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    So, I've already posted a question like this, but I still feel a bit unsure on what to do.
    Basically, I'm going to sixth form this year, meaning I'll be moving away from the all girls school that I currently attend. I am worried that I may struggle with the transition as I haven't spoken to a guy in nearly five years and, therefore, do not know how to act or what to say. Many of my friends say that they feel the same way and we often joke about how awkward we actually are. But, I feel as though almost no one is as genuinely terrified as I am (and I do know how utterly ridiculous that sounds). I also do know that 'boys are people too' and that I should just treat them normally, but how? I don't mean to sound hyperbolic when I say this either, but whenever I think of myself in that sort of situation, I actually start to panic a little/go into a minor state of anxiety, which (yet again, I know) sounds ridiculous.

    Any advice would be much appreciated
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    I went to an all girls school which also had boys in sixth form. My advice is just treat them in the same way you would do girls, except that you can't talk about certain stuff with them.
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    You'll be fine as long as you don't chase after guys
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I went to an all girls school which also had boys in sixth form. My advice is just treat them in the same way you would do girls, except that you can't talk about certain stuff with them.
    Thank you
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    (Original post by shawn_o1)
    You'll be fine as long as you don't chase after guys
    Ahaha thank you
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    Don't worry about it, guys don't bite Just be normal.
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    I'm "that quiet kid who sits at the back doing maths", so I'm not the type to advise on 'asking people out'.

    But on transitioning to sixth form, generally everyone is slightly nervous because it's a fairly new crowd and everyone's at a different stage in education in a different place. So don't worry about feeling less confident, because almost everyone will feel that way.
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    (Original post by KirstyBishop)
    So, I've already posted a question like this, but I still feel a bit unsure on what to do.
    Basically, I'm going to sixth form this year, meaning I'll be moving away from the all girls school that I currently attend. I am worried that I may struggle with the transition as I haven't spoken to a guy in nearly five years and, therefore, do not know how to act or what to say. Many of my friends say that they feel the same way and we often joke about how awkward we actually are. But, I feel as though almost no one is as genuinely terrified as I am (and I do know how utterly ridiculous that sounds). I also do know that 'boys are people too' and that I should just treat them normally, but how? I don't mean to sound hyperbolic when I say this either, but whenever I think of myself in that sort of situation, I actually start to panic a little/go into a minor state of anxiety, which (yet again, I know) sounds ridiculous.

    Any advice would be much appreciated
    Act like you were speaking to one of your friends, you know we are also civilised people.. At least, most of us.. I think.


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    (Original post by Student403)
    I'm "that quiet kid who sits at the back doing maths", so I'm not the type to advise on 'asking people out'.

    But on transitioning to sixth form, generally everyone is slightly nervous because it's a fairly new crowd and everyone's at a different stage in education in a different place. So don't worry about feeling less confident, because almost everyone will feel that way.

    Thank you!!
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    (Original post by Dima-Blackburn)
    Don't worry about it, guys don't bite Just be normal.
    ahaha thank you
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    Be a lesbian. Much easier.
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    (Original post by KirstyBishop)
    But, I feel as though almost no one is as genuinely terrified as I am (and I do know how utterly ridiculous that sounds). I also do know that 'boys are people too' and that I should just treat them normally, but how? I don't mean to sound hyperbolic when I say this either, but whenever I think of myself in that sort of situation, I actually start to panic a little/go into a minor state of anxiety, which (yet again, I know) sounds ridiculous.

    Any advice would be much appreciated
    First don't worry about feeling ridiculous, it's common to have some sort of social anxiety at this age about things you are experiencing for the first time. You haven't been around guys so you're going to feel nervous and worry about it. Even at mixed schools, boys/girls tend to hang around in groups of their own gender till their later teens and the early stages of mixing are tentative and awkward.

