Mate is annoyed cos i can't chat with her friends.

Ok, me and my best friend went out last night and met some of HER friends at a bar (HER is in capitals cos basically they are her friends, i barely know them). She knows talking to strangers is not my strong point, she can talk the hind leg off a donkey with anyone but i find it really difficult cos i have nothing to say to them, they have different interests and hobbies to me. At some point into the night i was sitting there drinking not really saying much like usual and another of our friends turned up with a group of his other friends, i think he noticed my face light up when he arrived as i thought, 'ah, someone i can talk to' and started to relax a bit cos he asked if he could stick around with me. His friends later moved on and he stayed with me, we had a really fun night, chatting and dancing and he even did a pole dance for us. But this morning my best mate was really annoyed cos she couldn't see why i couldn't chat with her mates and why had my whole mood suddenly changed when out other mate turned up. She also made me feel bad cos she said that he only stayed cos he thought i needed him to and he would have rather gone with his mates. I don't know if this is true and i hope it is not, i don't want him to have stuck around just because he thought i needed him to although i am grateful that he did. She just doesn't see how i find it difficult to start conversations with people i don't know.

Reply 1

lengy

I have a friend who's jealous about me talking to her friends without her permission. It's okay for me since I don't go out much but it caused so much drama between us that still haunts our friendship cause it's still rather fresh in our minds. I just said bugger it cause I see her at work often and it would cause too much strife in the workplace and now don't talk to her friends. That's fine cause I have my own friends, just I have to be careful not to talk too much to her friends when we go out together.

Reply 2

Trigger

Why are girls such freaks :s-smilie:

Reply 3

Darren Marc

lengy

I have my own friends, just I have to be careful not to talk too much to her friends when we go out together.

Thats absolute lunacy, I've never heard of such a thing, that you have to be careful who you talk to, especially when they're her friends. :confused:

Anyway, to teh original problem. I guess your friends a bit upset when you didn't speak to them coz normally, we don't want others to think our friends are weird (not that you are) and un-sociable. My girlfriend will comment if i've been quiet infront of her friends and vise-versa, it normally boils down to how other portray the individuals friends. If you find it hard to communicate and start conversations, make sure your friends are aware of this before hand.

There are alot of things to ice break conversations with which are quite easy to just drop in - music tastes, do you work? film's, tv' football teams, sport, weather (always gets brought up) etc

Reply 4

lengy

That's cause anything I say will eventually get back to her if they know her and I don't want to risk saying anything which might piss her off. :tongue:

Reply 5

Trigger

Maybe a few home truths on her part wouldnt go amiss :rolleyes:

Reply 6

goodmen

Why would you make an effort not to talk to people your friend is right you should make an effort to talk to her friends instead of just sat in the corner sulking

Reply 7

*Joanna*

goodmen

Why would you make an effort not to talk to people your friend is right you should make an effort to talk to her friends instead of just sat in the corner sulking

I think you're getting two different situations mixed up.

OP, I know how you feel, though I've never had a friend annoyed with me for being quiet. I become very shy if I'm in a group of people I 'sort of' know, and often it feels like they don't want to talk to you so you find it easier not to try, and also you don't want to hog your mutual friend by talking to them all night. Try having a word with her, if she knows you well enough she should understand that you're not being rude, you're shy! What she said about your male friend feeling obliged to stay, ignore her, it was out of line. Maybe he did feel a bit like that to start with, but from what you've said, he and you had a great time, so I bet he didn't regret it!

Latest

Trending

Articles for you

15 things that only happen in university halls

A-level Economics Paper 1 (Edexcel) unofficial markscheme - 15 May 2024

Revising with ADHD

Try out the app

Continue on web

Mate is annoyed cos i can't chat with her friends.

Related discussions

Articles for you