mot14
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Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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Hey, So I'm currently in the second semester of my 2nd year at University and I'm just so unhappy living here. It's an amalgamation of a lot of things to why I'm so unhappy. The course is fine but I'm not enjoying it like some other people seem to be really passionate about their courses. The course I'm studying is related to what I want to do, but most modules are not specifically to my interests. I now live off campus in a house and I think this is where most of my problems stem from, I do like my flatmates and I do get on with them all, but I'm not that close to them and some days I find it hard to get along with them and I just try and avoid them. I wouldn't say I'm an ant-social person, I had a large group of friends in high school whose company I enjoyed much more and could hang out all day everyday with! I guess I just miss home a lot as well and I know its something I have to get over but being really upset and down every day in uni isn't right and I know its affecting my work! I try to be more positive but there is little to nothing I enjoy at university so its hard to lift myself up. Like I said before this is also affecting my work and the fact I don't find the work that interesting or compelling mixed with my mood makes it much harder to just knuckle down!

I'm not anti-social but I am quite shy, so in first year I put on a brave face and went out loads and made quite a few friends, but deep down I knew this just wasn't me. I'm the kind of person who likes to sit in and watch films etc. I did enjoy the odd night out but it soon became tiresome so now in my second year I want to sit in more. I also tell myself this will help with my work, but I do fear of losing my friends or their respect. As stupid as it sounds, this is the reality, they expect me to go out twice or three times a week but I can't do it any more. When I do tell them, they get upset and angry as well. I realise this is not my problem but theirs, I should be able to sit in if I want to, but it creates an awkwardness that I can't bare in the house. Like I said I'm not that close to them any way but I don't want to make my living situation worse than it already is.

When I went home over Christmas I realised how much I loved being at home. I didn't want to go back to University and it almost made me feel sick thinking of going back, I'm not trying to be over dramatic but that's how much I dislike living there. When I'm at university I cant come home all the time since its a two hour drive away, I don't have a car and its expensive to come back home via coach or train! But when I'm sitting in my room at Uni all I think about is going back home. I don't really have friends on the course either. I think this is because I spent all of first year trying to bond with my flat mates on night outs and getting to know friends of friends i.e. my flatmates course mates, I actually am better friends with them! When I do try and make friends with my course mates now, they just look at me weird because they have all made groups and I'm the 'outsider'. I find it almost impossible to make friends with them now.

So over Christmas I decided it was time to take action! I realised I was miserable here at uni and there was almost no redeeming thing about it. The course wasn't great, I didn't particularly have any good friends here and It was affecting my studies! So I have e-mailed my local University from where I'm from asking for a transfer into 3rd year! But I still have so many questions. I have stupidly signed for a third year house next year! I haven't told the people that I'm living with next year that I'm thinking of a transfer! I'm also concerned with my studies this year. What If I fail this year at my current University. What would I do then? I would still want a transfer but it would probably be into second year at the new university right? but my parents said that student finance wont help after 3 years. Is this true? If this goes into a fourth year, meaning I repeat second year at the new uni will I have to fund the third year on my own?

I cant do another year at this university. I'm just so unhappy here! I want to be closer to home where I can work (I have a part time job with my parents that I work in the holidays) and I know I will be happier. The course at my local uni is also better suited I think to my career ambitions now and I know a couple of people from high school at this uni. But what if I fail my current year at University? I don't think I'm doing particularly well at the moment because of reasons stated and what about the house that I have signed for next year? Also what are the financial implications if I transfer?

Please any answers will be much appreciated. Thanks.
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Neostigmine
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Report 3 years ago
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I'm sorry you've been having a tough time.
Sounds like you are doing the right thing heading home. You'll need to speak to the uni and ask what happens if you fail as your transfer might rely on you passing the year so ask before you go.
You'll want to let your friends know, and find out if you and find someone to replace you in housing. You may not get your deposit back if not, depending how you have paid.

SFE finance more than just 3 years for this exact reason. You should be fine in that respect.

Speak to a tutor at uni, they will know a lot about how to manage these things.
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