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Have you ever ghosted someone? Watch

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    I ghost people as I tend to do a slow fade but I did a particularly harsh cut when someone had consistently disappointed me for a good while and they messaged me but I just couldn't deal with them anyway as I was in a bad place. Dealing with their ways would have been the last straw.

    Ghosting shouldn't necessarily be looked on as being done by the 'perpetrator' or the 'mean' one it's often done by someone making a last ditch attempt to preserve themselves in the face of someone else having been pretty intolerable for a while.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    hmm interesting I'll give it a read. Thanks.
    No problem. I've also made a thread based on this topic since I found it interesting

    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show....php?t=3843661
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    (Original post by acupofgreentea)
    Here's the thing - it takes a lot for me to cut off contact with someone. To reference the person I talked about, I'd put up with so much from them, even though all I recieved was abuse for my efforts - the rest of our friendship group had cut off contact with her long before I did and encouraged me to do the same for quite a while before I eventually did.

    Looking back, she didn't deserve an explanation, but I gave her one regardless. I was as warm as the circumstances allowed - I explained why I was doing it, but that I really wanted the best for her.

    Afterwards, I felt awful for cutting off contact and wondered whether it was the right choice. When she sent me the horrible reply, it made me realize what I'd done was right - after I realized that, I had no problem being blunt because I realized she'd never done anything to warrant me being nice to her.

    I can be a bit of a doormat, so this was a massive step for me - I promise you, under the circumstances cutting contact with people has occured, I've been much warmer than they've deserved.

    Like I said, though, I know some don't agree with explaining things before you cut someone out - personally, I don't like the idea of not giving one. I mean, you're cutting off contact with someone - it's quite hard to be nice about that, explanation or no.
    Define abuse in this situation ?

    To be honest this sounds like some mean girls ****.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    I ghost people as I tend to do a slow fade but I did a particularly harsh cut when someone had consistently disappointed me for a good while and they messaged me but I just couldn't deal with them anyway as I was in a bad place. Dealing with their ways would have been the last straw.

    Ghosting shouldn't necessarily be looked on as being done by the 'perpetrator' or the 'mean' one it's often done by someone making a last ditch attempt to preserve themselves in the face of someone else having been pretty intolerable for a while.
    That's a good point actually and I think in one of my comment on this thread I was a little bit too quick to jump on the "if you ghost you're a ****" train, I think it really does depend on the situation now you've said that. But for some reason when I read the OP I only associated ghosting with the ghoster being an ******** because those were the only situations I had experience with.
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    Yep. That is why I have no friends.
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    Man you people need some hobbies
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Define abuse in this situation ?

    To be honest this sounds like some mean girls **** probably you were all *****es.
    Okay ... wow. I thought you were merely politely disagreeing with how I handled the situation, but that's just rude - you've never met me or - as far as I know - interacted with me on TSR before now, what makes you think you have the right to make such judgements?

    To clarify, I'm twenty and on an adult course - the person in question was 30+ and our other friends are around that age. It wasn't high school drama.

    I'm not going into detail, but her behaviour was awful. I've had a lot of experience with abuse - I'm aware of what it means.
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    (Original post by acupofgreentea)
    Okay ... wow. I thought you were merely politely disagreeing with how I handled the situation, but that's just rude - you've never met me or - as far as I know - interacted with me on TSR before now, what makes you think you have the right to make such judgements?

    To clarify, I'm twenty and on an adult course - the person in question was 30+ and our other friends are around that age. It wasn't high school drama.

    I'm not going into detail, but her behaviour was awful. I've had a lot of experience with abuse - I'm aware of what it means.
    Define awful behaviour in this situation.

    I can call you what I want, I can even call you a bulbasaur, just answer the question at hand.

    A ***** can be of any age , a ***** is not defined by age.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    Define awful behaviour in this situation.

    I can call you what I want, I can even call you a bulbasaur, just answer the question at hand.

    A ***** can be of any age , a ***** is not defined by age.
    Yes, you can technically call you me anything you want, but that doesn't give you the right to.

    You don't know me or the situation - I've finally realized cutting off contact was the right thing to do and no, I'm not going to explain what she did because I don't need you to justify my actions.

    If you're going to continue being needlessly rude, I think we're done here.
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    (Original post by acupofgreentea)
    Yes, you can technically call you me anything you want, but that doesn't give you the right to.

