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Let's share my "secret" diary with TSR. :'3 ( ...and have a bit of a rant.) Watch

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    (Original post by ravioliyears)
    I think this is what tsr has been waiting for. I legit shed a tear. This would be one thread i would most be excited to read whenever I sign in.
    That is such a lovely thing to say, thank you ever so much. :hugs:

    (Original post by Indeterminate)
    Yet another interesting, insightful and inspiring post. :awesome:

    You're awesome!
    Thank you, Indeterminate. I'm so glad you enjoyed reading it. <3

    :hugs:

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    Anon is it just my phone or have you mirrored your post? If you've mirrored it sickkkk, inventive. Great post too, you're such a good writer :zomg: You write like a stream of thought, I like that, it's more relatable to cold, hard prose
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    (Original post by somemightsay888)
    Anon is it just my phone or have you mirrored your post? If you've mirrored it sickkkk, inventive. Great post too, you're such a good writer :zomg: You write like a stream of thought, I like that, it's more relatable to cold, hard prose
    No, it's not just your phone aha- it was deliberate. I thought that trying to show a virtual mirror would fit in well with the title of the topic, Idk. >.<
    Thank you so much. :hugs: <3


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    (Original post by Anon_98)
    No, it's not just your phone aha- it was deliberate. I thought that trying to show a virtual mirror would fit in well with the title of the topic, Idk. >.<
    Thank you so much. :hugs: <3


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    Nah, I totally get what you went for (and achieved), nice :awesome:
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    (Original post by Anon_98)
    That is such a lovely thing to say, thank you ever so much. :hugs:
    No, thank you for writing such an interesting thread! I wouldn't have the courage to write about such things!
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    I look forward to what your blog posts are about and I've not even read through them properly yet, hopefully get round to it tomorrow!

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    (Original post by McRite)
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    :lol:

    Thank you, McRite.^-^

    (Original post by Black Rose)
    I look forward to what your blog posts are about and I've not even read through them properly yet, hopefully get round to it tomorrow!

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    Yayy, thank you - I hope you enjoy what you read.
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    Dear Diary, 17/3/2008
    Poem.

    Swimming in the water.
    Ain't I getting shorter.
    Making sandcastles while eating fruit pastilles.
    It's so hot.
    The sun rising a lot.

    Well, if I remember correctly we were on holiday when I wrote this- probably the most awful piece of poetry I've ever constructed in my life. XD Those rhymes are so unfitting too. I'll try not to be too hard on myself since I was only, like, 10 years of age but I suppose now I'm that little bit older + hopefully wiser, I should take this opportunity to rewrite.


    Lapsing bulbs

    Emblems of granular love
    That witness the sounds which fill us
    With unpigmented vibrations of joy.
    Taking no part in speaking of any tomorrow
    Deity, I roar;
    Who says we cannot cry without blood?
    Young eyes on golden beats from above- motionless.

    Sun, an alliance of spades

    Allow our hearts to lie here forever,
    let us remain like the crustaceans beneath death shores

    Please oh good Boreas - winds that thou forsee,
    Make them stand with us, with me
    Our sweet fusion of watts and machines of repose
    that sing; In such tranquil tides.
    I don't know nothing about no third degree -

    Like the shreds of doublet blanc.
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    Dear Diary, (date not noted)

    We have a next door neighbour, well it is not next door it's opposite and she has got a kid. Her name is grapes and she is as cute as a pumpkin.


    She really was an incredibly adorable child, still is. (':

    Neighbours.

    The theme tune of that show is annoyingly catchy. I immediately switch channels whenever I see it on bc it's really not my thing but then somehow my fingers temporarily gain a mind of their own resulting in it magically switching back and before long I'm singing out of rhythm in a exuberant style; arms swinging like the ship inducing vomit balls at Alton towers, whilst I continually run across the Chesterfield-inspired sofa seats then leap off into other potentially limb damaging pieces of furniture until the 34 seconds of craze are finally up. Jackie Trent's choice of lyrics are a perfect representation of what I believe in:

    "Neighbours, everybody needs good neighbours" - Truer words have never been spoken.

    Moving was something which I had to do quite a lot of when I was younger mainly due to the fact we constantly had to accommodate with my father's unstable job contract. Unfortunately, he was always required to work in different cities which meant that I would be moving into new schools, joining new clubs, and ofc- new houses as often as TSR user 'greatguy' makes onsite accounts. The thing which most annoyed me was the fact that as soon as I felt I had made the absolute best circle of friends, gained a rightful place as teacher's pet and settled perfectly into the arts + crafts sessions in the beyond freezing mobiles during my lunch hours ..I would have no choice but to leave everyone and start all over again across the other side of the country. They'd all throw me a party, hand over my well-deserved certificates, cry over my future permanent absence then the exact same cycle would repeat v soon afterwards. In some aspects, it was great bc at every new place, there would be a whole new set of attractions. I also v much enjoyed being the centre of attention as well as making lots of friends and evidently as a new pupil the spotlight was always on me which meant that I would be:

    A) The chosen one.
    B) Able to get away with practically everything.

