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I think I'm asexual. How to come out to BF? Watch

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    (Original post by riketay)
    I dont think thats a struggle or a need to label yourself, you can simply say "Im not attracted to you" if someone fancies you, like everyone does in that situation, why explain to everyone you meet that you dont like to have sex? Thats like walking up to someone on the street and telling them "Hey im a big fan of huge asses but im not attracred to latinos, I like nipple play ... etc"
    Should there be a label for people who like nipple play? Are they nip-sexual? Should we make a nip-sexual support group? Am I a sociologist now?

    And im pretty sure that not wanting to have sex with anyone implies youre not sexually attracted to anyone, otherwise you would want to have sex with them.
    See the previous post for an explanation of asexuality.

    Asexuals often feel like they are broken because all of our lives we are told that eventually we will feel attraction. Society places such a high value on sex and sexuality that asexuals feel very alone. Having a word to describe how we feel is very useful because it allows us to find each other.

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    (Original post by riketay)
    I dont think thats a struggle or a need to label yourself, you can simply say "Im not attracted to you" if someone fancies you, like everyone does in that situation, why explain to everyone you meet that you dont like to have sex? Thats like walking up to someone on the street and telling them "Hey im a big fan of huge asses but im not attracred to latinos, I like nipple play ... etc"
    Should there be a label for people who like nipple play? Are they nip-sexual? Should we make a nip-sexual support group? Am I a sociologist now?

    And im pretty sure that not wanting to have sex with anyone implies youre not sexually attracted to anyone, otherwise you would want to have sex with them.
    I think that's a complicated thing to assume, it's often a form of identity for people, just like being gay or straight. I think the previous poster was referring to relationships, in that situation it's important to define that you are asexual as it will have a big impact on your relationship. Some people are not okay with having a non-sexual relationship, and that's fine but it's why it's important that someone who's attracted to you (if the feelings are mutual) knows that if you're entering a relationship there's no sex involved.

    Likewise, just because you don't desire sex doesn't mean that you don't want to be in any relationship ever. It just means that you might not want to be with someone who is looking for a sexual relationship.

    Furthermore, I don't think that you can argue that describing you 'kinks' when you first meet someone who you fancy is the same as announcing that you don't want a sexual relationship. They're completely different things. It's a form of identity, like if you were gay or bisexual, your 'likes and dislikes in sex' do not really make up your identity the same way sexual attraction does.

    Actually not wanting to have sex does not always equal not having sexual attraction. For example, being abstinent or celibate for religious reasons or otherwise does not automatically mean that you don't experience sexual attraction.

    Anyway, thought I could just drop in and add something
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    (Original post by Jooooshy)
    Some animals also reproduce asexually (starfish is one of them, if I remember correctly), so it's a false dichotomy regardless!
    And it's also false to assume plants and animals are the only two domains of life
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    (Original post by Asklepios)
    And it's also false two assume plants and animals are the only two domains of life
    Touche!
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    (Original post by Jooooshy)
    Touche!
    ****ing heteronormativity suggesting that phylogenetic kingdom is binary, gotta stick up for those kingdom-fluid and kingdom-queer organisms
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    (Original post by riketay)
    Why dont you tell me what you dont like about what I said, otherwise I dont know what part I should be educated about. If a friend asked you how to play a game would you give them some hints or aggressively say "Go educate yourself shithead"
    If someone just didnt want to have sex, I dont think it would be very smart to plaster themselves as asexual, so I assume they are talking about a genetic defect.
    :facepalm: :facepalm:

    Okay, because you seem to be incapable of going to a search engine, typing in 'asexuality' and reading about it off your own back, I will try to explain to you. Asexuality is a sexual orientation, or rather, lack of thereof, whereby the person possessing this orientation does not feel or experience sexual attraction to another person. Like most other orientations, asexuality is on a continuum whereby some people with asexuality cannot form romantic attractions at all and others can. Asexuals can still participate in sex and some will have a libido, the only thing that's different is the fact that they are incapable of experiencing sexual attraction
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    "You know that conversation we had the other day? Well, turns out I'm A-sexual. Sorry, I know it's a bummer. Really hope we can still be friends"
 
 
 
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