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I think I'm asexual. How to come out to BF? Watch

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    (Original post by futbol)
    I have literally never met a single person like that nor heard anyone say they know anyone that way. I've never even heard anyone ever mention the possibility of humans being asexual.

    But it's obviously really common isn't it.....
    There's no need to be aggressive. Just because you don't know anyone who's asexual, it doesn't mean they don't exist. One of my friends is asexual. It doesn't affect you directly, so just let them be happy
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

    :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:
    Whats wrong friend? It would help if you would explain why you disagree, and it doesn't help anyone to be pretentious and act like a know-it-all.
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    Arguably of secondary concern to the fact that your boyfriend has, throughout (I presume) countless episodes of intercourse, somehow failed to detect your total disinterest in said activity. Is he really so hopelessly oblivious to basic physical and emotional cues, or are you simply the greatest unsung acting talent of your generation?

    (Original post by futbol)
    I'm guessing you are not a plant or bacterium?
    Don't be thick.
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    I'd say he's upset because you've been faking it more than anything. Well, perhaps not more than anything - now he is emotionally attached to you, but presumably (understandably) he doesn't want a relationship without a fulfilling sex-life (at least one that fulfills him; he doesn't seem to have noticed that it does nothing for you).

    But don't worry too much. Better to come out with this now than after you got married. At least now you can both find other people that you are more compatible with.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    X
    PRSOM to literally everything you've said on this thread for echoing my exact thoughts.
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    (Original post by futbol)
    I have literally never met a single person like that nor heard anyone say they know anyone that way. I've never even heard anyone ever mention the possibility of humans being asexual.

    But it's obviously really common isn't it.....
    Neither had I until just over a year ago and now I identify as asexual lmao

    I think I read a figure somewhere of 1% of the population being asexual, which doesn't sound like much but on a global scale that's still 7 million people.
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    (Original post by lightwoXd)
    Neither had I until just over a year ago and now I identify as asexual lmao

    I think I read a figure somewhere of 1% of the population being asexual, which doesn't sound like much but on a global scale that's still 7 million people.
    So a year ago you were able to find another person but later you just couldn't? I'd be pretty worried if that happened to me. Sounds like it could be a serious physiological problem or possibly a hormone imbalance. Most animals are hard wired with a desire to reproduce, species could not survive without it.

    Also, I'm going to go out on a limb and say you have tumblr?
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    There's no need to be aggressive. Just because you don't know anyone who's asexual, it doesn't mean they don't exist. One of my friends is asexual. It doesn't affect you directly, so just let them be happy
    What is an asexual? What futból is trying to say is this: "asexual" is a term in biology that refers to reproducing cells that require no external fertilisation. Is this girl friend of yours the son of Jesus? Miss Immaculate Conception? Because, if not, she is not asexual.


    Now to burst everyone's bubble: any word that ends in "-sexual" does not instantly mean "sexual attraction towards x". That cannot be proven.
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    (Original post by Moonman Mafia)
    What is an asexual? What futból is trying to say is this: "asexual" is a term in biology that refers to reproducing cells that require no external fertilisation. Is this girl friend of yours the son of Jesus? Miss Immaculate Conception? Because, if not, she is not asexual.


    Now to burst everyone's bubble: any word that ends in "-sexual" does not instantly mean "sexual attraction towards x". That cannot be proven.
    Actually, look up the definition of the word asexual. As an adjective, it means "(of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes".
    As a noun, it means "a person who has no sexual feelings or desires".

    Just google it. A word can have more than one definition.
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    (Original post by lightwoXd)
    I think I read a figure somewhere of 1% of the population being asexual, which doesn't sound like much but on a global scale that's still 7 million people.
    ...
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Actually, look up the definition of the word asexual. As an adjective, it means "(of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes".
    As a noun, it means "a person who has no sexual feelings or desires".

    Just google it. A word can have more than one definition.
    I'd (gently) introduce the topic of homonyms, but they'd probably resent such an overt come-on.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    We've been going out for over a year now.

    Asexuality has always been something at the back of my mind for many years, perhaps it hasn't come to the forefront because I figured that sexuality is fairly fluid and also maybe I've been in denial.