    It's something that just lessens through exposure to the opposite sex and you have to accept that you have some awkward moments and feel like you've made a fool of yourself some times but in the big scheme of your life this is when you are young and none of this gets remembered in years to come.

    If you're feeling panicky about it you have to first think what is really panicking you and reframe it and put it in context. Usually it's a mixture of two things: one fearing that nobody will like you and you will be lonely; on the other hand fearing that something will happen with someone and you'll feel out of your depth at progressing it because you're inexperienced.

    A couple of things to think about to reframe it: first you will meet a lot of people in your life, especially as your life situation changes; college, university, after graduating. Some people get nowhere with the opposite sex in one or more of those environments and then as they get older suddenly they find themselves in an environment that works. I found it easier as I got older: I was a bit awkward and didn't fit in at college, things got a bit better at uni but it was after I graduated that I found relationships and girls easier. I started getting told I was good looking and stuff which I never had at college.

    Second, when you're in your late teens things seem a bigger deal than when you're older because you lack the perspective that life teaches you. Crushes, rejection, feelings of loneliness are much more pronounced at that point. As you get older you recognise the pattern that life is basically about highs and lows and you've had times when you think nobody will ever like you or you will never get over a particular person, and you always do and move on, so it's still difficult but it's more manageable. It's hard to think of this when you are 16/17 but just remember that when you're 30 you will look back and think well the stuff I did, the people I fancied that did or didn't like me, were not really that significant in the scheme of my life, and I wasted a lot of stress about it when I could have just taken things less seriously. The 16/17 year olds that seem to enjoy themselves the most are the ones that have perspective early and don't take life events at this age too seriously.

    As for some practical advice on how to manage interactions: most stress about interacting with the opposite sex I think comes from viewing every interaction as something with an end goal in mind, so it's either a success or failure. You don't want to be in a situation where every time you meet a guy you see it as "does he fancy me? is there a chance?" and then feel sinking disappointment if the interaction doesn't go somewhere. Just interact with guys with no end goal in mind, other than the end goal of the fact you are building experience interacting with them. Also don't compare yourself with other girls like, "when I go out guys talk to my friends more than me, they seem to fancy them more than me...." as that just makes you feel bad about yourself and feeling bad about yourself makes it harder to interact well with people. You have to actively manage the way you think to yourself, to keep your confidence up, so don't let your mind chatter stuff like that, practice actively tuning it out and focusing on just having fun even if you don't get a boyfriend.

    Just laugh at awkward moments and stick with it and you will build experience and it will all click at some point
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    (Original post by MagicNMedicine)
    First don't worry about feeling ridiculous, it's common to have some sort of social anxiety at this age about things you are experiencing for the first time. You haven't been around guys so you're going to feel nervous and worry about it. Even at mixed schools, boys/girls tend to hang around in groups of their own gender till their later teens and the early stages of mixing are tentative and awkward.

    It's something that just lessens through exposure to the opposite sex and you have to accept that you have some awkward moments and feel like you've made a fool of yourself some times but in the big scheme of your life this is when you are young and none of this gets remembered in years to come.

    If you're feeling panicky about it you have to first think what is really panicking you and reframe it and put it in context. Usually it's a mixture of two things: one fearing that nobody will like you and you will be lonely; on the other hand fearing that something will happen with someone and you'll feel out of your depth at progressing it because you're inexperienced.

    A couple of things to think about to reframe it: first you will meet a lot of people in your life, especially as your life situation changes; college, university, after graduating. Some people get nowhere with the opposite sex in one or more of those environments and then as they get older suddenly they find themselves in an environment that works. I found it easier as I got older: I was a bit awkward and didn't fit in at college, things got a bit better at uni but it was after I graduated that I found relationships and girls easier. I started getting told I was good looking and stuff which I never had at college.

