Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Would you allow your 15 year old daughter to have sex in her room? Watch

Announcements
  • View Poll Results: Would you allow your 15 year old daughter to have sex in her room?
    Yes
    53
    24.31%
    No
    165
    75.69%

    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by celloel)
    If I were the boys mother, I'd encourage him to have sex in my house. I'd want my child to be safe in both scenarios. Your point is irrelevant, in all honesty. It's obvious there will be one child having sex in a stranger's house - but it's better that it's not mine.
    It's actually not irrelevant but a very good point.
    Both parents from both ends may want this but ultimately they will choose and it may not even be your own house that ends up being the chosen home. Both parents can encourage their child to have sex in their houses but ultimately they can't have sex at both houses at once so they will choose which house meaning someone's parent will have to accept that there child is having sex in another's person's house, not theres. Unless one occasion is yours then the next occasion your child's partners home, even then you may not feel comfortable with them having sex there but they still will if this is their chosen place. (Even if your child's partner's home isn't ideal or 'safe'. )
    Unless you know the person's mother personally and the house your child is having sex in 'safe', it seems that you would feel uncomfortable with the situation from what you're stating. One parent will have to end up feeling uncomfortable because though both may want this, it can't happen. It may be you being in that position not your child's partner's parents.
    Your child may end up being the one having sex is in a strangers house because their partner's parents insisted, making them have to choose which place and they could choose the other house, not yours. See, it's a difficult situation. Both parents won't be comfortable unless they comprise and know each other's environments are safe. Even with this, you can't ever be sure unless you are there. You'd have to really trust those parents to allow this.
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    :lol:

    idk how I'll deal omg, I'm a slow one :getmecoat:

    Like I was flabbergasted when I found out my brother was growing pubic hair LOL, I'll be such an embarrassment when it comes to actual sexual stuff lol:
    Read self-help books about parenting in the twenty years prior.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Read self-help books about parenting in the twenty years prior.
    I'm already reserving the books in my local library catalogue :fyi:

    twenty years? More like 10, I want a child just before I hit 30 mate or maybe just after 30 idk
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by thecatwithnohat)
    I'm already reserving the books in my local library catalogue :fyi:

    twenty years? More like 10, I want a child just before I hit 30 mate or maybe just after 30 idk
    Allow ten years for the child to reach puberty, then leave to simmer for five minutes until pubes are tightly curled for maximal grossness.
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    17
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Allow ten years for the child to reach puberty, then leave to simmer for five minutes until pubes are tightly curled for maximal grossness.
    you lil nasty :rofl:
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Reading this makes me glad that my parents were easy to fool. :rofl: Technophobe parents for the win.
    haha no chance of fooling my mum. She doesn't miss anything! Even if I go to my room for a few minutes now she'll ask me what I'm doing.
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by EmmaStark)
    haha no chance of fooling my mum. She doesn't miss anything! Even if I go to my room for a few minutes now she'll ask me what I'm doing.
    What if she sees these posts you're making?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cherry82)
    This is going to be terribly long but if I may:

    Are you being serious right now or is this a joke?
    The funny thing is, until those agreeing with this actually have children- they're opinion on this matter will most likely change over time, I could bet on this with my whole life savings (though relatively small lol). But on a serious note, this sounds absurd to me. And the whole gender comment you're making, please explain that to me because a person's child is a person's child whether male or female. And though males can't get pregnant, they can still become fathers. If my son got a girl pregnant, he would need to face equal responsibilities as the girl he impregnated.
    You don't have children either? I'm old enough (still very young) to have a child and, if I was to convert to full time hours, I'd earn enough to support a child without any financial support from the mother. I'm not ready to have a child yet, but if the worst came to worst and I got somebody pregnant, I could at least financially support them.

    I'll address the gender comment later, basically, as a male, we'd care less (key word: less) than if our son had sex underage, than if it were female. It's mostly true.

    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Can I just say also, just because most teens are having sex before university doesn't mean it justifies a parent allowing their child to have sex in their own home. I don't care if it's his/her's bedroom, the parent most likely pays for the home and takes care of the child as he/she can't even consent for themselves at that age.I can't imagine any parent saying 'hey I may as well allow this because most teens are having sex any way'??? Heck no. Though sadly there are parents who may actually think this way. Though I am not a parent yet, I could be one day I'd teach my child about independence, being an individual and not following the crowd.
    If she/he said to me that they felt ready to have sex at fifteen, I'd ask them many questions to know why and to try to understand them.
    I don't know what planet you live on where parents give their consent for their underage child to have sex. It doesn't work like that. It didn't work like that when I was 15, nearly a decade ago. Me having underage sex was nothing to do with my parents. My parents had absolutely no bearing or influence on whether I had sex. They did their job and raised me well, but I'm 15. My mentality is not that "I don't want to have sex because it's against what Mummy and Daddy taught me". I had sex because I was curious, and..well..hormones. If you think a 15 year old cannot consent to sex, then I must question you as a 15 year old. Again, parents do not give their child consent to have sex. It simply does not work like that.