    Anyway, the other day, I asked my boyfriend hypothetically what would happen if I told him I was asexual. He said he'd be so upset that I'm not sexually attracted to him and that he doesn't think he could continue the relationship.

    I reread a really old conversation I had with another TSR member about asexuality, and everything really clicks now. I'm sure I'm asexual.

    This doesn't change the fact that I love my boyfriend so much and I'd be devastated to lose him. I can't imagine my life without him.

    Particularly anyone who's had similar experiences, how did you and your SO deal with it?
    Should have brought that to the table before you entered the relationship to be honest.
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    (Original post by georgiaswift)
    Actually, look up the definition of the word asexual. As an adjective, it means "(of reproduction) not involving the fusion of gametes".
    As a noun, it means "a person who has no sexual feelings or desires".

    Just google it. A word can have more than one definition.
    This is what I learned from TSR about asexuals: they can have relationships, they can have sex, they can ENJOY sex, and at the same time claim not to have any sexual attraction towards anyone.

    This is why you do not allow people to self-diagnose and self-identify.
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    (Original post by riketay)
    Whats wrong friend? It would help if you would explain why you disagree, and it doesn't help anyone to be pretentious and act like a know-it-all.
    Kindly go and educate yourself on what Asexuality actually is so that when you post you don't look like a complete fool.
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    (Original post by Desserts66)
    I dont mean to intrude, but how on earth can one be asexual? Sex is so amazing. The best gift God can provide.
    From what I hear it's meant to be good Maybe I've just had bad luck, but I've not met anyone who wants to f*ck who I also want to f*ck. Maybe one day
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    im asexual aswell
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Kindly go and educate yourself on what Asexuality actually is so that when you post you don't look like a complete fool.
    Why dont you tell me what you dont like about what I said, otherwise I dont know what part I should be educated about. If a friend asked you how to play a game would you give them some hints or aggressively say "Go educate yourself shithead"
    If someone just didnt want to have sex, I dont think it would be very smart to plaster themselves as asexual, so I assume they are talking about a genetic defect.
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    (Original post by riketay)
    Why dont you tell me what you dont like about what I said, otherwise I dont know what part I should be educated about. If a friend asked you how to play a game would you give them some hints or aggressively say "Go educate yourself shithead"
    If someone just didnt want to have sex, I dont think it would be very smart to plaster themselves as asexual, so I assume they are talking about a genetic defect.
    I've been spectating up until this point so allow me to educate you somewhat on manners and sexuality.

    Firstly, your manners are appalling which makes your argument unsubstantiated and completely ridiculous. If you are polite and reasoned people would listen to your opinion and respect you far more.

    Second, only transexuality is considered to be a 'disorder'. Asexuality, pansexuality, bisexuality and etc are not. It is a result of the genetic coding in a human, it is not a defect, as defect is something like extra chromosomes leading to downs syndrome. Sexuality is part of a persons personality so it also has environmental factors and as such it is a multifactorial personality trait, NOT A DEFECT.

    Read a biology book please.
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    (Original post by sw651)
    I've been spectating up until this point so allow me to educate you somewhat on manners and sexuality.

    Firstly, your manners are appalling which makes your argument unsubstantiated and completely ridiculous. If you are polite and reasoned people would listen to your opinion and respect you far more.

    Second, only transexuality is considered to be a 'disorder'. Asexuality, pansexuality, bisexuality and etc are not. It is a result of the genetic coding in a human, it is not a defect, as defect is something like extra chromosomes leading to downs syndrome. Sexuality is part of a persons personality so it also has environmental factors and as such it is a multifactorial personality trait, NOT A DEFECT.

    Read a biology book please.
    Only one of those is real.

    Asexuality is not a sexuality it's a lack of one.

    Pansexuality is a special snowflake tumblr word for people who want to feel marginalised.
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    (Original post by harinimnida)
    Only one of those is real.

    Asexuality is not a sexuality it's a lack of one.

    Pansexuality is a special snowflake tumblr word for people who want to feel marginalised.
    Asexuality is a sexuality, I suggest you read a dictionary it CAN be defined as "a person's sexual orientation or preference". It is recognized by medical professionals as is pansexuality (effectively bisexuality)
 
 
 
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