    For some reason, at one place there were a particular set of occupants who thought it was perfectly acceptable to play Sean Kingston - 'beautiful girls' at 790 decibels, past 10pm every night of every day of every week until it was no longer a "hit". - Not taking into account that the family next door had two children both under the age of 11, who would be required to go to school the following day and therefore needed at least 8hrs of undisturbed sleep. As someone who used to be(/still is) quite good at involuntarily memorising song lyrics, rocking up to school and subconsciously screeching the word "Suicidal" in a ghetto-type fashion during reading comprehension class was probably somewhat of a concern to my teachers. Infact, the track was played so often that I'm pretty sure I can still recall every single syllable of that dreadful song at this age.

    For those of you who may be unfamiliar, I now present you with the lullaby tune of the century:

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MrTz5xjmso4

    No doubt my parents tried reasoning with the apparent thugs, not that it worked. As a result, they decided that it was definitely time for my four walls of comfort to be shoved into another 300 corrugated containers.

    Many households appear to adopt an attitude of flippancy towards those living around them, however the following video seems to display the exact opposite. Except, I think that it's just absurd.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8r4GNWkAXc

    I don't entirely understand what's happening tbh.. but I certainly find it unacceptable that the man wearing sunglasses was getting violent + angry over where someone was placing their rubbish. I would possibly understand if it was part of their property however the two boys stated several times that it was for public use therefore it doesn't make any sense to me. The concept of someone acting in that manner over something so trivial makes me wish that there's a backstory to the scenario so I don't have to believe that people can be so petty and horrible. That we perhaps didn't get a chance to view everything due to the possibility that they started the recording too late and so trying to make an accurate judgement of what happened would be unfair.

    Fortunately, our current neighbours are absolutely lovely. The majority of them are elderly people and all they do is just smile... or grumpily mumble without exchanging a single word ever (but we won't go too much into that.) I mean, I barely see them but when I do they urge I follow them and their little adorable terriers, who I could stroke to death, into their property and proceed to hand me liquorice sweets or sherbet lemons as well as gardening seeds for my mum, despite my protests.

    I just think that neighbours make up a big part of our lives and there are some which could be a whole lot more considerate towards others. It doesn't take a lot of energy or effort to smile/wave at your fellow resident. I'm not asking for the world, rather hoping for a street of genuinely courteous human beings living in harmony across every nation.
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    Lmao, quality post :rofl:

    Sean Kingston, I used to blast that on my Samsung E250 back in the day, when having an MP3 player was a defining feature of a phone :moon:
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    Dear Diary, 24/11/2008

    I am writing about me, me me & me me me me me & me. My favourite colour is RED!


    lol.


    Narcissism.

    It's getting dangerous.

    Seriously.

    My levels of self-absorbed..ness are off the scale.

    So, I've been told some news which I'm feeling indifferent about. - I've been given a solo in the end of year gala and I'm also going across the country during summer with the head of drama and a few other students to participate in a play. I was picked out of most of the A2 drama pupils despite the fact I don't take the subject and when I was told, I was just like:

    "Well, obviouslyyyyy "

    (in my head, ofc)

    I'm aware that it's all pretty simple stuff but I should be appreciative of it regardless and I'm not and I don't know why. >.>

    It comes to absolute no surprise when I've been selected for all these "opportunities " despite the fact I didn't even try hard to achieve them. It's annoying me bc everyone keeps making a big deal out of it and my reaction is more/less like ---> "" What makes it even worse is the fact that one of my best friends really wanted a part and she didn't get one so she was quite upset about it.

    Sometimes, someone will attempt to make conversation with me at sixth form and I'll just ignore them and instead proceed to tell one of my friends about my weekend. Like, I'll just pretend that I didn't hear them. It's been subconsciously happening a lot recently and I'm finding that my brain is conditioned to believe that I'm apparently superior to the rest of humanity. If that person is placed as being unworthy to exchange a word with...then I just won't talk to them. It's not that I don't want to talk to them but generally those people are just so...utterly mindless that I can't be bothered to waste any energy in an attempt to make friends. They won't understand any of my cool references due to their limited brain capacity and they'll be overwhelmed by my greatness and class me as a weirdo. It's pretty much the same on TSR. - As awful as it sounds there are some users who I would never have a conversation with. I've pretty much quoted and PM-ed absolutely everyone purely bc I find it fun. However, just reading some posts by TSRians around the forum makes me virtually die. They're not even trolls, but just ugh. Thankfully, I resurrect quite easily too.