    You don't know me or the situation - I've finally realized cutting off contact was the right thing to do and no, I'm not going to explain what she did because I don't need you to justify my actions.

    If you're going to continue being needlessly rude, I think we're done here.
    You are not going to tell us what she did because it was probably nothing and I do have the right to call you whatever.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    You are not going to tell us what she did because it was probably nothing and I do have the right to call you whatever I like I can call you a big vagina if I want, you big dildo lool.
    You should write a book: How to Become an *******

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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    That's a good point actually and I think in one of my comment on this thread I was a little bit too quick to jump on the "if you ghost you're a ****" train, I think it really does depend on the situation now you've said that. But for some reason when I read the OP I only associated ghosting with the ghoster being an ******** because those were the only situations I had experience with.
    Aw no don't worry hun it didn't seem like what you were saying was wrong at any point you were just speaking from experience so was I. Don't listen to the guys claiming they know the guy you were talking about better than you do! I'm sorry you went through what you did with him I totally resonate with that kind of emotional abuse it's horrible I'm glad he's not in your life anymore! :hugs:
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    (Original post by Andy98)
    You should write a book: How to Become an *******

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I'll definetly write a kids book about how to become a star one day sure.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    You are not going to tell us what she did because it was probably nothing and I do have the right to call you whatever I like I can call you a big vagina if I want, you big dildo lool.
    And you know this from not knowing this person at all and having interacted with me through a couple of posts?

    If you want to believe that, fine. I'm fine with the decision I've made because I know it was warranted.

    Also, I will repeat - just because you can call someone something doesn't mean you have the right to. I've been nothing but polite to you.
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    I'll definetly write a kids book about how to become a star one day sure.
    Cool

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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Aw no don't worry hun it didn't seem like what you were saying was wrong at any point you were just speaking from experience so was I. Don't listen to the guys claiming they know the guy you were talking about better than you do! I'm sorry you went through what you did with him I totally resonate with that kind of emotional abuse it's horrible I'm glad he's not in your life anymore! :hugs:
    I love how some girls just believe things because another girl said it. It's like the Salem witch trials all over again.

    The same thing with rape , some women just want guys convicted because of their word lol scary stuff. If it comes out of a women's mouth it must be true lol.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    Aw no don't worry hun it didn't seem like what you were saying was wrong at any point you were just speaking from experience so was I. Don't listen to the guys claiming they know the guy you were talking about better than you do! I'm sorry you went through what you did with him I totally resonate with that kind of emotional abuse it's horrible I'm glad he's not in your life anymore! :hugs:
    Don't worry I don't let people get to me like that and at least that guy apologised...sincere or not I'm unsure haha.

    Thanks me too
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    (Original post by Mancini)
    I love how some girls just believe things because another girl said it. It's like the Salem witch trials all over again.

    The same thing with rape , some women just want guys convicted because of their word lol scary stuff. If it comes out of a women's mouth it must be true lol.
    You fool he's not on trial is he? It's not like she just gave us his name and address to hunt him down. All I did was give the girl the benefit of the doubt and I would have done the same if a guy was innocently recounting a difficult experience and others were discounting it like you are.

    I have had a guy open up to me about abuse... did I turn around and tell him 'whatever mate suck it up be a man' no!!! I showed him the affection I would show any other person in the same position.
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    (Original post by acupofgreentea)
    And you know this from not knowing this person at all and having interacted with me through a couple of posts?

    If you want to believe that, fine. I'm fine with the decision I've made because I know it was warranted.

    Also, I will repeat - just because you can call someone something doesn't mean you have the right to. I've been nothing but polite to you.
    Lool when one reads a news item or any piece of writing online, one has the right to speculate in whatever way one wants.

    I repeat to you, I can call you whatever I want. In the real world it's not like TSR we definetly have the right to offend.

    You should stop taking my words so seriously , it's all a joke.
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    (Original post by Little Popcorns)
    You fool he's not on trial is he? It's not like she just gave us his name and address to hunt him down. All I did was give the girl the benefit of the doubt and I would have done the same if a guy was innocently recounting a difficult experience and others were discounting it like you are.

    I have had a guy open up to me about abuse... did I turn around and tell him 'whatever mate suck it up be a man' no!!! I showed him the affection I would show any other person in the same position.
    I find this hard to believe little popcorn.
 
 
 
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