    Second, when you're in your late teens things seem a bigger deal than when you're older because you lack the perspective that life teaches you. Crushes, rejection, feelings of loneliness are much more pronounced at that point. As you get older you recognise the pattern that life is basically about highs and lows and you've had times when you think nobody will ever like you or you will never get over a particular person, and you always do and move on, so it's still difficult but it's more manageable. It's hard to think of this when you are 16/17 but just remember that when you're 30 you will look back and think well the stuff I did, the people I fancied that did or didn't like me, were not really that significant in the scheme of my life, and I wasted a lot of stress about it when I could have just taken things less seriously. The 16/17 year olds that seem to enjoy themselves the most are the ones that have perspective early and don't take life events at this age too seriously.

    As for some practical advice on how to manage interactions: most stress about interacting with the opposite sex I think comes from viewing every interaction as something with an end goal in mind, so it's either a success or failure. You don't want to be in a situation where every time you meet a guy you see it as "does he fancy me? is there a chance?" and then feel sinking disappointment if the interaction doesn't go somewhere. Just interact with guys with no end goal in mind, other than the end goal of the fact you are building experience interacting with them. Also don't compare yourself with other girls like, "when I go out guys talk to my friends more than me, they seem to fancy them more than me...." as that just makes you feel bad about yourself and feeling bad about yourself makes it harder to interact well with people. You have to actively manage the way you think to yourself, to keep your confidence up, so don't let your mind chatter stuff like that, practice actively tuning it out and focusing on just having fun even if you don't get a boyfriend.

    Just laugh at awkward moments and stick with it and you will build experience and it will all click at some point
    Thank you so much!! These are honestly some of the best and most useful pieces of advice that I've ever received on this issue, so, yet again, thank you so much!!
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    I only started making friends with girls when I started talking to them how I talked to the guys I knew

    Just gotta forget that there's a difference between them... which is only minimal anyway.
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    I only started making friends with girls when I started talking to them how I talked to the guys I knew

    Just gotta forget that there's a difference between them... which is only minimal anyway.
    Thank you!!
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    (Original post by Impressive)
    Act like you were speaking to one of your friends, you know we are also civilised people.. At least, most of us.. I think.


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    ahah thank you!!
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    (Original post by KirstyBishop)
    Ahaha thank you
    just be ur self. are u looking to get into a relationship or casual sex? that's what u have to ask ur self
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    (Original post by KirstyBishop)
    So, I've already posted a question like this, but I still feel a bit unsure on what to do.
    Basically, I'm going to sixth form this year, meaning I'll be moving away from the all girls school that I currently attend. I am worried that I may struggle with the transition as I haven't spoken to a guy in nearly five years and, therefore, do not know how to act or what to say. Many of my friends say that they feel the same way and we often joke about how awkward we actually are. But, I feel as though almost no one is as genuinely terrified as I am (and I do know how utterly ridiculous that sounds). I also do know that 'boys are people too' and that I should just treat them normally, but how? I don't mean to sound hyperbolic when I say this either, but whenever I think of myself in that sort of situation, I actually start to panic a little/go into a minor state of anxiety, which (yet again, I know) sounds ridiculous.

    Any advice would be much appreciated

    Just be yourself boys are idiots but some are mature others wierdos
    And try avoid the ones dat make fun of you or pretend to like you
    But boys at sixth form should mature tbh dont u agree b x
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    (Original post by nisha.sri)
    Just be yourself boys are idiots but some are mature others wierdos
    And try avoid the ones dat make fun of you or pretend to like you
    But boys at sixth form should mature tbh dont u agree b x
    Thank you!!
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    (Original post by KirstyBishop)
    Any advice would be much appreciated
    1. Never start a sentence with the word 'Basically', it doesn't reflect well on you

    2. Guys are human beings, just like you (albeit that at your age most guys are several years behind you in the maturity stakes)

    3. Take a deep breath and just listen, use good, healthy, and engaging body language (including and especially eye contact and uplifted posture), and talk about whatever you like (with a sensible amount of filtering). Pressure is on guys to impress, not girls
 
 
 
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