So I just graduated Brighton last summer. Obviously uni was hard and everything: ups and downs, but overall I got very attached to the lifestyle, the relationships and habits I made. I was a member of a lot of societies and on sports teams, that was very important to me and a big part of my life for 4 years. I'm very group orientated, it was pretty important to my well-being, it tended to make me feel better.
I don't know. I worried a lot before finishing about how I would cope. I'm still in the same city but I moved back with my parents, and I've found that difficult. It's not centre town or near my old friends so it's kind of a ballache to see them. It's not the same as being 5 minutes away. My social life is more or less non existent. I have friends that I feel have supported me and stayed in contact, but others I feel just got on with their lives quite contently without me. I feel really betrayed but at the same time I know their lifestyle will be quite different to mine now, and I sometimes would just feel really low when I saw them because it made me miss uni more.
I have a job, but I'm struggling with it. I just feel like Uni is full of all these possibilities and there's always stuff going on. I work in an office and the people are nice enough, but I wouldn't hang out with them outside of work. It's like I spend all day with people I don't really associate with, a lot of the time in silence then go home to my parents. The weekends I feel so low and like I don't even have anyone to hang out with, I feel like they're busy doing other fun things. Then I start the week again.
I've realised that up until this point all of my friends have been through my education because that's what I've been doing all my life. I have no idea how you make friends otherwise. I like sports, but those clubs just don't have the same social aspect. I'm really struggling to adapt and I just don't look forward to anything. I have no idea if I should change job or it's something bigger than that. I know that you can't just give me an answer of what to do, it's just that I don't know anyone in a similar situation so I just want to see if anyone else is the same. All my friends continued studying or had friends that graduated at the same time as them, but mine didn't.
Anyone else found a similar experience?
Post-graduation Depression Watch
- Thread Starter
- 01-01-1970 01:00
- 26-01-2016 02:17
Ah, it seems like you're having the post-University blues. Indeed, it's a comfortable lifestyle. Everybody has a similar mindset and is usually of a similar age, so I can understand the frustration you may feel when you don't click with your collegues the same as your university peers.
Before I joined university, it was sold to me as the 'best years of your life' where you will make 'friends forever'. Whilst for many this may be true, a cold, harsh reality is that many people tend to go their own seperate ways as..well...as life happens. Many people are in the same boat as you. They graduate from university, come back to the parents house and everything seems....bland. Wake up, go to work, come back, and not a lot more.
My advice to you is to go travelling. You describe your job as 'working in an office'. Well, is it a graduate program or a job you've always wanted? If it's just 'another office job', then save up, get yourself a backpack and go travelling across the world. You'll find it a familiar environment. You'll quickly meet people and form groups you can travel with and share moments with. You'll find that spark again. Don't give up just yet
- 26-01-2016 02:29
I have more to say on this but really OP it's more normal than you think. It's just people like to pretend they're all having a great time.
University is a good time for socialising and having so many people in your position so close.
Why have you gone back home? Why don't you find a job in Brighton or London and get back to a place where you can start up your social life again.
At the moment it's a vicious circle because you're back home, isolated, and in an unstimulating job. Of course if there's a reason to be back at home then I understand. But don't get stuck there. Get back out there.