    When I was 17, I had already had multiple sexual partners. This is something I would never take back. I was responsible, so I took precaution against pregnancy and STIs (the most important thing to educate your child on), the emotional and physical consequences of having sex can be discussed appropriately, but I would never forbid my child.

    (Original post by Cherry82)
    Apart from sexual desire, what else? It's not sounding judgemental but it's being honest here. These are teenagers with raging hormones, experiencing puberty with brains still trying to develop and mature. At this stage, I hope my child would be more concerned with themselves in trying to build up their career for example while focusing on their education and trying to strive for excellence. They won't live with me forever, even if I wished this it's impossible because I will age and die one day. I hope that they will die after me. They need to understand that their focus should be on gradually being independent, saving, investing, setting goals such as by so and so time, I hope to have my own care or whatever they choose. Time is so important to me because it's precious and once gone, can't be gained completely back.
    Sex will always be there, why so early, what is the rush?
    What? This is a strange comment. Why are these mutually exclusive? I was studying, building up my CV, doing things like sports, volunteering at charity shops, had a wide range of hobbies AND I was having sex. I'm glad I had sex at an early age. It really helped me understand and respect the female form. It taught me a lot about relationships and intimacy.


    (Original post by Cherry82)
    What happened to just enjoying your childhood and enjoying the fact that you have relatively small or close to no real responsibilities. Sex isn't just this physical thing that you do where each time is it practised, you can be certain that the outcome with always be the same where both partners are emotionally, physically and mentally ok. I hope you understand what I mean. I mean that sex is also an emotional, intimate act. I'd want to be assured that my child is ready for sex emotionally and mentally.
    I see what you're saying. But how do you know if they are ready? When will they be ready? It's not you that decides. Sex can be just a physical act. There's no reason it has to have the whole 'deep emotional' stigma attached.

    (Original post by Cherry82)

    The mental aspects are the reasons- he/she would need to tell me why. I'd be worried because I know peer pressure could be one of the reasons as it's something I face and faced even at that age. My friends are all having sex but me and sometimes it's isolating as I can't relate to some of the things they all talk about.
    Peer pressure is a terrible reason to have sex because if you weren't pressured, your reasons could differ. At the age, I would want to know why bearing all of this in mind.
    A lot of thought and discussion would need to go into this. It definitely won't be something I would agree with however I'd still want to respect my child and listen to him or her to try to understand. I don't believe in just diminishing a child's request... with love and care try to understand
    I can assure you, (I'd bet my life savings on it), that your child will not come to you to ask permission to have sex.


    (Original post by Cherry82)
    And love? Really?
    What do these mid teenagers really know about love? That word is so overused and used recklessly.
    What is it that they have experienced to know about love? Listen, love is about sacrifice. Until they've experienced trials and troubles to where they had to sacrifice for the person they supposedly love is when it seems like love. Most likely it's LUST. Lust is fun, it's exciting but also selfish. Lust is taking and love is giving. So lust yes, love...I highly doubt it.
    It comes across that you haven't experienced many intimate relationships in your life. Who are we to decide that the word love is overused and used recklessly? When do you think is the correct age you can experience 'love'? 21? After when you have a degree?

    I think not.

    Love is a concept that takes a lifetime to fully understand. It's not something that, when you hit an arbitrary age, you suddenly experience. A child can love his/her mother. They can love their girlfriend/boyfriend. Their love is not your idea of love, that does not make it less valid. Sacrifice and compromise, selflessness are mere components of what it means to love somebody. But it's a concept that develops with time and age. The love you have for your wife at 25, might be very different to the love you share at 80.

    I have no idea as to why you believe lust is selfish.

    (Original post by Cherry82)
    When I was fifteen, I can openly say all I wanted from a relationship really was lust. And some say it's a 'guy's things'. No, girls can also feel this way too. I didn't even really want a relationship to be honest, I just wanted someone to engage with in the sexual/ exciting things. It was just hormones, hormones, and day dreaming and fantasies.The thought of guys was exciting and it still is, being 18 hasn't really made everything different in actuality more difficult as now my childhood friends are doing the 'adult' stuff unlike before where we will all naive to these things haha. Iit definitely was not love.Heck what did I know? I was just finishing year 9 entering year 10 to prepare for my GCSEs. What experience would I have had to say I 'loved' a guy when I hadn't even experienced life properly yet- with the comfort of my parents.
    You are only 18...?! I see.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    What if she sees these posts you're making?
    If she knew I was talking about her on the internet she'd most likely put me over her lap. I just have to hope she doesn't find it - I'm doing everything in private browsing anyway though so hopefully won't!
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by EmmaStark)
    If she knew I was talking about her on the internet she'd most likely put me over her lap. I just have to hope she doesn't find it - I'm doing everything in private browsing anyway though so hopefully won't!
    Seriously? :eek: At 17?

