired taste for personalities these days :s-smilie:

Reply 31

xylas

Original post by SophieSmall

And don't forget, these situations happen to men too, it's not just women who end up in abusive relationships. If I recall correctly around 40% of domestic abuse cases are estimated to be the female being the abuser. And that is just domestic abuse, not including only emotional abuse.

Only 40%? You sure it's not 50-50?

Reply 32

SophieSmall

Original post by xylas

Only 40%? You sure it's not 50-50?

I didn't make the estimates so I have no idea, that's just the figure I've seen.

Reply 33

xylas

Original post by SophieSmall

I didn't make the estimates so I have no idea, that's just the figure I've seen.

Do you agree with it? What's the source?

Reply 34

SophieSmall

Original post by xylas

Do you agree with it? What's the source?

I don't have any opinionated position on it as it's a statistic. I don't remember the source I just remember the statistic, but if you find a different reliable source that says otherwise I'll happily change my comment.

Reply 35

xylas

Original post by SophieSmall

I would always check something like that before you say it public.

http://www.saveservices.org/2012/02/cdc-study-more-men-than-women-victims-of-partner-abuse/

This study has a 40% statistic in it but it is completely different to what you said.

In fact it says more men than women are victims of physical violence from their partners.

Reply 36

Das Ich Man

Original post by SophieSmall

I apologise for my abrasive behaviour :smile:

Reply 37

peedie pixie

I ghosted a guy i went on a couple dates with in 2014, he got back in touch with me in august 2015 after not speaking for like 10 months. He's now my boyfriend haha

Reply 38

acupofgreentea

Original post by Mancini

Bit cold guess at least you gave them an explanation doesn't stop it being cold.

Here's the thing - it takes a lot for me to cut off contact with someone. To reference the person I talked about, I'd put up with so much from them, even though all I recieved was abuse for my efforts - the rest of our friendship group had cut off contact with her long before I did and encouraged me to do the same for quite a while before I eventually did.

Looking back, she didn't deserve an explanation, but I gave her one regardless. I was as warm as the circumstances allowed - I explained why I was doing it, but that I really wanted the best for her.

Afterwards, I felt awful for cutting off contact and wondered whether it was the right choice. When she sent me the horrible reply, it made me realize what I'd done was right - after I realized that, I had no problem being blunt because I realized she'd never done anything to warrant me being nice to her.

I can be a bit of a doormat, so this was a massive step for me - I promise you, under the circumstances cutting contact with people has occured, I've been much warmer than they've deserved.

Like I said, though, I know some don't agree with explaining things before you cut someone out - personally, I don't like the idea of not giving one. I mean, you're cutting off contact with someone - it's quite hard to be nice about that, explanation or no. :redface: