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    I have a boyfriend whos a lot older than me but i often feel he's immature. I went on a night out with him and friends. Before the night out he said that he wasnt sure if he was even going, he decided last minute. He eventually came then after going to several pubs with us said that he was going to go. I said ok, I'l speak later then he winked and said take care and that if i need him ring him. 2 days later he sent me a text saying that it would be best if we spoke face to face as he had had feedback off people about that night :/ Id done nothing didnt even speak to anyone cause of the music and just danced in a circle with the others. Turns out that he had got a text from his mate asking if we were still a couple and had took it the wrong way. He said he then texted one of the other people with us about how i 'went on' and she texted back 'no comment' (she musnt have wanted to get involved) and he took this the wrong way too.

    He finally 'cleared' things up that id done nothing wrong but then he said to me that i didnt want him to stay that night anyway. I said 'yea i did it was you who went' he said in a calm voice 'but you never tried to make me stay, you just said ok'.

    Another thing is he often ignores my text messages. So if he doesnt reply i just wait until he texts which can be days later. His mum died months ago so i know he has had a hard time and ive just gone with the flow giving him some space or replying to texts when he sends them. He pulled me up about not asking how he was. I said that i had tried to ring text but he didnt reply. He said ' yea but if i dont reply you shouldnt just leave it, its dangerous as you dont know whats going on in their head, people can get depressed'. I said ' when you dont reply i assume you want a break' he said ' thete you go you shouldnt assume things' I said 'so you want me to mither you' he said 'well sometimes you have to if people ate feeling fown you need to push a bit to pull them out of it'.

    I just wanted advice/opinions as i feel i cant get anything right.
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    If you think the relationship is toxic leave it. If you think he can mature with age then just give him time and express your opinion on the subject matter.


    -R
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    He just seems like he needs someone to love him, he wants your attention it seems, maybe its related to his mum's death he wants a female presence in his life, I'd try showing him more affection but if that doesn't work then i'd consider whether you want to be with him or not he seems like high maintenance
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    (Original post by Lord Kitchener)
    He just seems like he needs someone to love him, he wants your attention it seems, maybe its related to his mum's death he wants a female presence in his life, I'd try showing him more affection but if that doesn't work then i'd consider whether you want to be with him or not he seems like high maintenance
    He's in his late 30's though quite a bit older than me im not really a mother figure, but i see what you mean. I guess it is craving attention as he wants to feel loved im not exactly the passionate romantic type but why cant he be direct and tell me instead of acting weird.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's in his late 30's though quite a bit older than me im not really a mother figure, but i see what you mean. I guess it is craving attention as he wants to feel loved im not exactly the passionate romantic type but why cant he be direct and tell me instead of acting weird.

    How old are you may I ask, don't want to sound rude but what is attracting you to this guy? he doesn't seem very self assured, at first I thought you meant he was early twenties whilst you were 16, but if he's that old, i'd be concerned because he doesn't seem very together especially for his age...
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    Just forget it, too much drama.
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    (Original post by Lord Kitchener)
    How old are you may I ask, don't want to sound rude but what is attracting you to this guy? he doesn't seem very self assured, at first I thought you meant he was early twenties whilst you were 16, but if he's that old, i'd be concerned because he doesn't seem very together especially for his age...
    Im mid twenties he is late thirties he is mature in some ways like he is dedicated to his sport (gymnastics) though cant do it at the moment due to injury, he is very healthy so no bad habits/drinking or anything like that. Its all emotional with him as i said im not the most passionate person which doesnt help (in fact he says im just a cold person lol) but its just how i am i do try to be there for him. I dont know what attracted me ive just had feelings for him for ages plus he has a good body :/
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    He doesn't seem to know what he wants, nor does he seem to have the capabilities to communicate with you properly without acting like a child and mistrusting you at every corner.

    I personally would have left him already.
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    Pump and dump.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a boyfriend whos a lot older than me but i often feel he's immature. I went on a night out with him and friends. Before the night out he said that he wasnt sure if he was even going, he decided last minute. He eventually came then after going to several pubs with us said that he was going to go. I said ok, I'l speak later then he winked and said take care and that if i need him ring him. 2 days later he sent me a text saying that it would be best if we spoke face to face as he had had feedback off people about that night :/ Id done nothing didnt even speak to anyone cause of the music and just danced in a circle with the others. Turns out that he had got a text from his mate asking if we were still a couple and had took it the wrong way. He said he then texted one of the other people with us about how i 'went on' and she texted back 'no comment' (she musnt have wanted to get involved) and he took this the wrong way too.

    He finally 'cleared' things up that id done nothing wrong but then he said to me that i didnt want him to stay that night anyway. I said 'yea i did it was you who went' he said in a calm voice 'but you never tried to make me stay, you just said ok'.

    Another thing is he often ignores my text messages. So if he doesnt reply i just wait until he texts which can be days later. His mum died months ago so i know he has had a hard time and ive just gone with the flow giving him some space or replying to texts when he sends them. He pulled me up about not asking how he was. I said that i had tried to ring text but he didnt reply. He said ' yea but if i dont reply you shouldnt just leave it, its dangerous as you dont know whats going on in their head, people can get depressed'. I said ' when you dont reply i assume you want a break' he said ' thete you go you shouldnt assume things' I said 'so you want me to mither you' he said 'well sometimes you have to if people ate feeling fown you need to push a bit to pull them out of it'.

    I just wanted advice/opinions as i feel i cant get anything right.
    Honestly, he sounds like a whiny manipulative little ***** . Sounds like you have played your hand perfectly so far... next step is to call out his crap and lay down the law
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Im mid twenties he is late thirties he is mature in some ways like he is dedicated to his sport (gymnastics) though cant do it at the moment due to injury, he is very healthy so no bad habits/drinking or anything like that. Its all emotional with him as i said im not the most passionate person which doesnt help (in fact he says im just a cold person lol) but its just how i am i do try to be there for him. I dont know what attracted me ive just had feelings for him for ages plus he has a good body :/
    Lol I'm far to young to be diagnosing your relationship but my opinion is that he is needy, if your long term then i'd say just focus on him more he seems to be struggling emotionally.
 
 
 
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