    Good idea (private browsing, not corporal punishment).
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Seriously? :eek: At 17?

    Good idea (private browsing, not corporal punishment).
    erm yeah. It's been a few months since she last did but she would. She says smacking is the only thing that gets through to me. I guess it's true tbh and it's worked when I've done some bad things in the past and needed it. I have no problem with that - and it's better than being grounded for weeks - it's just that she's quite restrictive. I think it's a cultural thing, too - she's part-chinese and it's more common there. I think I've more or less grown out of it now, though. I'm nearly an adult.
    Offline

    18
    (Original post by EmmaStark)
    erm yeah. It's been a few months since she last did but she would. She says smacking is the only thing that gets through to me. I guess it's true tbh and it's worked when I've done some bad things in the past and needed it. I have no problem with that - and it's better than being grounded for weeks - it's just that she's quite restrictive. I think it's a cultural thing, too - she's part-chinese and it's more common there. I think I've more or less grown out of it now, though. I'm nearly an adult.
    I hope you're gentler with your kids... :console:Nobody should be smacked for speaking their mind on the Internet, child or not.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    So someone told me that she used to have sex with her boyfriend at 15 years old while her parents were home. And that sometimes he stayed over. In that moment i tried to imagine my own future daughter and I really really tried to be liberal and open minded and that but I gathered I can not in any ways allow my daughter to have sex in my house. I will probably go kill the boyfriend with a hammer and watch him die. I don't care that I'll go to prison or anything. Would you allow that to happen?
    ???? Kill and watch him die for having sex with your daughter (for which she had agreed to)??
    People are sick. I would somewhat understand telling him to leave but seriously? I hope that is a joke or smth. And why would it be bad if they use condom and she is on pill?

    Personally I would be fine with it but I would take her to gynecologist and make sure she is on pill and they use condom to ensure that she won't accidentlly become pregnant, because abortion isnt a nice process to go trough. Of course if she still by some very unlucky coincience became pregnant I would help her to go trough that process best I can. And condom also protects from sexually transmitted diseases, so I would definitely wish they'd use it.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Hydeman)
    I hope you're gentler with your kids... :console:Nobody should be smacked for speaking their mind on the Internet, child or not.
    I wouldn't punish them for that - I'll definitely not be as strict as my mum is. I will probably smack for certain things, though. It's always done in a calm way - she doesn't beat us.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    Intercourse age should be changed to 18, although it's never enforced anyway...
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Reue)
    Your selfishness does not make the point irrelevant
    It's an irrelevant point because it's an obvious point. Yes, selfish to want my child to be safe, wow, send me to hell. As if any parent that gave a damn would want someone else's child to be more safe at the detriment of their own :|
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by abrack)
    Intercourse age should be changed to 18, although it's never enforced anyway...
    Why 18? I'm 17 and I know what I'm doing when I have sex - nobody's taking advantage of me.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EmmaStark)
    Why 18? I'm 17 and I know what I'm doing when I have sex - nobody's taking advantage of me.
    Oh dear. Did you really just say that? Have you ever heard of social diversity? Why do you think teenage pregnancy rate is so high? There are some people who are stupid and some who aren't.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by celloel)
    It's an irrelevant point because it's an obvious point.
    Perhaps go back and re-read what you just wrote :facepalm:

    Why would a point be irrelevant just because it's obvious? And clearly not so obvious for some people considering a number of people have already quoted me on it saying how it was a good point made that they hadn't considered.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    Another option is to tell her to not have sex at all. If you do the right upbringing then they won't even have sex at 15. I believe chastity should be encouraged. In America, a 2001 study showed that 70% of women have not had sex before marriage obviously now it's much less than that but this shows that in a more conservative society with the right values such things will not happen. Such values you talked about only made us the country with the highest rate of teen pregnancy in Europe whereas US has waaaaaaaaay less pregnant teens than we do.
    I don't want to restrict my child's life like that. A lot better option is to provide her with information about contraception and safe sex. Sex is almsot 100% safe if condom and pill are used. And if she by some unfortunate event became pregnant abortion exists for a reason. But with right contraception that doesnt really happen. I don't want to be the ***** mom whose child becomes unhappy one. Many people enjoy sex; I love math and I couldnt live without it. It relaxes even thou I suck at it. For some people sex has same kind of effect, and I could never tell someone to not have it if they are truly willing because that would be same as if someone told me to not do math. And I would become hella angry and sad for that.
    Why is sex before marriage bad anyway by default? Some people will never marry. Should they also spend their whole life in celibacy?

    And this is coming for someone who has decided to spend her life in celibacy (so the whole kid question is pretty hypothetical as I won't hsve one), so I'm definitely not trying to justify my own actions or anything.
 
 
 
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 12, 2017
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Should Spain allow Catalonia to declare independence?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.