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Traumatized from previous work employment and I no longer know what to do watch

    • Thread Starter


    I had my first job in my early 20s, however my experience there was a very bumpy one. I always had a passion for programming and even at university I was excelling in this field.

    Therefore when a job role to work as a programming for a project was advertised, I applied for it with so much passion. I was given the job and my dream came true. However, this dream was short lived and within a few weeks I was struggling. I admitted this to my line manager and they tried to train me a bit - but I realized they did not like me. I was eventually in a way intimidated and bullied a bit from my colleagues - in fact one of them doubted my potential and asked me what and who taught me programming. Apparently, what I was taught was wrong and I could write no more than say five lines of code. I nearly broke down and eventually I felt extremely depressed going to work.

    Sure I was never a "nerd" or a good programmer - I simply had an interest in it. I am someone who works hard and can learn from watching others and shadowing. It does take me time sadly due to my dyspraxia - but I am very determined. In fact I was doing a lot of overtime on that project.

    Eventually that project was abandoned after three months due to a number of reasons such as me not doing so well, and the lack of funding (one partner dropped out). This in itself was a blessing in disguise and I was soon placed in another department with a different line of work - but under the same line manager. I flourished in this new job role, and my line manager actually gave me a lot more respect. He said that he noticed that I was a lot happier than before and that I was more active. He felt that I was more of a "peoples person" and someone who loves travelling (he guessed right). Due to the nature of that second job, I was required to travel a lot and I was never at my desk. Although this in itself was another project and it was in fact someone elses project I felt as being a large part of it.

    Sadly I miss those days (my second job in the same company). It was more tech-support but I actually didn't mind it. My family and friends noticed that I was more chubbier and happier - as in I cared about my own life for once.

    Although I may have enjoyed this second stint, this too was short lived. That project came to a close - actually with a positive result! Compared to the first one, the company only lost a bit of money in terms of profit - but that is due to other external factors and had nothing to do with the department itself. As that project came to a close and the company could not fund me any further - I quit on mutual consent and returned back to university to finish of my studies.

    I am now unemployed, but the point I am making is that I am still traumatized despite my second stint. I still remember those words said by my colleagues on the first project - hell I even remember where I was sitting and all the times I was shouted it. I will never forgot those down times and the large blue double doors. It is still in my mind and I don't know what to do career wise

    I have a computing degree and yet tech support seems to be my forte. I don't mind programming but I don't know if it is a career field for me. What can I do?

    I didn't apply to any grad roles due to this bad experience.

    Hi klu5ion,

    it sounds like you are a hard working and enthusiastic individual so I'm really sorry you've had a negative experience. It's unfortunate you were made to feel bullied by your co workers. You're building up your your CV which sounds great with positive AND negative experiences, which is really important. If you feel like you're not on form, ask for feedback. Rather than take it personally, get constructive criticism and see what areas your managers/co workers feel you need to improve on. It doesn't make you a bad person or rubbish at coding.

    On you being traumatized from your first experience, remember, that's in the past now. I know it's easier said than done, but try and not let this put you off applying for future roles. We all get crappy managers and can be made to feel small

    Just because you have a degree in a particular subject, this doesn't mean you have to work in that exact field. You've probably heard this to death, but 'transferable skills' and all that! If tech support is your forte, then go for tech support! With the programming, it takes practice. So much practice. Some of the best programmers I know live and breathe it. So just practice more!
    • TSR Support Team

    TSR Support Team
    If you loved that second job, go after a similar job now. You were clearly excellent at it and really enjoyed it. You say tech-support wasn't your forte but that you loved it and flourished!

    First jobs are always tricky and it sounds like you were not in the right role. It was probably not the intention of your old colleagues to say things to hurt you like that and I don't think they would have if they knew the impact it would have.

    You have to just get back into it. Find a job, and if you hate it, stick it out for a reasonable amount of time, chalk it up to experience and get out. Find a new one and repeat until you find somewhere you're happy. :yes:.
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