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Can you be a Feminist but still expect Men to pay? Watch

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    Interesting question brought up by one of my friends, looking forward to any discussion!

    Referring to the man paying for dinner at a date, or maybe even other chivalry

    I'll start it off. Obviously, not being a feminist, I'd say no as it just promotes double standards, "the man should pay, because I'm a women, but I want women = men" doesn't sound very logical.... but I'm interested to hear what others think!

    EDIT ; Good points made, so I'll add:
    I'm all for the man paying, but if he hasn't offered, I can't deal with her expecting him to pay.
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    You probably can't be a (non-extreme) feminist and expect a man to pay for dinner, but I don't see why you couldn't be a feminist if you offered to split the bill and were then convinced by the man to let him pay.
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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    You probably can't be a (non-extreme) feminist and expect to pay for dinner, but I don't see why you couldn't be a feminist if you offered to split the bill and were then convinced by the man to let him pay.
    I do agree with this. But we all know women do that thing where they pretend to get their wallet out. I'd personally make sure we split the first date. If she makes it easy for us to split, she'll have my respect and I'll happily pay for it on future occassions. I'd love equality between sexes, and I feel feminists are fighting for this sort of "equality+" version now, which is a little depressing.
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    Most of the girls I know who claim to be feminists are perfectly happy with "gender roles" as long as they benefit. Which I would agree is hypocritical, although I'm sure not all feminists are like that.

    "Oh no I don't want to ask him out first, the man is meant to do that." Quote from Cambridge-educated feminist friend.
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    (Original post by Chief Wiggum)
    Most of the girls I know who claim to be feminists are perfectly happy with "gender roles" as long as they benefit. Which I would agree is hypocritical, although I'm sure not all feminists are like that.

    "Oh no I don't want to ask him out first, the man is meant to do that." Quote from Cambridge-educated feminist friend.
    Most of the girls I know who claim to be feminists are perfectly happy with "gender roles" as long as they benefit. Which I would agree is hypocritical, although I'm sure not all feminists are like that.

    "Oh no I don't want to ask him out first, the man is meant to do that." Quote from Cambridge-educated feminist friend.
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    (Original post by Chief Wiggum)
    Most of the girls I know who claim to be feminists are perfectly happy with "gender roles" as long as they benefit. Which I would agree is hypocritical, although I'm sure not all feminists are like that.

    "Oh no I don't want to ask him out first, the man is meant to do that." Quote from Cambridge-educated feminist friend.
    Yeah that's my issue, and yes I agree it can't be 100% of feminists - they tend to disagree with eachother a lot indirectly.

    I think they need to decide whether they want complete equality or not. I personally like gender roles, whether I benifit or not. I like the idea of treating the women very well, and not expecting much back. But I also like the idea of a women that looks after my kids whilst I bring money home. That's not saying that's all I'll settle for, I'm just saying a little tradition is nice.
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    If you know and accept that the fact that he's paying is because he's the man, then I would say no you can't be. That attitude seems to be incompatible with feminism and perpetuates the stereotype that he is supposed to take care of you. You can still want him to pay simply because you don't want to, because you're broke, it's his turn to pay for something, or because you feel you deserve it for whatever reason, but not if your desire for him to pay is generated by your expectation that because he's the man, he should do so. That's my two cents anyway.. (I'm not chipping in any more than that though, I paid last time )
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    I personally like gender roles, whether I benifit or not. I like the idea of treating the women very well, and not expecting much back. But I also like the idea of a women that looks after my kids whilst I bring money home. That's not saying that's all I'll settle for, I'm just saying a little tradition is nice.
    Agree with all this.
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    Regardless of being a feminist, that is an extremely sexist view, men are in no way obligated to pay for dinner any more than women. You should split the bill or if your insist on one person paying imo it should be the person who asked the other in a date
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    TBF I guess it makes sense if the woman is a lot poorer than the man. I guess this concept that the man should always pay is probably just a throwback from the time when women couldn't get real jobs.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    Regardless of being a feminist, that is an extremely sexist view, men are in no way obligated to pay for dinner any more than women. You should split the bill or if your insist on one person paying imo it should be the person who asked the other in a date
    First feminist I've seen be honest here thanks!
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    of course, hypocrisy and double standards are essential to being a feminist
    :lol: For some of them this is so true
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    You can be a feminist and *like* it when a man pays... :beard: 'Expect' is the difficult word, as it supposes there's some kind of moral obligation on the guy.

    Plenty of men enjoy paying, as do plenty of women, and plenty of people like splitting the bill - so people should do whatever makes them happy.
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    (Original post by The Socktor)
    TBF I guess it makes sense if the woman is a lot poorer than the man. I guess this concept that the man should always pay is probably just a throwback from the time when women couldn't get real jobs.

    then should the woman pay if the man is poorer than her. also how would you know who has more money?

    to answer op i think that you should split the bill
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    If you're fine with gender roles so long as they suit you then you clearly don't actually care about equality, only about yourself.

    So no I don't think you can be a feminist and still prescribe to these sexist views and expect men to pay for you on the basis of gender.
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    (Original post by chelseafreak)
    then should the woman pay if the man is poorer than her.
    Yes.

    (Original post by chelseafreak)
    also how would you know who has more money?
    By talking to eachother...
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    (Original post by The Socktor)
    Yes.



    By talking to eachother...
    fair enough, i just don't know many people that talk about money on a date
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    (Original post by ComputerMaths97)
    First feminist I've seen be honest here thanks!
    No problem, I really don't like seeing people saying they want to be treated equally but then trying to reap the benefits of being treated differently as long as it suits them that obviously goes for all genders but this topic is one that really annoys me!
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    (Original post by chelseafreak)
    fair enough, i just don't know many people that talk about money on a date
    I had the impression the of two people already in a relationship... I guess if not then whoever offers to pay it, I think both people should bring money anyway just in case the bill is higher than expected.
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    (Original post by Blondie987)
    No problem, I really don't like seeing people saying they want to be treated equally but then trying to reap the benefits of being treated differently as long as it suits them that obviously goes for all genders but this topic is one that really annoys me!
    Yeah everyone is a little selfish in this respect, it's just that feminists are known for doing it I just get annoyed at the feminists that can't stop tweeting/ sharing really sexist posts towards men, as in they hugely emphasise something a guy once did, or just take things out of proportion without accepting that some females do that too.

    I saw one today: "Society bullies strippers but nobody mentions the men that drive the demand for it. Double standards." Like what a stupid thing to say, how on earth is that mysoginy :lol: Feminism needs to be renamed to misandrism.
 
 
 
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