    Yes, I'm a bad person. No, I'm not Jesus.

    Even if I do share brioche rather frequently.

    I need to stop being so arrogant... yet I can't. It's hilarious though bc the vast majority of people seem to initially think that I'm incredibly modest/something, especially those on this site.

    If only you knew.

    There are moments where I'll make a post and I'll just think to myself "WOW, you're so fab Anon. You should actually win a Nobel prize or something" and shortly afterwards someone will evidently express how fab I am and inside I'll be like "Tell me something I don't know " but ofc I'll attempt to mask what I really think with a comment of "Aww, that's so sweet- thank you ".

    It's getting worrying.

    Infact, this entire post is worrying.

    I won't be surprised if I start licking myself soon rather than taking showers due to all the self-love.

    At the same time, I pretty much hate how I look and don't think I'm the most intelligent of people. Infact, I'm an embarrassment to my heritage. Well, deep down inside I totally know that I'm just being overdramatic about everything. I honestly don't know whether I'm just acting insecure for the sake of it anymore or if I'm actually insecure. The two lines are so close that they're merging into one great big vertical blob. There's most likely something wrong with me. I think the latter of the first two points is mainly due to the fact that I don't try hard enough though.. I know for certain-more than certain- that Im pretty capable of anything if I give it my all but for whatever reason I don't try and change for the better.

    Another thing I've noticed is that I'm really stubborn + kinda seem to believe my opinions are fact and anyone who disagrees with them is delusional. Because of all this, people mockingly associate with me with the quote:

    'I think, therefore I am'~

    When we're working in group projects, I do prefer to be in charge simply bc I know that I'll make sure it's done to the highest standard. If that means that I end up doing it all alone, then so be it. I'd much rather that be the case than let other people do it in the wrong way. I hate it when someone does something in the opposite way to how I like it being done. I equally hate having partners who are overly shy. What is so hard about saying hello and contributing in a volume that I can ACTUALLY hear? My current maths partner is incredibly shy and I don't think I can handle it for any longer. It's been nearly 5 months since the school year started yet she still can't exchange a couple sentences without sounding so awkward. I wouldn't care much if it was Chemistry class but Maths class requires a partner during most of the tasks and her behaviour just makes her so incredibly difficult to work with. I repeat the word "pardon" so often that I now have just decided to resort to nodding my head in the exact same style she does when I ask how her day was.

    I've realised that I also always interrupt people during group conversations bc I appear to hold the idea that what I have to say is way more interesting + entertaining. For what it's worth, what I have to say is usually way more interesting. I do try my best to hold back but I find that it's out of my control. A month ago/so, I told my friends what I really thought of them when we first met. Like, what my first impressions were of them and after I had explained they all started saying how mean I was being and how there are some things that you don't say aloud. I started laughing and found it funny that they didn't think it was best that I was honest. I didn't regret what I said, even though they all got offended. I don't understand why they got offended, those thoughts were in the past and they've changed since. Although, I know that they forgave me within 3 seconds and that I can get away with saying anything bc I'm too loveable + pretty much the glitter glue to our group relationship.

    My confidence level is either, like, a 198.5/10 or a -2039394848383. There is genuinely no definite inbetween. I'd say that I'm currently at a healthy 170/10.

    Inb4 Mayhem makes his usual comment of "Oh look, what a speshul schnowflake u are :congrats: "

    Thing is.- I already know that ...and don't try and tell me otherwise.

    I've just removed the array of lovely comments from my 'about me' section on my profile page bc I think it's negatively boosting my ego, not entirely sure what else I can do. I'm honestly not a v nice person lol and this site is simply making it worse.

    How can Anon_98 stop this 'habit'(?)

    ..I'm asking for advice but I'm also aware that if anyone provides me with some constructive criticism that I'll think you're going about it the wrong way and that I'm too unique for whatever you say so I won't properly take it on board. If at all.

    Don't get me wrong, I am a considerate person... Some might even say "kind" and tbh, I might not be functioning slightly narcissistic-ally at all and maybe I'm just overthinking everything.

    Otherwise I have no idea how this started. Maybe it's bc I've been treated as an exception to all rules by pretty much everyone throughout my whole 17 years of existence. (Rightfully, ofc. XD)

    Oh goodness. Think I'll log out for eternity now. Uhh.. Well I tried to tone whatever this is down as I was writing so I don't come across as overly ..self-centered therefore hopefully I haven't lost too many friends after this post... >.<

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_jWHffIx5E
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    YYYYAAAYY Anon_98 YOU'RE POSTING ON THIS THREAD AGAIN!
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    (Original post by Anon_98)
    -
    This post was amazing omg, I can relate to some of it but most importantly, after reading that I can now say (without feeling bad):

    You're a little ****, Anon.






    :indiff:
 
 
 
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